Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

A Glass Half Full	By : psychicvampire23 Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Rin > Sessh?maru/Rin Views: 9930 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
A Change
I sat down opposite Sesshoumaru and discreetly stared at him as he swiftly and elegantly took his place at the elaborately set table. His whole body moved with such masculine grace that my heart’s pace quickened and I was forced to look elsewhere fast before giving myself away. God, what a gorgeous man!
He must have been well known here, because with just a slight inclination of his head, a waiter rushed forward breathlessly to hand us a pair of wonderfully designed menus. I started taking mental notes for the restaurant I was helping to set up for a client.
Most of the dishes had peculiar names so after much thought I chose the safest looking one. “I’ll have the beef bourguignon please.” I smiled, handing the waiter my menu. The man nodded and turned to Sesshoumaru “and for you sir?”
I loved the way he looked at that moment, fingers to his lips and gazing coolly at the menu. He lifted his eyes and abruptly caught me staring, but instead of looking away I stood my ground, giving him a little grin. He then ordered a seafood dish with an awfully extravagant name that I can’t now recall, along with a wine that sounded very expensive. I wondered if he dined here everyday...I mean, never in my entire life had I entered such a prestigious a restaurant. But instead of thinking how blessed I was to have been showered with such luxury by Sesshoumaru, I felt that being here was such a normal occurrence for him that it was like...taking me to a Mcdonald’s or something like that.
I suddenly felt his eyes on me and I felt myself grow warm. I cleared my throat, determined to make small talk...or big talk, since I’m me after all.
“I’ve never been in a place like this, you know.”
“I observed as much.” He replied, his gaze unwavering and boring into me. His posture was very much like the one I saw the first day I met him at his surgery. Elbows propped, hands interlaced and mouth subtly placed upon them. I couldn’t help feeling like a patient under his scrutinizing stare.
“Yes well, I can see you’re used to this, I mean I’ve been wandering around with my mouth opening and closing like a goldfish looking at all this luxury and you just strode in here as though you came in for a cup of coffee.”

“Hmph, this place holds little meaning to me.”
Oh. Well, that made me feel less than special I can tell you. Alright, time to bring out the big guns!
“So,” I began, leaning forward curiously, “What made you choose doctoring?”
The waiter arrived with the wine at that moment and was pouring the chilled liquid into our glasses. Sesshoumaru took a sip of his. I assumed he wouldn’t answer my question but I was pleasantly surprised.
“My mother was a surgeon.”
“Really? Does she work at the General Hospital?”
“She’s dead.”
“Oh.” Damn, shouldn’t have asked that. Silly, silly Rin!
“I lost my mother too. And my father. And my brother. But that was a long time ago.” I said, trying to lessen the pain I still felt by smiling. His face was carefully expressionless and he merely gazed at me. Was he bored? God, it was impossible to know!
“Do you have any siblings?” I asked. His eyes darkened.
“I do not wish to speak of that.”
Okay, that meant he had a sibling. And obviously some serious family problems. I dropped the subject immediately and tried to think of something neutral.
“What’s your favourite colour?”
That surprised him, I can tell you. Well...as surprised as Sesshoumaru can get. He elegantly raised an eyebrow and paused before answering, as though calculating whether it was worth it giving me a reply.
“Blue.”
I smiled.
Our meal arrived and a brief silence fell over us as we ate. I had never tasted something so delicious in my life! Totally beats shrimp ramen. I savoured each bite, knowing it could very well be my last. I put my fork down and tried to start another conversation.
“Have you always lived in Tokyo?”
A pause as he sipped his wine in one elegant movement. “Yes, as I assume you have.”
“Yep, correct. And have you ever travelled elsewhere?”
“Wherever my work requires it.”
“Seminars?”
Silence....that must mean an affirmative answer. Hm, I think I was getting the hang of his ‘conversational skills’!
“You must earn a lot as a surgeon to afford these luxuries...the restaurant and your car, I mean.” Oh noo! Did I just sound like a gold digger? Did I? I fought down a blush and concentrated on my meal.
“I can afford these ‘luxuries’. But not as a surgeon.” Came his deep baritone. I glanced up, relieved that he hadn’t taken my question the wrong way.
“Oh, is there something else you do besides being a surgeon?” I asked.
He sat back and stared into my eyes. “Investments.” He said in a final tone, giving me the idea that he didn’t want to discuss the matter any further. This was getting exasperating! What could I talk about with this man?
We finished our dinner and ordered dessert. Well I did anyway. Sesshoumaru just had a brandy. When my dessert arrived (a delicious strawberry tart topped with whipped cream), I picked up a nice juicy strawberry with my fork and licked the syrup from it before popping it into my mouth. His eyes were on me, I knew, and I was feeling a little bit tingly.
“What is your ambition?”
His question took me by surprise, principally because he had spoken first. I swallowed what I was chewing.
“Well, I’d love to have my own advertising agency for a start. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my job, but sometimes you just wish you could be your own boss and not have to constantly answer to someone.”
“The pressures of management are far greater than those of an employee.”
“Yes... I know that” I said slowly, “but I feel I can handle the pressures of management better than being a simple employee. At least I can make my own decisions and not submit to those of others whether I like them or not. I personally feel I have so much more potential and that staying in my current position is slowly draining me of it.” I finished, scooping up the last blob of cream from my plate.
Sesshoumaru was staring at me in such a peculiar way that I immediately changed the subject.
“What did you have in mind for the future?”
His gaze grew cooler and he released a breath though his nose.
“I want to make something perfectly clear. I find you…interesting, but not enough to pursue anything else than a mere acquaintance.”
I just stared at him.
“You may have observed that I’m a busy man. I have no time for foolishness. No time to participate in…a young woman’s daydream.” He finished, taking a sip of his brandy.
I swallowed, my mind racing, trying to take in his cold words and finding something good to draw from them. I found nothing.
“I see.” I said quietly, staring at my hands. I sighed. I was defeated now, all excuses exhausted and all joy diminished by his statement. I was surprised that he was capable of saying that to me, and I was surprised that his interest in me was so low as to want to wave everything off as a ‘mere acquaintance’.
Despite wanting to fling myself into any dark corner and sob my eyes out, I smiled. Why, you ask? Because there was nothing else I could do, and I definitely wasn’t going to weep in front of this hunk of a man like some weak damsel.
“A young woman’s daydream…’ I whispered, my sad smile widening. I felt his intense gaze on me, inquisitive. I gave a small laugh and looked up at him.
“You have nothing to fear about a ‘young woman’s daydream’…I know you think you’re super handsome and can make the ladies fawn over you with just a glance, but I think your ego’s gotten the best of you this time!” I laughed, “I seriously want to get to know you better…I truly had nothing else in mind.” I smiled. Okay the last part of my sentence may have been a teensy bit untruthful but I would have to be mad to admit all of my daydreams and romantic imaginings!
He raised an eyebrow but the rest of his expression was unfathomable, so I felt compelled to continue.
“But…if you really want to stop all of this…’foolishness’, then it really doesn’t matter to me.” Ouch, talk about stabbing yourself in the back! I controlled my turbulent feelings and went on, “I don’t mind in the least. Actually, it’s best if we get on with our lives and think of this as a pleasant, temporary distraction that won’t repeat itself in the future.” I felt a lump form at the base of my throat but I ignored it. Rin doesn’t take rejection very well it seems. I couldn’t bear letting this beautiful man out of my grasp! I mean, would you?
“Hmph.” He said, downing the rest of his brandy in one gulp. I sighed. I knew I had to make things right before leaving , at least to convert this into a fond memory rather than a bitter one. Being the impulsive girl that I am, I reached out to gently touch his hand, which was resting upon the table. I felt him stiffen.
“Sesshoumaru, at least let me thank you for the dinner. It’s been a pleasure… for me, at any rate.” I said warmly, and with genuine sincerity. Looking into his cool amber eyes I saw nothing. He slowly pulled his hand out from under mine and with it, gestured for the waiter.
“It’s time to leave.” He said, his deep voice impersonal. I nodded, feeling a little bit sorry for myself for not having caused the least bit of an impression on him.
We left that marvellous restaurant and I glanced back at it, trying to burn the image into my mind, for it was quite obvious I would never go back there again. Oh how I would miss it! We waited for the valets to bring Sesshoumaru’s car (another thing I would miss) and we got in. This drive was going to be very, very awkward.
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On the outside, Sesshoumaru was the image of cool control. On the inside he was seething. No matter how much he forced himself to put a distance between him and that girl, his attempts proved futile. He didn’t dare give her a glance, he preferred to leave things as they were.
His purpose for telling her what he thought of her foolish endeavours, was to put an end to her pursuits of ‘friendship’ and make her upset enough to want to leave him alone. But it had done the opposite. Her reaction had reeled him in further! His interest in her had now reached a higher level, and he was furious at himself for letting it happen. And he was furious at himself for letting her touch affect him, because it had and he had not expected it to.
He forced his thoughts into a corner and took a hold of his emotions as he had done on so many occasions. She was nothing to lose control over.
The Ayase girl sat there in silence, hands folded over her lap. Her silence was unbecoming to her, a natural chatterbox. Now that his thoughts were in check, he could analyze her properly. What did she have that attracted him so? What had he overlooked? It wasn’t her appearance, he was sure of that, since she was no great beauty, nor did she have the perfect figure. Risa was a far more attractive woman, yet he felt nothing for her.
As he reached a stop light, he let his eyes roam over her, like a scholar would scrutinize a work of art. He knew the size and shape of her breasts by memory, but he didn’t recall the rest of her body being so firm and shapely. Her hair looked as though it would be soft to the touch, her eyes large and sincere, and her lips were…
He shifted the gears and started off again as the light turned green, focusing on the road with more force than usual.
Hmph. What nonsense.
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I was so disappointed. Serves me right though, for imagining things that could never happen. I had honestly thought that Sesshoumaru had wanted, or at least agreed to a friendship, but after recalling my actions in the past month it was obvious that it had been just me all along. I had forced him to be friends with me, I had bugged him and bothered him and tried to make him take an interest in me for who I was. He had been absolutely right, I had been making him a participant of a young woman’s daydream...of mine. It was so immature of me!
And I was glad he had been so blunt about it. It was the only way I would understand. He was going to get married and have beautiful children and live happily ever after while I was going to die alone surrounded by hundreds of cats. That’s the way life went, wasn’t it? Sigh.
I resolved to leave him alone from this moment on. I had no business meddling in his life anyway, we were completely different people from completely different worlds. I didn’t deserve a beautiful man like him, and he certainly deserved someone better than me.
Sesshoumaru pulled up at my apartment building. I got out in silence and even though he didn’t say anything he accompanied me to my door. From any other man I would have seen it as a sweet gesture but from him it was probably common courtesy. The balcony was dark and I had a hard time fitting my key into the lock, but after a few minutes I succeeded.
I swiftly turned to thank him for the ‘eventful’ evening but I hadn’t realized how close he was and found myself inches from his face, my nose almost touching his.
We were so near that I could feel his warm breath and the intensity of his gaze. His eyes were dark and smouldering, piercing my entire soul and making me feel warmer and warmer with each passing second. He slowly raised his left hand and placed it on the doorframe, inches from my head, his whole body a solid barrier from which I couldn’t escape. My gaze unconsciously dropped to his lips, bold and sensual and so close to mine. Having him this near was wreaking havoc on my body and mind, and his masculine fragrance was further fogging my thoughts in a delicious way.
Why was he staring at me like that? Was he going to kiss me? As soon as the thought crossed my mind he took a step back, the hand placed by my head dropping to his side. He walked away without saying a word.
I. Was. In. Shock. My heart was pounding like a drum and my breath was let out in a short spurt as I realized I had been holding it the entire time.
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Sesshoumaru got into his car and drove away from that place. He thought of the surgery he had to perform early the next morning, anything to push the image of the Ayase girl out of his mind. Against his will her face materialized like a vision, looking so fresh and innocent and...untouched. He smirked, refusing to consider those reasons as the cause of his attraction to her. Yes, she was very different from him, impulsive, noisy, cheerful and unpredictable and perhaps his subconscious had grown tired of the constant monotony of his life, which was why it had latched itself upon her. Almost forcing him to be seduced. And he very nearly succumbed.
Sesshoumaru scowled. He was a man of control, yet standing so close to that girl had produced a temporary fog over reason. That scent of lavender had enveloped him and triggered many childhood memories that he now refused to bring to the front of his mind. Gazing at her heart-shaped face, those huge doe-brown eyes laced with long sooty lashes, her full rosy lips that begged to be....
To be what? Kissed? Sesshoumaru snorted in his well-bred fashion. He had been far from that.
He had wanted to have a good look at what he was doing, and at who he was dealing with. It was enough to confirm that he wanted no part in it whatsoever. She was nothing to him, simply a waste of his time…a distraction. He needed none of those, he had his future carefully and conveniently planned, and it included Risa as his wife. Any distraction would jeopardize his calculations and he had no intention of delving into foolish affairs.
But he couldn’t ignore how aroused his body was.

iIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiI

I was definitely confused. One minute this man was stating that he wanted nothing more to do with me, and then…this happens! It seemed that whenever Sesshoumaru was present, things just kept flying out of hand, be it the situation or my own treacherous emotions. I knew very well that I was walking on very dangerous ground…he was practically married! And I also knew that I wanted more than a friendship, and it was useless to keep denying this inside my head. Obviously I needed to leave him alone and give up my attempts to befriend him…I’m not even certain why I wanted to in the first place! I had just let my feelings and impulses run wild, getting me into trouble as always.
I should have just left it at the post-surgery checkup. A polite thank you and it would have been over, but noooo I had to get all silly and develop a crush on him and invite him for a coffee as ‘friends’.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! I could have avoided all of this so nicely! But now…..now I was hopelessly drawn to him, like a moth to a light bulb and I was in danger of burning. His aloofness, his mystery and his damn delectableness were too much for me to push away and forget. What was it about Sesshoumaru that had made me fall so hard?
I tried not to dwell on what could have happened outside my front door, or to guess his feelings because I knew it would just confuse me more. Instead I undressed, pulled on my nightie and hopped into my nice comfy, squishy bed. Tonight, I was not going to think about him. AT ALL!
iIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiI

The days passed in dreary monotony for Sesshoumaru. Surgery, paperwork, apartment. Risa arriving from Kyoto, wanting to make love and him refusing. He was in no mood to pleasure anyone, not even himself. It was clear to him that he was surrounded by hypocrisy and falseness and though he was loathe to admit it, the Ayase girl had been a welcome change to his repetitive days. But that matter was dead and buried.
Done for the day, he went to his apartment, and felt a subtle irritation at finding Risa there waiting for him on the sofa in a sheer negligee. He dropped his keys on the counter and pointedly ignored her, going to his room instead, closing the door. And locking it. Risa sighed heavily on the other side, coming over to knock on the door.
“Sesshoumaru, darling...you don’t like my present to you?” she said, her voice muffled as it travelled through the door.
Sesshoumaru loosened the top buttons of his shirt, staring outside the windows at the night sky. He didn’t reply.
“Mmmm, you just need some persuasion...open the door and let me show you how persuasive I can be.”
“Risa, I’m in no mood for your games.” He told her coldly. “I’m going to rest.”
“In our bed?”
“In my bed, yes.” He drawled. He heard her sigh in frustration. “Fine, I’m off to visit my father then.”
Sesshoumaru smirked. She always used that as a threat but it never worked on him. A rustle of clothing told him she was getting dressed, and a loud slam of the front door meant she had no doubt left.
Sesshoumaru didn’t bother getting undressed, instead he lay down on his bed and closed his eyes, falling into a deep and troubled sleep. His dreams that night were filled with faceless Risas trying to seduce him and a certain young girl with perfect breasts escaping from his grasp.
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The alarm clock screamed at me, forcing me to wake up, ending my dreams that were all about...you know who. These past few days had been so meaningless and....boring. As if I’d been given an exciting present and it had been snatched away from me. The only thing that was keeping me motivated and energized was work. Even so, the early mornings were dire!
I hauled my body out of bed and dragged myself to the wardrobe to pick my outfit for the day. I chose a light blue blouse and wine coloured trousers, and placed them on the bed, kicking the heels I usually wore for work towards it.
I had a nice hot shower and felt myself perk up considerably. I was fully awake when I stepped out and felt the cool air of my room hit my steaming skin. I dressed in front of the mirror, gazing at the faint scar on the underside of my breast that was slowly fading away ever since the operation, just like my love life. Sigh.
I glanced at my watch and noticed I was still twenty minutes early, so I decided to run over to Nee-Chan’s café for the Danish pastry I had an urge to gobble. I grabbed my bag, folder and keys and left my apartment.
The air outside was getting cooler and growing more humid. The rains would be coming soon and I would need to lug an umbrella everywhere. Still, I didn’t mind, I loved the rain as much as I loved the sun. It gave life to all living things, even humans, and I liked the feel of the droplets on my skin.
I was at the café in five minutes and waited patiently in the queue for my turn. I stifled a yawn. At last I placed the order for my Danish pastry and was holding it in my hand less than two minutes later. I thanked the cashier and turned around to look for a table when my face made contact with a solid mass. I looked up and began to apologize when I realized who I’d bumped into. My words were caught in my throat.
Sesshoumaru was there, gazing down at me impatiently. And there I was, opening and closing my mouth like a silly fish. I struggled to pull myself together.
“Well, this certainly is a surprise!” I blurted out. Very smooth Rin, very smooth. His face held no expression or recognition whatsoever. It was like speaking to a complete stranger. I swallowed and stepped aside, letting him by so that he could place his order. Following close behind was a beautiful redhead that was no doubt his fiancé. She was so beautiful it made me ache to even look at her. I just stood there like an idiot before deciding to make myself scarce. A table was now out of the question, I simply had to get out of there and avoid a reaaaally awkward situation.
“I’ll just be going now.” I said unnecessarily. Sesshoumaru finished placing his order and looked back at me, narrowing his eyes. Okay, hint taken! I clattered out of there as fast as my work heels could take me and I didn’t look back. Clutching my Danish pastry in one hand, folder in the other and heavy bag slung over my shoulder I kept walking towards the nearby park where I knew I could have my breakfast in peace.
Just when I thought I was finally beginning to get him out of my thoughts, he reappears! Well, thankfully his attitude was less than friendly which made me even more determined to push him from my mind. The only thing was, it still wasn’t easy, not even then.
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“Who was that strange girl?” Asked Risa suspiciously. Sesshoumaru received his black coffee and Risa picked up her latte.
“A patient.”
“Hmmm. I hate how some people think they can just strike up a conversation with you after only meeting them once or twice.” She said, disdain lacing her words.
“Indeed.” He replied dryly, turning around, and oblivious to Risa, he eyed his ‘patient’ through the cafe windows as she hurried off towards the park. Risa sighed as she looked at her watch.
“Well darling, I know it’s still early for you but I must get going. I have to check on a leukaemia patient in fifteen minutes.” She didn’t kiss him goodbye. They never put on public displays of affection. Sesshoumaru gave her a curt nod and let her leave the café. He sipped at his coffee, staring out the glass doors and waiting for her to walk further away.
He strode out of the café and made his way towards the park, not sure exactly why he was doing so and telling himself it would be foolish as well as a waste of time. Unfortunately at that moment he had time to spare...
It didn’t take him long to find her. She was sitting on a park bench opposite the duck pond, her legs crossed beneath her body and high heels lying abandoned on the grass. She ate a pastry, occasionally tearing small pieces and feeding them to the new ducklings that gathered at the pond’s edge. It was strange for him to observe her like this, without her knowledge and with her as silent as a lamb. He was about to turn away and leave but his curiosity got the better of him. After all, he had nothing else to do except follow a predictable routine. It took him a moment to get closer to her, but it wasn’t because he hesitated. He never hesitated. Everything he did included a purpose, but at this point he had no idea what his purpose was...
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So there I was, happily munching my Danish pastry and watching cute little duckies, when all of a sudden this great shadow loomed over me. I whipped my head to one side expecting to see a hobo about to claim his spot but what I found was completely the opposite. Sesshoumaru was standing at the side of the bench, holding a steaming coffee and staring down at me with an unreadable expression. My gulp was pretty audible.
“Hello.” I said stupidly. I recovered in an instant and hastily searched around him for a glimpse of his fiancé. It was like he read my thoughts.
“She’s gone.” He said briskly and with a smooth movement he sat down beside me, but not without leaving a large gap between the two of us. I self-consciously lowered my legs and put my work heels back on my feet, trying not to look at him. What was he doing here?
He took a sip of his coffee. I glanced at him and noticed what he was wearing, something I hadn’t paid attention to when I bumped into him at the café. Freshly pressed black trousers, shiny black shoes and a pale blue shirt. The weather was getting cooler these days and he’d remedied this with a long black coat that was light enough for the season.
“Do you always blurt out the first thing you think of to someone and then escape?”
His deep voice startled me. I flushed. “No...that just happens with you.” I mumbled, staring down at my half-eaten pastry. I’d completely lost my appetite! When he said nothing I looked sideways at him. For a split second I thought I saw his mouth quirk in amusement but he swiftly lifted his coffee and blocked my view, making me think I’d imagined it.
I was feeling so not me at that moment. So un-chatty and un-everything. And it was all due to his presence that so disturbed, bewildered and delighted me. If only he were more responsive and more clear about his interests, intentions or whatever. Right now I didn’t know if he was here out of pity, courtesy or...something else. Gah! So exasperating!
My mind flew back to the night at my front door when our faces had been so close. What had he been thinking then? What was he thinking now? My face grew hot. I took a bite out of my pastry just to distract myself.
“I opened the wine you gave me.” He said, his voice void of emotion. I looked up.
“Really? How was it?”
“Adequate.”
Instead of feeling offended, I smiled. “I’m glad you liked it. Any one else would have thrown it away or given it to someone else.”
His gaze locked onto mine and I couldn’t tear myself away from it. Those beautiful eyes that had haunted my waking dreams since I first saw them, they were latched onto mine and making me imagine so many things.
I cleared my throat and looked away, opting to stare straight ahead. It was much safer, I can tell you!
“So, are you having a busy couple of days? I know I am. There’s this client that wants me to re-do all the mock-ups I’d made of his restaurant’s interior just because he’d been to another one and liked it even more. Now he wants me to copy them! I’m tired of telling him that doing so can cause him and the company I work for a huge amount of money, not to mention big problems with the owners of the other restaurant...” My chatter had returned with full force due to my nerves and I chose to look at Sesshoumaru, finding him staring at me strangely. Horrified, I threw a hand to cover my mouth.
“Oh God I’m just carrying on, aren’t I? I’m so sorry, I just talk a lot when I’m nervous...” I said, blushing furiously.
“You’re nervous?” he said, with what I thought to be a hint of amusement in his tone.
Damn my mouth! Damn it to hell! I clamped my mouth shut.
I heard a rustle and saw Sesshoumaru stand up. He crumpled his coffee cup and tossed it into the nearby dustbin.
“You’re going already?” I blurted out without thinking, my mouth unclamping itself. Sesshoumaru didn’t reply immediately.
“I have work to do.” He said finally. I nodded. “So do I. Well, it was...nice...talking to you.”
He gave me a curt nod and left.
The tension left my body in a rush of breath that I expulsed from my mouth and I slumped back against the bench. My heart was pounding and my stomach was flopping about like a trout, even my hands were shaking from nerves.
I swear to God, this man was going to be the death of me.
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A Glass Half Full