Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Strength	By : djserani Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Rin > Sessh?maru/Rin Views: 5963 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Ch 9
The next morning Rin was awakened by the sun streaming in through the open balcony door. It was warm for spring and she smiled briefly before the events of the day before came crashing back into her. Yuki came in at that moment, however, bearing a tray.
"Good morning, my lady. There is a bath prepared, but eat your breakfast first. Lord Sesshomaru left behind a message for you. I'll give you time to eat and bathe and I'll return to help you dress."
Rin stared at the scroll on the tray for a few seconds. She remembered herself enough to look up to Yuki. "Thank you very much. You shouldn't have brought this up, I could have come down."
"Nonsense. My Lord said you weren't feeling well." She smiled at her. "Now eat, dear. I'll be back." And with that, she let herself out of Rin's room.
Rin couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from the scroll. What could he possibly need to write that he couldn't say himself? She forced herself to take a deep breath and reach out to pick it up. Carefully untying the string, she opened it.
Rin,
The bandits along the borders are getting bolder. I must go and take care of this before it becomes a bigger problem than it already is. I should return before nightfall. I did not wish to wake you.
I would like to request your company when I return.
S
She re-read it several times before rerolling it and setting it aside. She couldn't quite reconcile the note with her stoic lord. She wondered what he must be thinking after last night.
She ate quickly, then headed in for her bath. She must have slept really late because the water was already starting to cool. She cleaned up quickly, then stepped out and grabbed her towel. When she came back into her room, Yuki was there waiting for her with her kimonos.
She sighed at the layers, but let her tie them up. She didn't even pay attention to what she was wearing today. Her mind was still on Sesshomaru and his note. It seemed so out of character for him to bother telling her where he had gone and what he was doing. She shook her head. She wasn't going to figure it out now.
She smiled at Yuki as she cleared away the things. "I will be down later for dinner. Thank you." Yuki bowed and left.
Rin headed over to the door to the balcony to her favorite spot and noticed that the flowers on her table were fresh. She wondered when they had done that. She stopped to smell them and they reminded her of the scents that were added to her bath water.
Stepping out onto the balcony, she breathed in the fresh sea air. She closed her eyes to enjoy the feel of the warm sun on her face, then turned to watch the gulls play on the surface of the water.
She still hadn't found a more firm place in the castle. Not much had changed in the last day. She was still at loose ends. She took a few more minutes to enjoy the morning sea air before making up her mind.
Through her room and down the stairs, Rin went in search of Yuki. She found her, as usual, in the kitchen. "My lady?" Yuki approached her. Thankfully, the kitchen was mostly empty at this time, the servants, obviously, off to do other tasks.
"I wish to learn about the castle and how it is run. Lord Sesshomaru is out and I am quite certain that he does not have the time to show me, anyway. I would like you to teach me." Rin was firm, and Yuki was slightly surprised but smiled widely.
"Very well. Let me start you with an official tour." She led the way back down the hall toward the entry way. Rin very happily followed her.
They spent the morning touring the keep itself, Yuki explaining each room. They saw the floor above her and Sesshomaru's rooms, which was more bedrooms. They then moved on to the top floor which was a huge suite of rooms that originally belonged to Sesshomaru's parents, then later his mother. As Lord, he could take it over, however, he never did.
She saw the lower levels of the castle, and she was a bit surprised. From the outside, the walls looked made of stone for the foundation, but the floors were wooden and the walls plaster and painted. There were store rooms upon store rooms, fresh springs and even holding cells for those that had broken the law. There was also a network of corridors that led to escape routes from the castle.
Rin was fascinated by the entire keep. There was so much here and she felt she had only scratched the surface. Yuki promised her they would get to touring the other parts of the castle another day. They headed back to the kitchen where Yuki made tea for them and they sat to discuss other business.
Rin learned about the hierarchy of the servants, how many there were, who did what and so on. By the time the afternoon had started to turn to evening, she had a lot of information to process. She took over the desk in the study she'd found and took out parchment, ink and pen and started writing some of it down.
When Yuki told her dinner was ready, she didn't feel so bad taking it there as that, at least, was on the first floor. She ate her dinner of chicken, rice and vegetables at the desk. She poured over her notes and, when Yuki returned for the tray and brought more tea, she did her best to clarify some details.
When she asked her who ran the castle, Yuki gave her a blank look. "My lady?"
Rin thought carefully. "Who handles the day to day business? Who oversees the servants? Makes sure the castle runs smoothly?"
Yuki smiled. "Oh, the Lady used to do that before she left. We've just sort of made due since then."
Rin nodded. "I'll be taking that over. I'll need to learn more. There is so much to it, but I will do that now."
Yuki grinned and Rin had a suspicion that this had been her thought all along. Rin simply felt that this was a way that she could make a place for herself here. She was not the Lady of the castle, but she was a Lady as dictated by her lord.
Rin was still working at the desk, making notes and lists and going over the notes she'd already made when Sesshomaru came in some time later. He was his ever-composed self, but she could see the minor wear around the edges. She stood up and hurried over to him.
"My lord, are you okay?" She inspected his armor, his clothing, his face, anything she could find. He simply stared at her as she took inventory and found no damage.
"I am fine. Do not worry about me." He paused and looked around. "Why are you in my office?"
Rin blushed. "I'm sorry, my lord. I needed a place to make notes and things and this was close to the kitchen."
"Do not apologize. I don't often use it." He paused. "What notes?"
"I have found a place for myself here. I have decided to take over the running of the castle." She smiled up at him and he gave her the hit of confusion.
"Run it?"
"Yes, my lord. Your mother used to before she moved. The servants do need guidance. I have decided to learn all I can of it and take over." She smiled again and turned back toward the desk.
His voice startled her. She hadn't notice him move closer to her. "You may have this office, if it pleases you. I do not really need it. I can put another desk for myself, if I need to. I have a few�" he paused. "Things to attend to. I will return shortly."
Rin stared at his retreating form a moment before she went around the desk and sat back in the chair she'd vacated earlier. Her office? The gift warmed her when she was still so unsure of where she stood with her lord.
She went back to her notes and made a few more. In only a short time, though, Sesshomaru had returned. He'd removed his armor and was clad only in his kimono and hakama, Mokomoko flowing loosely down his back. Rin jumped up to give him the seat she was in, but he waved his hand toward another low table with cushions around it. She moved over and sat on one of the cushions.
She had no idea what to expect. In the last three days, very little had not surprised her. Even her lord, her quiet, stoic lord, had been acting differently to her. She finally found out last night what had been bothering him, but she still felt like there was more to it.
She watched him now, as he sat next to her. He contemplated her a moment, as if he was trying to figure out how to say something. He looked away, then back at her, his mind made up. "How do you know you love me?"
Despite her earlier assertions that she was used to being surprised by now, he just proved that wrong. Whatever he had wanted to discuss, this was not what she would ever have thought.
She considered his question carefully. Though he would not want to hear it, she knew her lord well. She needed to find a way to explain it to him without compromising his pride.
"When I think about you, I think about how much I like to be near to you. I think about the possibility of not being with you for any amount of time, and it makes me sad. I feel safe around you. I'm happy around you." She folded her hands together and watched him process the information.
"Why are children so important to you?" She figured he was going through some sort of mental list he'd made of questions.
"That one's easy." She smiled. "I've been alone except for you and Jaken most of my life. But I remember my mom and dad and brothers and how happy we all were together. And I would like that."
She saw the confusion cross his face again. "But then, why would you give that up to stay here?"
She thought this one through carefully. "Because I love you."
"Then why not mate with me?" The confusion grew and Rin took a moment more.
"Because you do not love me. And in time I could learn to push my feelings aside and do good for your lands and your castle. But if we were to mate, then it would hurt every time we did. It would hurt, knowing that you don't feel the same for me." She didn't notice the single tear that streaked down her face until he reached across and wiped it away with his finger.
Sesshomaru took a deep breath and lifted her chin so she looked at him. "I do not know how to love."
* * *
It was the hardest thing he had ever said in his life. The hardest thing he had ever done. If it had been anyone else anywhere in the world, he couldn't do it. But he'd had a lot of time throughout the day hunting bandits to think about it. About her.
She had offered to leave him if it would be easier for him. She loved him, but she would give him up if he wanted her to. When she'd said that, he had to fight the urge to mate with her anyway, right then.
He realized the he didn't understand what this 'love' was. She said she "loved" him, but he didn't really know what that meant. He was still a little unsure exactly what it was, but he was beginning to understand more. He had never experienced these things she was referring to. His mother was as demon as he was and as such never showed anything. Until recently when she'd returned Rin to him.
She smiled at him. One of those knowing smiles he was beginning to realize meant that she understood more than he might like. "What is the first thought you have when you think about me leaving?"
That was easy. He wanted to grab on to her and lock her in a room or simply tie her to himself somehow. He gave voice to these thoughts and watched her smile widen. "Then while you may not be able to put a label to it, that is what you feel. Love is never wanting to be without a person. It is knowing that you want to be able to see them every day and know that they are okay. It's understanding them. It's�just being." Rin seemed to run out of words and he sat there processing the information.
He could already answer the first thought. No, he did not want to be without her. Since he had retrieved her from the village, he had felt the need to see her, make sure she was okay. In fact, though he hadn't admitted it to himself before now, he had been doing that for a very long time.
Did he understand her? Perhaps. Though he was sure he had much to learn about her. As he started to think about it, however, he realized he knew and understood her more every day.
And as he thought about it, he understood more. He was starting to realize why she had given him the answer she did. But she still managed to surprise him once more. "What is it about hanyou that you so despise? Besides the fact that your brother is one?"
Her words were quiet, but he knew that this was the single thing that could change everything. If he could have children with her - and at this thought, the image, unbidden, popped into his mind of Rin large with his pup. He looked at her again, her bright smile and even began to wonder what they would look like. He mentally shook himself.
He thought about it for a moment and, since he had already given so much away, he thought he might as well go for it all. "I'm not sure I know anymore." He took a deep breath. "I once thought it was that they were weak, animalistic creatures. However, I must now admit that I may have been wrong about that."
He ground his teeth together briefly. "InuYasha is not as weak as I once thought he was. And, perhaps, they can be taught how to be strong." He stared for a moment at the wood grain surface of the table. It was smooth and he could count the grains, waiting for her reaction.
When he couldn't wait another moment, he looked up at her and the sight that he beheld took his breath away.
- 8
- 9
- 10
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