Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Blood Stained	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 61648 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I do not make any money from these writings

Chapter List
- 91
- 92
- 93
A/N: Again, thank you for all the nice reviews. Just woke up from my night (day?) nightshifts are hell. This might be the only thing I have time to update today. I'm really sorry. I'm just so tired and I have to be at work for 11pm. I'll try. If not, I PROMISE, everything else will be updated tomorrow. Also, I've been writing sleep deprived lately. If anything seems weird, you see names you haven't seen before and it's all wobbly-wibbley...just roll with it.
This was not beta. I'm sorry. I barely re-read it... because I work long hours and I'm tired.
Blood Stained
Chapter 92: The Decision
Her heart was racing, her body was tired but the adrenaline kept her going. Why did she think it was a good idea to go chasing a shard all by herself? Why did she not wait for Inuyasha and the others? Of course, none of this would have happened if Inuyasha had come to pick her up as he should have. Stupid Inuyasha. Stupid Kikyo.
As she ran, Kagome turned her head and glanced back to try and catch a glimpse of her opponent. If only she could stumble onto a familiar face –heck even Kouga! The knowledge of someone else being around would make her feel safer. Since Kagome was not looking in front of her, she became distracted and her coordination greatly suffered from her lack of attention.
As expected, she suddenly tripped over a branch.
The impact came quickly and painfully and before Kagome could protect her head, it was smashed against a rock. The hit was so unexpected that for a second, Kagome did not feel it. She had to blink a few times for the pain to make its way to her brain. As soon as it hit her, Kagome's head violently began to throb. She managed to get on four with her blurry vision.
She succeeded in raising a shaky hand to her head and rubbed it slightly as she could feel a headache coming. Slowly, her vision cleared up, but the pain refused to cease.
As she removed her hand from her forehead, she felt something thick going down her arm. She yanked her arm around before she realized it was blood. No need to panic, its just blood. You've seen blood before. She pulled her arm closer to her body and saw the huge amount of blood on her palm going down her wrist and to her elbow.
She obtained worse injuries on her arm in the past, causing her to still be extremely calm. The resolution to not panic however left her mind quickly when she felt the blood sliding down her cheek.
How hard did I hit myself?
Obviously, she was a little more concerned about her head injury than the wound on her arm. Nevertheless, neither of these were her priority at the moment since her situation just got more complicated. The scent of her blood would surely attract youkais and she needed to leave now or they would turn her into their midnight snack.
She scrambled around for a few seconds before she managed to make it on her own two feet. Even though she still felt extremely dizzy from the hit, she immediately started to run again. In addition, she could see ahead of her that the forest was ending soon.
Once she took the first step, she was made aware of the pain in her right leg.
A sharp, breathe-taking agony ran through her whole body, giving her cool chills, as she put down all her weight on her injured leg. The wound from her head distracted her from any other kind of pain and she failed to notice the state of her leg.
I can do this. Kagome winced at every step she took, but she kept on running –well wobbling.
She needed to push her pain aside, or she might not make it; her adrenaline was the main reason why she could still run.
Kagome felt extremely relieved when she began to get closer to the end of the forest, hoping to be safe. After all, she couldn't be that far from Kaede's village. If she could only last a few more minutes, she would mostly be out of harm ways.
While she kept running, trying to stay alive, there was a feeling she could not shake off. Something was supposed to happen. Yes. She was supposed to get eaten alive and die. She ignored the feeling and kept on running. This was not how she wanted to die. Her heart raced as she finally saw the village come into view. She kept going as fast as her legs would allow her to go until finally, she collapsed near Kaede's den. She had never been this happy in her entire life.
From afar, she could see Sango running in her direction.
She made it.
As she laid on all fours on the ground, the nagging feeling returned. She turned her head, inspecting the woods but she saw nothing. Her eyes traveled left and right but all she found were trees and darkness. There should be something but there was not. Glowing. Glowing?
"Kagome! Are you alright?"
Kagome looked up at her friend and smiled. "I'm fine."
She was fine right?
-B-
Nightmares. Every nights she had nightmares. They kept her tossing and turning and sometimes, she woke up screaming. Her friends were starting to get worried but she convinced them all she was fine. Of course, they might believe her a bit more if she actually believed her own lies. Ever since that night in the woods, her life had felt upside down. Something was missing and she could not figure out what it was. Perhaps she did get injured…or maybe it was just the hit to her head. She should have gone back home and went to the hospital.
Although, she was a bit wary of the well. Since that day, she did not go near the well. Every time she approached it, she felt a bad feeling wash all over her. It was telling her not to go. And she listened.
She leaned back into her sleeping bag, uncomfortable. She was soaked in sweat. Her sleeping bag was soaked in sweat. At least Shippo was sleeping beside her as though nothing happened. Her night terror did not even seem to wake up Inuyasha. It was best this way; she did not want to awkwardly explain her situation to everyone again. They were worried enough as it was and when Inuyasha was worried, he yelled. She did not think she could handle his yelling right now.
Her heart was racing and her lips were dried. There had to be a way to stop this. She did not think she could bear it any longer. Nightmares were supposed to be temporary not a recurring thing. If only she knew the source of all her fears perhaps she could make it all stop. Another sigh escaped her as she ran her fingers through her hair. Another sleepless night.
At least she did not wake up crying this time. Some nights, tears were pouring out of her eyes and there was this unexplainable ache deep in her heart. It was as though something was ripped away from her and without it she could not breathe, she could not live.
What was this need? What was this hole that needed filling?
"Kagome."
She jumped at the sound of her name and began frantically looking around. Panic began to settle in when she came to the conclusion that everyone around her was asleep. Did she imagine it? Was she still dreaming?
"Kagome."
No. That was definitively real. She breathed in heavily as she slowly sat up, making sure not to wake up Shippo. Her eyes darted into the darkness but she could not see anything. Even the trees and the forest were too dark for her to discern anything. Did she dare get up? Was exploring such a good idea? After all, she could have gotten killed the last time she went off on her own.
"Kagome I-"
I what? The rest was too mumbled for her to hear.
Her face turned white and her hands became clammy. She managed to stand up on shaky legs and took a step closer towards the forest. This was a bad idea. But hey, Inuyasha was close by right? If she screamed, he would wake up? Then again…someone was calling her right now and he was not even blinking.
"Kagome."
Oh god, anything to stop that voice from muttering her name.
Her walking was stiffed and her knees were locked with each step she took. However, the closer she got to the forest, the louder the voice got. That had to be a good thing right? At least it was not running away and she would not be too far from her friends. Hopefully it would be friendly enough because she was certain she had lost all ability to speak or scream. Her limbs were shaking as she finally reached the edge of the forest. Unfortunately for her, it only got darker.
"Hello?" she asked, her voice a whisper.
"Kagome!"
The voice sounded different…happier. That was a good thing right? A mean person would not sound happy.
"Where are you?"
"Kagome, come, please!"
"I don't understand!"
"Please."
At the word, at the pleading in the voice, she felt herself break down. Before she knew what was happening, tears were rolling down her cheeks. She lost all her strength and she dropped to her knees. She hit the mud and she supported herself with her hands. "What do you want from me?" she shouted at the top of her lungs.
"I - we need you to wake up."
"I'm awake." This was not the nightmares. No, no, she woke up from that. The nightmare was gone was it not?
"He needs you."
He?
Kiyoshi. Kiyoshi.
"KIYOSHI!"
Brightness. Whiteness. And gasps.
When Kagome's eyes flashed opened, it was all she saw and heard. Three people staring at her; her mother, Sesshomaru and Kiyoshi. She was still in a fog of confusion as her brain tried to process what was reality and what was fantasy. This was the real world right? With her son, with her mate and with her mother. But the other world felt so real. It was just like - just like when she saw Sesshomaru in the woods except - she did not see him. She never met him.
And she felt the loss.
"Kagome?"
Sesshomaru gave Kiyoshi to Miyu before leaning forward. He gently brushed away some of her tears before cupping her cheeks. "Why are you crying?"
"I- I don't know," she said her voice husky. Wow how come she sounded like that? "Where am I?"
"The hospital," Miyu replied.
She squished her eyebrows together.
"You were in an accident," Sesshomaru clarified.
Her eyes quickly traveled to her son to make sure he was not injured. Wait. No. He was not in the car was he? The car. Oh god, it crashed and Sesshomaru - Sesshomaru was in it. She focused her attention back on him and searched his eyes.
Her concern for his safety nearly broke his heart. "I am well."
She nodded and then glanced down at herself. There were so many things hooked up to her arm and the rest of her body that she did not know where to begin. Apparently she got the worst of it. "How long?"
Everybody looked away.
"How long?" she asked again.
"Two months," Sesshomaru dared to reply. The worst two months of his life.
The tears began flowing out of her eyes again. She was here - asleep - for two months? How? Two months! No, no she could not have lost two months of her life… but so many things were happening. She - and then - Sesshomaru! He was looking to buy a house. They were looking together. And his mother, god she was a pain in the ass. Did she - did she try anything? Did anyone die in the accident?
He knew what she wanted to ask before she even voiced it. "The man who hit us. He did not make it."
She did not know him and he might have caused all of this and yet more tears poured out of her eyes.
"Nobody else was injured. Except you."
She held on to Sesshomaru's fingers, which was all the strength she had and she squeezed. As he looked at her, his heart swelled. Two months ago, he could have lost all of that. The way she looked at him, the way she held on to him. He always let it all go because he thought there was no hope for her and there she was, staring into his eyes alive and well.
For the first time in a long time, he was sure he made the right decision. Being selfish never paid out for him before but this time, it really did. For a while, he regretted his decision every single day. She made no progress, she did not wake up. Sometimes, he even considered summoning back the jewel. He was glad he did not. He was glad he said no on that day.
"Pick her. Do not pick yourself."
It would be the right thing to do would it not? He should choose Kagome and her life. He would even give his brother his life back. It would be the fair thing to do. After everything Sesshomaru did he was the last one that deserved happiness. And yet, instead of speaking the words and making his wish, he remained completely silent. He was speechless. He loved Kagome like he had never loved anyone. As a matter of fact, he had never loved before her. Rin had created that feeling within him but he truly discovered the limits and passions of love with Kagome. It was a different kind of love. He was not sure he was willing to let it go.
Sacrificing himself was the right thing to do but losing her… it was too much. Could he really take that chance? Although, if he said no, she might never wake up. He had her life in his hands and he had to choose if he wanted to be selfish or not. She always said he should be but he did not think she meant while making decisions for her. If he made the wrong choice, she might die. He might take everything away from her.
But - but this was not a decision he could make without her input.
Kagome had a life now, she had a son. He took too many choices away from her and he would not do it again. No, it would not be right. He could not read her mind; perhaps she preferred this life - although at this moment he doubted it - . Still, it was her choice to make. He would wait. He would wait for her to wake up because he needed to believe she would wake up. Once she would, he would propose to her what the jewel just offered him. She would then be free to say yes or no and he would not stop her.
If she wanted all of this gone, he would agree.
Until then, he had to keep believing in her, he had to keep thinking that she would wake up.
"I will not wish anything."
"You will lose her."
"Maybe."
If after a long time she did not wake up, he could always…wish it right? If the situation was extreme, he could still keep her. He had to hold on to that. He could not rule her life for her. She had to make her own choices just like she wanted him to make his own. Except, she was much better at it then he was.
"I will make no wish. Let me be."
And then, purple surrounded him.
Ever since that day, that moment kept replaying in his mind. She could have died and then it might have been too late to wish. However, in the end, he was right to wait. He did mean what he thought that day. He would not keep what happened from her. Perhaps she wished to go back and undo it all. After all the pain he put her through, it would be her right to do so. Today was not the day though. Not when she was so overwhelmed and confused. Soon. He would tell her soon.
"Is he okay?" she asked while looking at their son.
Sesshomaru nodded. "He missed you."
Miyu walked closer to the bed and rested Kiyoshi against Kagome's chest while still holding him. She was not convinced Kagome had enough strength in her arms to hold him up. Kagome smiled as she leaned forward and pressed her forehead against her son's. "Mommy missed you," she said, her voice breaking.
She knew he was the thing missing from her life. The mention of her son was what brought her back completely.
"I heard your voice," she said, though she did not glance at Sesshomaru. "You were talking to me. You talked about Kiyoshi. I remembered him."
Remembered? Her choice of words was strange but he did not mention it. He would ask later. He would ask what happened inside her head while she was asleep and away from him for two long months. For her, it was nothing more than the blink of an eye. For him, it had been agony and misery. For most of his life, he had her, he had goals… concerning her. It was the first time that he was completely on his own with nothing to occupy his mind. He nearly lost it.
She had wanted him to learn how to be his own person but this was the most cruel way for him to learn. At least he had his son by his side. It was probably what pulled him through, what kept him hoping that she would open her eyes one day. Kiyoshi needed her. He could be a father to him but he could never replace Kagome and all the love she had for their son.
"I always talked to you," he finally replied as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.
He always heard it was what you were supposed to do and he did not see the harm in trying. Every day he came to see her and he always spent a bit of time telling her about his day, what happened, what changed. Obviously she did not remember any of it and he would have to tell it all over again but at least - at least she heard him and she returned to him.
"You will be fine," he promised as he kissed her again.
He could not wait until they could get her out of this terrible place, until she was walking again and smiling.
Kagome let tears pour down her cheeks.
This was where it felt right.
This was where she belonged.
-B-
The sun was bright and nearly blinding as Kagome was changing into her real clothes. After nearly a week, they were finally letting her out of the hospital. She felt much better and they told her that her physicals wounds had almost all healed up. It was one of the perks of being in a coma for two months; it gave her body a long time to heal. At least she would not have to be in a lot of pain. The only problem was that she felt weak. Walking was a little harder than it used to be and even her arms had a hard time holding every day objects.
They told her it was pass and with time and exercise she would get back in shape quickly. Hopefully they were right. She could not wait until she could hold her son and take care of him. For now that task had been passed down to Sesshomaru and her mother. They did a good job during the past few months and she trusted them completely.
There was only one thing that scared her and that was not knowing how everybody had gone with their lives for the past two months. Sesshomaru did not really answer any of her questions and avoided the topic most of the time. She did not remember the last time he was so secretive. It was a good thing though. Did she not tell him to be himself? Perhaps it was what he did when she was gone. Although she mostly pictured him coming to the hospital all the time - which he probably did.
"Kagome, do you require any assistance?"
At the sound of his voice, she smiled. He was so concern. Though, she would not mind some assistance; her sleeves were giving her trouble. "Come in," she said as she tried to get her head through the shirt's hole.
He quietly opened the door and walked towards the bed. He managed to get her head through in a second, messing her hair up at the same time. Although, her hair was already tangled for life. Another positive outcome of her coma; she had a reason to shave her head.
Sesshomaru also helped her with her sleeves and then sat down beside her. "Are you ready to leave?"
"I'm not going to miss this hospital," she said as she leaned in against him. "Is my mother coming?"
"She stayed home with Kiyoshi."
"Then I'm ready."
He helped her up, even though she did not ask and offered her his arm. As they approached the door she noticed it. A wheelchair. "Really?"
"Hospital policy."
Yes, she had a little bit of difficulty walking all on her own but did she really need that? It was somewhat embarrassing. Nonetheless, she did not fight Sesshomaru as he helped her sit down.
"We are almost out of here," he said trying to encourage her. And then they would be home where he would have to explain everything to her. Two months did not feel like such a long time but without her it had felt like an eternity. Her coma confirmed one thing; living without her was nearly impossible. He was glad he would not have to do it forever.
He rolled her out of the hospital and then helped her into the car. She had seemed perfectly fine until she was seated. Then, he saw a panic settle in her eyes and he knew the reason behind it. He had felt the same thing the first time he got into a car after the accident. He did not want to drive, he hated cars, he hated humans - and he hated himself. That had not gone away. It would take a while for him to forgive himself but he did not want her to know. She did not need to worry about him.
Eventually he would get over it, especially now that she was back by his side.
"Nothing will happen," he promised. From now on, every time he was driving, all of his attention would be focused on the road - no matter what. Nothing would distract him and he would never get into another accident. If by some bad luck he did, he would be quick enough to save her.
She nodded. Kagome wanted to believe him and she did trust him but - her body was not listening. She closed her eyes and tried to lean into the seat. Maybe if she did not look and thought about something else, than it would be better. Kiyoshi. She could think about Kiyoshi while they were driving. Kagome was trying to picture her son in her mind when the car started. She gripped her legs with her hands and kept her eyes tightly shut.
Sesshomaru was not sure what to do; he wanted to go at a regular speed to lessen their traveling time but he felt like slower might be better for her. The less she felt the movements and the speed the better. Perhaps he would wait and see how she felt. He did not like to see her so nervous and terrified. Enough things happened to scared her and she did not need another reason to fear life.
It was just a car, was what she kept repeating to herself. The memories were blurry but she remembered her body feeling crush, flying out of the car. Her throat was dry and she was digging her fingertips so deep into her thighs it was beginning to hurt. She had to focus, she had to remind herself that this was not the worst situation she found herself in. She survived through worst thing than a car crash. And even that she lived through. She was strong, she pulled through things. She did not crumble.
One quick breath. Two. Three.
Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked at the road ahead. There was nothing. No traffic, no other cars. Only the road and the trees. There was nothing nerve racking about that. Right?
Kagome forced herself to keep her eyes open the entire time. Her heart was racing by the time they arrived at the shrine. Even after Sesshomaru parked the car and got out, she did not move. She saw him go around the car and open her door but she kept on staring ahead. She felt him reach out for her hand and squeezed it. For the first time since they got in the car, she released her thigh. It was probably bruised. She intertwined their fingers.
"I don't think I can move," she admitted. Fear was paralyzing her but she was also weak.
He nodded and wrapped his arms around her waist, mindful of the injuries she might still have. He got her out of the car and then, picked her up bridal style. There were too many stairs and her legs looked wobbly - he did not want to risk it. He closed the door with his foot and then began to head up the stairs. Kagome buried her face in the crook of his neck. It almost made her laugh to think about him carrying her like that. They were mated not married.
Sesshomaru heard her heartbeat slow down and he was relieved. For a while, he thought she was going to have a panic attack in the car. It was the only reason why he drove faster at the end; he wanted to end her suffering. As he held her even closer, he realized just how much he missed her, all of her. She was warm and alive.
Once they were in front of the door, he put her down on her feet while keeping one arm snaked around her waist. Kagome fumbled with the door before opening it. She barely had a chance to walk in that her mother was running in her direction. She wrapped her arms around Kagome and held her tightly. She was holding back tears. For a moment, she thought she would never hold her daughter again.
Miyu helped Kagome in and Sesshomaru followed closely behind. The house did not feel as foreign and strange to him as it used to - after all, he spent lots of time at the shrine during Kagome's recovery. Some days because he had to, some days because Miyu did not let him leave. He never seemed to be her favorite person, for good reason, but it was as though she saw something in his eyes; as if he should not be left alone. She was a kind woman.
Kagome sat down at the kitchen table, relieved to have something holding her up.
"Do you want some water? Or something to eat?"
Kagome shook her head. "No thanks, I'm fine."
She took a deep breath, hoping to relieve some of the stress she could feel building up.
"Take it easy. No rush," Miyu said as she sat down beside her. "You have time to catch up on everything you missed."
"Everything? What did you do while I was sleeping?" she asked amused. She could not assumed that a lot of things went on in the past two months. Or at least, nothing terrible seemed to have happened.
Unless they were keeping it from her. "Did… something happen?"
Sesshomaru avoided her gaze for a brief moment but Miyu replied by shaking her head. "Little things." She perked up. "Why don't you tell her Sesshomaru?"
Kagome chewed on her bottom lip; tell her what?
"I purchased a house."
Miyu could only mean that because he never told her about the jewel, about the wish he did not make. She was a great woman with a kind and pure heart but she might have hated him. He did not know because he did not know her. However, he had a feeling she would have wanted a different life for her daughter. She would never intervene, she would never force Kagome to do something she did not want to do but that was another situation entirely. This was a chance to start over and take away all of her daughter's pain. He felt that if he told her, he might have gone through with it.
If Kagome wanted to tell her later on, so be it.
"One of the houses we saw?"
He shook his head. He did like the last one they visited but after she had her accident so close to it, he would never be able to live there. He did not want any of the other houses either; they reminded him of her. He required a house that was not attached to her at all. It was the only way to find some sort of peace. At first, he intended on staying on the hotel but then, he thought about her. She wanted him to get a house, she wanted him out there doing things for himself. His heart was broken at the sight of her comatose body and he decided he had to follow her advice.
And he did.
It was hard and he was afraid he might regret it but… but then he realized it was just a house.
Kagome broke into a smile. "I'm glad." She tried so hard to get him to make decisions for himself. Apparently all it took was…for her to be gone. He was afraid he was going to disappoint her or hurt her so when she was not around, he actually made decisions.
It was good and it was bad all at the same time.
"Would you like to visit it? Later, of course."
"I'd love to."
He made a decision not based on her; she was intrigued to see the house.
"What I would love right now though is to lay in my head," she said with a sheepish smile. Leaving the hospital exhausted her and she knew her body needed a nap - which was almost ridiculous since she spent the last two months sleeping.
Sesshomaru helped her once more and they went up the stairs. They were a little harder to climb than she remembered. However, with Sesshomaru holding her up and the ramp, she finally managed to make it to the top. As soon as she opened her bedroom's door, she saw her son sleeping in his crib. She could not wait until she could hold him in her arms.
She felt terrible about what happened; her son needed her and she was not there. He could not possibly understand why his mother was ripped from him for so long.
Sesshomaru quickly picked up the salty scent of the tears forming in her eyes. "I brought him to the hospital many times."
"You did?"
"I wanted him to see you, feel your aura."
His son might be young but he had great powers. He was certain feeling her presence was what kept him from being so reckless. However, that was not the topic he wanted to discuss. It was not why he brought up that little information.
He had to tell her because it was eating him up.
"Something happened at the hospital."
She frowned. "With Kiyoshi? Is he okay?"
Sesshomaru silently led her to the bed; it was probably best if she was sitting down. He did not trust her legs to hold her up.
"Yes, and yes, he is fine."
"But something happened to him?"
"Something happened with him."
"Sesshomaru, what's going on?"
He sighed. "The first time I brought him to the hospital I was rather desperate. I felt as though I had failed you." He still did. "I would have done anything to erase what happened, to bring you back - awake." She was staring at him so intensively, he was unsure if he could even finish his speech. "Since I was holding Kiyoshi in my arms, my feelings made the jewel react."
Her eyes flashed opened, her lips parted and he saw the fear shining through her. "S-Sesshomaru…" Last time she made a wish, the jewel ended up stuck in their son, punishing him for her mistake. She did not even want to think about what happened now.
"I did not make a wish," he clarified first. He saw her relax a bit but her body posture remained stiffed. "It - it made me a proposition. I could make a wish and take it all back."
"The accident?"
"Us."
She knitted her eyebrows together. "Us?"
"It offered to take all your pain away, all your bad memories. We would have never seen each other that night in the woods."
"You said no?" Obviously.
He nodded. "But I wanted to tell you. I said no because it was not my choice to make. It is your life. I know the jewel has brought bad things upo everyone but, I wanted you to have the option if you desired it."
"You wanted me to be able to take it all away? All of us?"
He nodded again.
Kagome used the bed to push herself up and then leaned against Sesshomaru's chest. "I might not like everything about how we got together but it's our life, Sesshomaru. I am happy with you now and I love our son. I would not trade my life for anything. I would not be the same person."
"You would be happier. And everyone would be alive."
"But I wouldn't have you or Kiysohi." She raised her hand to cup his cheek. "I dreamt while I was in a coma. I dreamt that we were not together. That I was back to my old life. It wasn't right, Sesshomaru. I hate the way it happened but, I think - I need to believe there is a reason why it happened. The jewel only brings misery. If it wanted us to never be, then it was for a horrible reason."
She buried her face in his chest. "I would never make that wish. Why do you think I rather have your beast be a part of you than to lose you? I love you, Sesshomaru."
He wrapped his arms around her, his heart heavy. Nothing ever felt as liberating as her words.
He offered her the perfect life, a life without pain and misery.
A life without him.
And she chose the hard way, the way that got them where they were today.
For the first time since he turned down the jewel, he felt alive.
She was right; selfishness was freedom.
He could freely admit that he was never letting her go.
-B-
- 91
- 92
- 93
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Blood Stained