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The Life I Never Had	By : inuyashasgirl Category: InuYasha > General Views: 1222 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Life I Never Had
- 1
The Life I Never Had

A/N: This is a very sad story. It’s told from Kikyo’s point of view. She witnesses Inuyasha and Kagome make love for their first time. It will be a short tale so I hope you enjoy it. It just kinda came to me overnight.
The moon hung high in the dark violet night sky looking like a large perfect pearl against an endless blanket of velvety violet sky. I breathed in the cool night air deeply until my lungs felt as if they were about to burst. The land feels at peace now that Naraku has been destroyed and the Shikon No Tama pieced back together. Tears burn my chocolate brown eyes when I think of the sacred jewel that cost me my life over fifty years ago. Blinking them away I continue on my journey, to where I’m not exactly certain but I press onward regardless.
My bare feet feel the cool dew dampened grass beneath them as I pad across the field. Finally I reach my destination which turned out to be the sacred tree that I had pinned Inuyasha to over fifty years ago on the day of my death. I had foolishly fallen for Naraku’s trickery and believed that Inuyasha had betrayed me in order to take full possession of the Shikon No Tama. Inuyasha had been the great love of my life and I was infuriated when I believed that he had not truly returned my feelings. I shut my brown eyes tightly as I remembered firing the sacred spirit arrow that plunged into Inuyasha’s chest pinning him to the sacred tree.
Taking another deep breath I realize that I should not think about that horrible day anymore. Inuyasha had surprised me greatly by relinquishing the Shikon No Tama to my reincarnation, Kagome when they had finally pieced it back together. He had allowed Kagome to make the wish on the jewel. She had ended up wishing that every innocent person who had lost their life because of the Shikon No Tama be brought back. I had been fortunate enough to be one of the few whose life was restored. Having been given a second chance at the life that was wrongfully stolen from me all those years ago, I had naturally assumed that Inuyasha and I could pick back up right where we had left off all those years ago.
What I had not taken into consideration was the possibility of Inuyasha’s feelings for me fading away with my absence. The night that my life was restored I had journeyed to my sister Kaede’s hut to see Inuyasha. I had planned to tell him that I was still in love with him. But instead of finding Inuyasha waiting for my arrival with open arms, I found that he was more concerned over my reincarnation. Inuyasha barely even acknowledged my presence as he went off to discuss his and my reincarnation’s future now that their quest had come to an end. I felt betrayed all over again as I watched Inuyasha walk away hand in hand with the girl that had stolen my life. It had been nearly two whole weeks since that fateful night and for some reason my heart was still longing for Inuyasha.
I sat with my back against the smooth bark of the sacred tree looking down upon the open field from my place on one of it’s branches. My breath caught in my throat when I heard a young woman’s laughter. Then it was followed by a small yelp. My brown eyes caught a glimpse of my reincarnation. She was slung over the shoulder of my beloved and he was carrying her towards the sacred tree. Inuyasha stopped at the base of the sacred tree and gently placed Kagome back on her own two feet. I quickly used my miko abilities to conceal my aura so that Kagome nor Inuyasha could sense my presence.
I listened as Inuyasha’s husky voice floated on the breeze up to my ears. “Kagome, there’s something I want to tell you.”
“Go ahead Inuyasha, I’m listening.”

‘Yes Inuyasha, go ahead for I wish to know what you desire to tell her as well.’ I thought to myself anxiously. I watched Inuyasha as he gently took both of Kagome’s hands in his.
“Listen Kagome, we’ve been through a lot together and I’m really glad that we met.”
“Me too Inuyasha.”
“And I want you to know just how much I really do care for you.” I frowned as Kagome’s face reddened at Inuyasha’s sweet words. “Kagome, what I’m really trying to say is that I’ve fallen in love with you. Please stay here with me and I promise I’ll give you everything you ever want.”
“Oh Inuyasha! I love you too! I’ve loved you for so long now, even when I believed that your heart would forever belong to Kikyo, and I feel like I’ve waited my whole life to hear you say those words to me!”
“Then you’ll stay here with me Kagome?”
“Yes! Yes Inuyasha, I’ll stay with you!” My heart sank to my stomach like a stone sinks in water when I heard my beloved tell Kagome the very words that I had been longing for him to say to me. I watched in agony as Inuyasha swiftly pulled Kagome into his arms. Then he leaned down to claim her petal soft pink lips in a first kiss. I could feel the tears that had begun to build in my eyes as they threatened to leak out of my eyes. Inuyasha deepened the kiss between he and Kagome making my eyes slip closed to block out the horrible image.
My hot salty tears immediately leaked out of my chocolate brown eyes. For some inexplicable reason I opened my eyes to look at the two once more. I was shocked to see Inuyasha raising Kagome’s shirt over her head. Soon her pert young breasts were bared to my beloved and he immediately leaned down to draw one of her milky white soft mounds into his mouth.
The sound of Kagome’s moan was sheer punishment to my ears. Time seemed to stand still for me as I sat there watching the two undress each other hungrily, like a moth is draw to a flame I was unable to tear my eyes from them. Soon they stood naked before each other and then began to lower themselves to the dew dampened grass. I still could not tear my tear filled gaze from the two almost lovers as Inuyasha moved to lay over Kagome. I wanted to scream out to Inuyasha but my voice just would not work. My eyes focused on Kagome’s face as Inuyasha slipped inside her virgin body for the first time.
I choked back a sob as I watched my beloved make love to the woman he truly loved. The moonlight hit their bare sweat covered skin making them almost glisten underneath it. I watched devastated beyond belief, too hurt not to cry but too shocked to turn away as Inuyasha thrust into Kagome over and over again. Kagome’s gasps, moans, and pants of pleasure floated up to ring in my ears as if to taunt me. It seemed as if they made love forever and like a fool I sat there watching the whole private moment from start to finish. A fresh stream of tears began spilling from my chocolate brown eyes as I heard Inuyasha give a low yet pleasure soaked moan as his release crashed down upon him in huge waves.
They lay there still intimately joined trying to catch their breath. I wiped the last remaining tears from my eyes as my beloved finally pulled himself from Kagome’s body. My chest was filled with a dull throbbing ache as I came to realize that Inuyasha had spilled his seed inside Kagome. I forced back yet another sob as I realized that she was eventually going to have everything that I had desired. Kagome had Inuyasha’s love, his heart, his soul, and quite possibly his child would soon be growing within her as well. I watched bitterly as Inuyasha and Kagome began to pull their clothing back on. My mind was a whirlwind of many different thoughts. ‘Damn you Kami for being so very cruel! The one that I have so dearly loved all my life has given his heart to another! I wish that I had not been granted a second chance to live again! Life no longer holds any meaning without my beloved Inuyasha!’

After the two had dressed and then sat underneath the sacred tree I decided tt myt my presence be known. Climbing carefully from the sacred tree I came to stand behind them. I lower my concealing spell to allow my presence to be acknowledged. Immediately the beautiful amber gaze of my beloved caught sight of me. “K-Kikyo? What are doing here?”
“I came to see you Inuyasha.”
“How long have you been here?” I gave him a sad smile and then looked at Kagome.
“I saw and heard everything Inuyasha.”
“Kikyo, I’m sorry I had no idea you were here.”
“Don’t apologize for your feelings Inuyasha. I realize that there is only room in your heart for one woman and sadly I am not that woman any longer.”
“No Kikyo, you are not. I’m in love with Kagome now and I can’t no won’t give her up.”
“I understand Inuyasha. You need not worry about me asking you to give up the one you love most. I cannot lie to you, I’m still very much in love with you but I only wish for you to be happy.”
“I am happy Kikyo, Kagome makes me happy.”
“Then be with her and take care of her always Inuyasha.”
“I want you to find happiness too Kikyo.”
“I am happy just knowing that you are happy Inuyasha. I must go now for I have already lingered here for too long.”
“Where will you go?”
“Perhaps to a village where no one knows me and I may be permitted to start anew.”
“I hope that you find everything that you seek Kikyo.”
“I shall, don’t worry about me anymore Inuyasha for I’m no longer your concern. Soon you will have a family to worry about.” I smiled as his amber eyes grew wide at my words.
“Kikyo you mean-” I placed my hand gently on Kagome’s flat stomach making her gasp softly.
“Hai Inuyasha, you created a child tonight. Now I shall bid you both farewell. Perhaps we will meet again someday.” Kagome suddenly found her voice as the miko stood to leave.
“Goodbye Kikyo.” I smiled at my reincarnation no longer feeling the overwhelming urge to hate her with every fiber of my very being.
“Farewell Kikyo.” I could feel Inuyasha’s and Kagome’s eyes following me as I walked away from them. Holding my head high even though my heart felt as if it had shattered into a thousand tiny pieces I made my way to the edge of the forest that shared the same name as my former love Inuyasha. Turning my face to the moonlit sky let out a heavy sigh as my tears began to stream freely down my pale face once more. I had finally made peace with my beloved Inuyasha and the strange girl Kagome who had found her way into his heart. I allowed myself to truly smile for the first time in a long time as I contemplated what future might be awaiting me in the next village that I chose to live in. Perhaps I had been forced to sacrifice my love for Inuyasha to ready myself for some greater destiny that Kami himself had always meant for me to fulfill.
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The Life I Never Had