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What Hurts the most	By : XxSangoxX Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > InuYasha/Kagome Views: 1923 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-What Hurts the Most
- 1
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What Hurts The Most



Songfic.



Disclaimer: I do not own either Inuyasha or any of the song lyrics that are
below... they belong to the talented Rumiko Takahashi and The wondrous band
Rascal Flatts.

� 2003 Gottahaveable Music (BMI) and Songs of Windswept Pacific (BMI), Almo
Music Corp. (ASCAP) All rights on behalf of Gottahaveable Music administered by
Songs of Windswept Pacific. All rights reserved. Used by permission

CLAIMER! This is my idea though i use the song for inspiration and am borrowing the
Characters in which i do not own... this idea hath come from my glorious mind... i know...

I have WAY to much time on my hands.. R&R lovlies!!! please.

*** trying sooo hard not to sound desperate haha***





           Her tears burned
as she neared the newly painted room.  She imagined that he was
standing near the bassinet lovingly looking down at his son.  The
pain of losing stung like a razor's cut.  And the blade just kept
ripping.  Suddenly she found herself standing over the wicker
crib.  Reaching in, she lifted him to her careful arms cradling his
delicate head to her shoulder.  He cooed.  She found that
she could no longer compose herself from the tears she so desperately tried to
fight.  Finally letting them fall, she could taste the salty tears
rolling down her sullen face.  She looked down at him when he made a
delighted sound.  Beautiful in her arms.



           "You look
just like him..." She said to the happy infant.



  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can take the rain

On the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then

And I just let 'em out



  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




It had been a year ago, they had defeated Naraku finally, but not without
cost.  He had died... in her bloodstained arms.  It had
taken all of the energy and life that he had inside of him to protect
her.  To save her from Naraku's final attempt to destroy
her.  The others could only look on in despair with a sympathetic
solitude about them.  They were surprised.  She
remembered.... His hand had reached up to her tearstained
cheekbone.  So sweetly.



              "I
love you, you know..." He had managed to say in a shaky
breath.  She clenched her eyes tightly as she reached her fingers to
his hand.



              "Please
don't leave me here Inuyasha... I need you..." She brought his hand to her
not yet growing abdomen.  "We need you... please hold
on..." His freed hand went behind her head bringing her into a weak kiss.



              "I
am always with you Kagome... but, I'm not going to make it this time..."
he choked and drew in a quick breath.  "Promise that you will go
back ... to where... to where you are safe... to were you can keep our pup
safe.... promise me Kagome."  She simply lifted his head to her
lap.




"I promise." She heard herself faintly mutter.  Realizing
his breathing had stopped she started to feel an urge to save him that she had
never experienced.  Seeking out Sesshoumaru, she got on her knees and
begged him to save his brother.  But it had been too
late.  Even Tensaiga could not save his already gone life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though, goin' on with you gone, still upsets me

There are days every now and again

I pretend I'm okay

But that's not what gets me


Looking at her baby, she wondered what he would think.  What kind of
father would he have been had he gotten that chance?  She wondered
what it was going to be like to have to grow up without his father, when and
how his Hanyou side would show up... Her tears had stopped falling as she
realized he had fallen asleep.  Gently, she laid him back into his
crib and walked out.  But not before throwing one more loving look
towards him.   She made her way to her room, and tried to close her
eyes when she lay down.  It proved impossible.  The task
just couldn't be done.  She could not pause any thought of memory
flow long enough to relax and achieve any level of peace or
sleep.  Her thoughts finally started to calm... drifting off to a
single memory.... Just before they confronted that bastard Naraku.



  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





         They had been alone... she
remembered.  Up in that beautiful tree, the sun setting gently
overcastting a golden glow over everything.




"Inuyasha, there's something that I need to say..." He cut her off
with a frozen stare.  He was looking knowingly into her
eyes.  It was that look he had gotten so many times before that used
to freak her out.




"Hai Kagome... I know." He was silent.




"You know?  Well... what do you know? I haven't said
anything."  He looked away, towards the golden horizon.




"About our pup." He said quietly to the sky.  It had been
odd to see Inuyasha so nonchalant, loving, so peaceful.  It was out
of character a bit, but not an annoyance by far.  She had looked down
before looking away opposite Inuyasha's direction.  Tears started to
swell in her eyes as she found it hard to breath.  Had he been
upset?  Why isn't he saying anything? She had
wondered.  His hand grasped hers catching her off
guard.  Looking down at it, she let her gaze trail slowly reaching
his face.  Those beautiful amber eyes that were tearfully looking in
... to her own blurred ones made her heart stop momentarily.  He
grasped her other hand with his and turned her so her back was to him, pulling
her close in an embrace.  She had closed her eyes letting out a
breath that she seemed to have been holding for an eternity.





What hurts the most

was being so close

and havin' so much to say

And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'

What could've been

And not seein' that lovin' you

Is what I was tryin' to do








His head found rest a top her head and she could feel him take in a breath and
kiss her softly.  Tightening his embrace, she brought her crossed
arms over his and pulled him even closer as she sank her body against his
frame.



                    "I
promise you Kagome... I will always protect you...our pup... No matter what
that means.  Even if I have to give my own life, you will be
safe."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






Reaching underneath the top of her nightgown, Kagome tugged at the thin gold
chain and pulled the heart shaped locket into her hands.  She
remembered when she had given it to him all those years ago.  It was
hard to open, but she managed to pry the clamp open with one of her
nails.  The pictures inside took her back to a time before their
first kiss, to a time before he had ever touched her the way he
did.  Back to his childish ways acting like a jerk even though he
loved her... even then.





It's hard to deal with the pain

Of losin' you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' it

It's hard to force that smile

When I see our old friends and I'm alone

                      Kagome
thought of the day they buried Inuyasha near the very tree that they
met.  It was the day she left Kirara, Shippo, Sango and
Miroku.  It had been the second hardest day of her life to say
goodbye to them.  Inuyasha's death impacted them all pretty seriously
and though it would have probably benefited to stay where there was understanding,
she couldn't bring herself to look at them everyday.  To do that...
would be to remind her of all the times that they had had
together.  That had mattered then.  She remembered that she
wished that she could talk to Sango.  She wished that she could have
her there to help.  She wished that she could stay.  But
she knew that it wasn't possible.  She promised him that she would
make sure he was safe.  If she had stayed... that wouldn't have
happened.  Kagome went through her days as if she were robotic, she
didn't talk to anyone, she didn't do well in school after that and when she
started to show, she dropped out completely.  There would be days
where she would sit beneath the Goshinboku tree for hours talking to Inuyasha's
makeshift grave.  It would always hit her like a ton of bricks when
she would come to the realization of how long that grave had been there, after
all... the marker she had placed there was so faded she had to remark
it.  She had created a garden around the Goshinboku tree, surrounding
his grave, as a small gift to him... or perhaps to save her own
sanity.  After a while, her grandfather died and her mother went to
work for a company that she had dreamed of getting a job at for
years.  Kagome didn't know the name but Sota decided to tag along
leaving the shrine and house to Kagome.  She lived alone for most of
that time, but one day, she was drawn to the well.  She decided that
she needed more help and friendship than she realized, that was the day she
decided that she couldn't do this alone anymore.  She needed her
friends.



Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade, give away

All the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken



             In
keeping her promise to Inuyasha,Sango and Miroku agreed that it would be
different, but worth a shot to move in with Kagome...forever leaving the feudal
era.  They had adjusted to life there easier than expected and were
even awaiting the birth of their daughter.   Her thoughts drifted
back to Inuyasha... her heart felt as though it had been squeezed tightly, her
eyes were sore but she knew... that no matter what had happened... even though
he wasn't there, she had to go on.



             In the
next room the baby cried.  Kagome got up from her bed and walked into
the room.  Picking him up she noticed that he now had silver hair and
dog-ears... just like his father.




"Oh, I know sweetie... you just aren't used to it yet... mommy is here for
you.  You know what would cheer you up?  I do..." she
said in a sweetly baby voice.  "I'm going to tell you about the
greatest man I have ever met... his name was Inuyasha... your
daddy.  And though you prolly won't understand anything I am telling
you, I think its only fair that you know he is always with us.  It
all started one day when I was 15 years old...."



Not seein' that lovin' you

that's what I was trying to do

Oooo, Oooo, Oooo -
- 1
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What Hurts the most