Indelible | By : yukisan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 6535 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story. |
Kagome is given a love potion that, once digested, would cause her to fall madly in love with whoever she comes in contact with next. If the relationship isn’t consummated within three days then the memories she had during that time would be erased as would the affection she held for whomever it was. [one-shot]
-*-*-*-
Indelible
~ incapable of being forgotten; memorable
-*-*-*-
The moon was hidden behind thick and heavy clouds as the lone figure made it’s way through dense treetops. The target was close and would be only feet away within minutes. A heavy miasmic stench filled the space around the two fighting figures below, suffocating the area. The shadow gracefully landed on the ground below, in the between a battling Inuyasha and one of Naraku’s cloaked puppets.
A loud scream pierced the air as the would-be assassin lunged for the baboon impostor; the short dagger tore through the fur before turning to ash and scattering with the wind. Laughing echoed around the two and faded away along with the poisonous gas.
Inuyasha growled, turning to the intruder. For the first time, he noticed that it was a young girl wearing a mask similar to Sango's. Kagome rushed up, shouting his name. He turned and walked away from the human. “He got away thanks to her,” he spoke to Kagome as she passed him. He turned still fuming. “Who the hell are you anyways?”
“It doesn't matter, he was just a puppet,” she said smoothly.
“We were tracking it,” he growled back.
“Inuyasha!” Kagome chastised him before stepping closer to the girl, turning to face her. “I'm sorry about Inuyasha, please don't let him bother you. My name is Kagome,” she smiled.
The girl shifted. One of her hands came up to pull the mask away from her face, revealing her youthful beauty which was only enhanced by her ebony hair and crystal blue eyes. “My name in Himeko. Naraku destroyed my village and killed everyone in it.”
Kagome quickly glanced at Inuyasha before turning back to her. “You're not his first victim. We have another person traveling with us that is in the same situation you are in. Why don't you come back to our camp and we can talk there?” She extended her hand to the woman, smiling softly. “We're all enemies of Naraku.”
The woman's gaze narrowed. “A ninja does not work with others.”
Inuyasha cleared his throat as faint voices from above could be heard. “Kagome, we can't stay much longer. Miroku and Sango are approaching.”
“Please travel with us. We could use your help.” There was a long pause. “You can at least get a hot meal before you go.”
Himeko's eyes bore into Kagome's and the girl slowly nodded. “Very well.”
Kagome smiled at her answer and turned to glare at the hanyou before pulling her along after him. By the time the women met up with Inuyasha, he was speaking to the monk and slayer. He waved them over and Kagome assured the younger female that it was safe. The woman still kept her distance. The monk did not look at threatening as he potentially could be, but the woman with the demon-slaying armor also held a large weapon. And she knew, from past experiences, that one had to be good to weild such a large object.
“They have camp set up a few miles north of here. It's close to Sesshoumaru's territory but we should be fine. Naraku's too weak to do something that stupid,” Kagome explained to Himeko, then exchanged a look with Sango as Inuyasha spoke with Miroku about dinner preparations. By the next morning, Kagome and Sango had talked the younger woman into staying with them.
The group continued to follow Naraku's scent west, traveling parallel with Sesshoumaru's border. Himeko was extremely helpful in tight spots and Inuyasha was grumbling about how she jumped the gun so much. Kagome had to stifle her laughter at his comment. Himeko was so much like him that it bothered Inuyasha.
On the fourth night, they stopped a few hours before dusk to set up their small camp. Kagome, Shippou, and Himeko went to collect small berries around the camp while Miroku and Sango hauled water from the river and Inuyasha hunted their main course. Once everyone had gathered back at the site, the chatter was lively as, over the days, Kagome managed to get Himeko interacting more with the others. The girls shared a new joke with Sango, ignoring the scowling inu-demon.
Inuyasha's eyes kept drifting back to Kagome's smiling face. Even though he knew it was hard on Kagome, he was happy to see her energetic again. Naraku had targeted her; they all knew it. Kagome couldn't be left alone for fear of her being overwhelmed. Less than two hours later, everyone's bellies were full and his whole body felt like it was knotting up. Inuyasha had to force himself not to jump up. He gestured for Miroku to follow him before whispering something to Kagome and disappearing into the trees and night. Miroku waited until Kagome was speaking with Himeko before he followed the hanyou's led.
Himeko had suggested that they all take a warm bath and relax in the hot spring that was less than a hundred yards away. Kagome was elated when she realized the prospect of a hot bath and began to help Himeko with the tea. Several minutes passed before Kagome noticed that neither Miroku nor Inuyasha had come back. Sango shrugged saying that Miroku mentioned using the bathroom too.
“Kagome would you like honey in your tea?” Himeko asked from beside the fire.
“Uh, ah, yes, please,” she smiled.
Himeko laughed at the distracted woman. “I think you two should get ready for the hot spring. I can bring the tea down when it's finished.”
Kagome smiled, nodding her agreement. “That sounds like a great idea. Thank you. I could use a hot bath right now.” She stooped by her bag and grabbed a smaller pastel blue one before following Sango down the path.
The woman's cold blue eyes narrowed as her gaze followed the duo until they were out of sight. She quickly reached for the cup Kagome had set aside for her tea, filled it with a small spoonful of ground ginger, then poured the boiling water into the container stirring it a few times until the leaves were dissolved. She then pulled out a small vial from a hidden pocket and uncorked the lid before pouring the entire amount into the glass, mixing it in with the tea.
Himeko stood and followed the trail to the hot spring where she found Kagome slowly bathing with her back to the path. She cleared her throat before she spoke. “Here's your tea. With a hot bath, it will definitely ease any troubles on your mind.”
“Thanks,” she replied as she took the cup and slowly sipped the hot beverage. “Hmm, it tastes delicious. Very sweet.”
“Thank you. Where's Sango?” she asked, looking around. She didn't want to place the other's tea near Kagome's in fear of a mix-up.
“Oh, I'm not sure. You didn't see her on the way from camp?” Himeko shook her head. “She should be back soon. You can set her tea over there,” she replied as she pointed to another rock several feet away.
Himeko's eyes followed Kagome's finger and saw that the woman had indeed left part of her clothing. It was clear she intended to return.
The clank of the cup on the rock brought back Kagome's attention. “Aren't you getting in? It feels great.” She sighed in example.
“I just have to go get my things. I'll be right back,” Himeko motioned to the camp and set off. She had to give him a window, and now was perfect since she was alone.
-*-*-*-
The nauseating odor of Naraku had caught the lord’s attention, and only served to fuel his already explosive anger. 'How dare that pathetic excuse of a hanyou think that he could just cut across my lands.'
Sesshoumaru did admit that it was unusual for the half demon to be so careless, but there was a very small chance that it was even the real Naraku. And his reasons were merely the selfish need to vent his frustrations out on something or somebody else.
The lord was so wrapped up in his thoughts that the sudden smell of the hot spring mixed with the scent of lotus flowers hit him harder than one would expect and overwhelmed the miasmic aroma. It aroused his curiosity. His pace slowed and instinct kicked in as he followed his nose. A small clearing came into view. Large rocks and steam bordered the surrounding water leaving a few small, almost hidden, paths into the steaming liquid.
As he started around the brush, he stilled. Partially hidden from her sight, he saw the bathing woman. The water covered her from the waist down as she scrubbed her arms. She was half turned as he could see the side of her breast and curve of her hips before she dipped down to let the water rinse her pink flesh. Sesshoumaru was mesmerized, his golden eyes were fixated on the raven-haired female.
She stood and faced his direction. He could see how perfect she was as she moved to the nearest rock to reach for a cup, bringing it to her lips and drinking the last of the beverage. A small drop escaped her mouth and fell on her left breast, followed the curved slope then dangled from the tiny flushed peak before finally mixing with the spring waters.
Before he knew it, she was pulling her hair from the bun and submerging herself again, completely wetting the ebony mane. The lord watched as Kagome washed her hair, entirely fascinated in her movements and actions. He waited until she was done before moving to the edge of the spring to draw her attention. “Woman.”
The surprise and tone of his voice startled her. Kagome turned instantly recognizing the owner and immediately dipped into the water to hide her naked flesh. “S-Sesshoumaru!? What are you doing here?”
The sky darkened and echoes of laughter could be heard around them. Kagome moved in a desperate attempt to grab her clothes as Naraku appeared in her path. Before the hanyou had a chance to snatch the woman, Sesshoumaru was between them. Unprepared and open, the lord landed a single blow, knocking Naraku back several feet. In that split second, he turned to grab a wet Kagome, instantly wrapping Mokomoko around her for cover before fleeing.
Sesshoumaru was immediately conscious of the drenched body in his arms. Of the still warm water soaking into his kimono. Of how her hair smelled like lotus' in bloom on a summer night. He gritted his teeth and chastised himself over such thoughts.
Kagome began to feel dizzy. Her head was spinning and her heart was beating so loud that her ears were beginning to hurt. She grabbed a handful of the kimono at his waist and buried herself in his hold, trying to stop the world from spinning. Slowly, all of the uncomfortableness faded. The smell and feel of Sesshoumaru, just being by his side, all of him made her feel at peace. She snuggled closer, despite the chest plate, and told herself it was because of her slight shaking.
By the time they stopped, her tremors were bordering on the violent and she was suddenly conscious of being indoors. She wasn't sure where she was but it was out of the cool spring night air, and for that she was grateful.
Sesshoumaru set her down on the stone floor, making sure she had her footing before leading her over to the side of the bed. He turned and grabbed the nearest blanket at the foot, wrapping it around a shivering Kagome as Mokomoko fell, slowly caressing her skin.
“I-I d-don't know what's-s wr-wrong wit-th me-e-e,” she managed through chattering teeth. She stole a glance, grateful for his silence before she noticed her fingers were still gripping, and caressing, the silk at his forearms. Kagome suddenly felt very uncomfortable being so close and so unclothed. And continuing to touch him in a suggestive manner. Her hands jerked up and she blushed horribly as the demon lord walked away. A slender palm flew to cover her reddening cheek and, despite herself, she still couldn't stop herself from speaking. “Sesshoumaru, would it be okay if I were to stay the night here before you take me back to Inuyasha tomorrow?” At least she had warmed up.
He stopped, sparing her a glance before turning completely around and heading back toward her. Her skin had become redder and there was a chance that she was given something to make her sick. “I will agree to those terms but you shall answer a few questions first.” She swallowed hard and nodded. “I am interested in what Naraku wants from you.”
“I'm not sure. It's not like he's asked me or anything.” She took a fleeting glimpse around the room, still not quite sure of her temporary residence. “He's been doing this for a while, but it's always a puppet. He never comes himself. I thought he was just messing with Inuyasha.”
“Then where was my incompetent brother during this attack, or that demon-slayer?” His golden eyes peered down at her, piercing her. Her brief silence was a signal for his continuation. “You should know that it is dangerous to bathe alone in such a situation.”
“I don't know where Inuyasha was but I wasn't alone,” she spoke up defensively. “Sango and Himeko stayed behind with me. We were actually going to bathe together.” 'They take turns guarding me. Except Inuyasha,' she thought begrudgingly. Suddenly a light bulb went off inside Kagome's head – Himeko. 'Oh God.' “Oh god, Himeko. I hope that she's okay.”
“Himeko?” Sesshoumaru repeated as he watched her carefully. Something was wrong. Naraku had already gotten to her.
“Sorry,” she shook her head, “uh, she's also a victim of Naraku and is seeking revenge. She's been with us for a while now.”
“Then why wasn't she with you while you were bathing?” Had this Himeko assisted Naraku with the intent to kidnap the human priestess?
“Uh,” her forehead wrinkled as she became baffled. “If I remember correctly,” she began before stopping. Kagome couldn't clearly remember.
Sesshoumaru continued. “What prevented you from sensing the puppet's presence?” He had pinned her again. He realized he really wanted to know what she had been drinking. And what it was that filled the area, strongly overwhelming Naraku's presence.
Kagome could only blink at him as confusion crossed her beautiful features again. 'He can change gears so quickly, but I didn't even think of that. Why didn't I sense him coming?' She rested her head against her hand as she half sat and leaned against the mattress.
“What were you drinking?” he asked as he took another step toward her.
She looked up at him and spoke, “When?”
“While you were bathing.”
Shock and embarrassment grabbed at Kagome's limbs and she shifted her weight more heavily on the side of the bed and frame. “We-Were you watching me?” she managed to whisper out, shocked.
“Just answer the question,” he growled though he heard a hint of amusement in her voice.
She stumbled but regained her balance before continuing. “I'm not sure,” she spoke. “Himeko made it saying that it would relax me. It was delicious.”
She smiled faintly as he took a hold of her shoulders. “You do not look too worried or upset over your attempted abduction.”
Kagome began shaking her head, “No, I'm just-- I feel a little, um, uneasy.” She wobbled a little and caught herself as Sesshoumaru drew closer.
“I understand,” he nodded. Her behavior was making him wary.
“Please let me stay here tonight. I just need to lie down for a while.” Her voice was barely above a whisper and her eyes were hazing over. It appeared to be a drugging, but what type and for what purpose?
“You do not wish to return to Inuyasha tonight?” She hesitated and he could see the flicker in her eyes. She shook her head and began to reach for him before she passed out, falling into his arms. The demon sighed as he laid her down and pulled the covers over her. He spared a swift glance before leaving to call his healers. Sesshoumaru was interested in what Naraku had Kagome consume.
Many hours had passed before the healers that had gathered around the lord's bed began to file out. Sesshoumaru could only give a discontented sigh. They had gathered as many clues as they could but nothing gave them a solid answer. In the end, they were forced to wait until Kagome woke.
Sesshoumaru nodded, dismissing them before he returned to the bedside. He watched her for several minutes before the woman stirred. He moved closer. “Kagome,” he spoke softly as he reached for her hand. She wanted to say something. He angled his head, giving his ear a clearer path. He wanted to hear her.
“Sesshou... maru,” she muttered before passing back out.
His eyes moved to stare into her face. Serene, perfect, and beautiful. Yes, he would wait and ask her. But he would get his answers.
-*-*-*-
Kagome's eyes fluttered open and met with the bright light that was pouring in from the half-open drapes. She pulled the sheets up to her nose, covered her eyes with her arm, and groaned. The faint headache was quickly fading and she recalled that there was something of importance that she needed to be doing. The sound of the opening door caught her attention, causing her to tip-toe around the corner to peek at her visitor. The important matter was forgotten and everything else faded as though it didn't matter as much as the being in front of her. “Sesshoumaru.”
He briefly nodded as he walked past her to sit the tray down on the mattress. “I brought food. It's past one already.” He watched her actions as she straightened herself. She seemed normal enough to him.
Her eyes focused on the food before they rose to meet his. “Sesshoumaru, I would like to speak with you.”
“You should eat first,” he interrupted and walked toward the door. “I will send some proper clothing. After you are dressed we will speak.”
She nodded as the door clicked close leaving her alone again, and still confused. Kagome sat and ate hungrily, grateful for the one of the most delicious breakfasts she had eaten in a long time. Spotting a basin, she approached it to wash her face, helping to rinse away any remnants of sleep. The click sounded again and the woman met the dresser in the main room.
It was an unusual experience for Kagome since she was not accustomed to wearing the traditional kimonos and so needed the help. The green-dyed silk of the outer robe seemed to bring her color out more. The embroidered white and pink cherry blossoms that adorned the gown were very intricate. Even the white obi was of a finer silk. Her hair was simply pulled back away from her face and secured with four straight hairpins with hanging jewels.
With Sesshoumaru's instructions, Kagome followed her outside to the gardens where she met Rin waiting. The little girl triggered a memory in the woman and her thoughts began to cloud before the demon appeared by her side. Her heart jumped and she felt her nerves twitch.
He turned to dismiss the woman. She retreated as the child began talking about all the flowers she found that she wanted to show him. Kagome was intrigued and watched as he gave her permission to pick them before she scurried off. She smiled as she tilted her head. “I have a strange feeling that I know her.”
He glanced over at her and an unfamiliar awareness pulled at him. He only nodded and replied, “Her name is Rin and, yes, you have met her before.” Sesshoumaru noticed her eyes glaze over and sensed her confusion again. Whatever she was given, it was clear that it had blocked out her memories.
“Then, why did I say that? Why did I say I know you hate humans?” she asked. Her memories were fading in and out. It was hard to discern fact from fantasy. There were some things that she was so sure about, while there were things that she was... fuzzy on. Like the little girl, Rin. And that 'something important' she couldn't quite remember.
He placed a hand on her forehead, then let it fall to her cheek, not sure where this gentle nature in him was coming from. “Don't force it. You memories will come back slowly, on their own.”
She smiled. Her heart was exploding in her chest. She had to tell him. Kagome couldn't seem to restrain herself. “Sesshoumaru, I want-”
He quickly cut her words off. “Do not say anything that you will regret later. Your mind is still confused. Come,” he spoke as he stood, “let's join Rin.”
Kagome dismissed his statement as he pulled her down the hill. The rest of the day flew by and by the time she realized it, one of Sesshoumaru's maids was whisking her off to bed. Her nerves went crazy as she had waited all day for a chance alone with Sesshoumaru. She just preferred him to know. Maybe he could shed more light on her confusion. She only wanted to speak briefly. Kagome was convinced that once Rin was in bed, she would have those precious moments with him. 'I want to tell him that I want to be by his side.' She had not felt anything like this before, wasn't even sure where it had come from.
He called her name, startling her out of her thoughts. “Come this way,” he gestured. She nodded and followed him as he retreated the opposite way into a room. By the time she had filled the doorway, he was standing by another door and motioned her in. “Change and then you may return here.”
Kagome nodded as he slid the door shut between them. She moved slowly in the dimly lit space, letting her eyes adjust until she saw the bed and what had been laid out to change into. The woman quickly slipped out of her clothes and into the provided garment. When she returned, she found Sesshoumaru waiting with two wine cups.
The demon turned when she entered and held one of the partially full glasses to her. “Drink this before bed.”
She was still a moment before nervously moving to retrieve the wine from his grasp. “What is it?”
“Something to help you sleep,” he replied as he nodded before drinking from his glass. He needed his to subdue the desires his beast. Though it was hard to say that he also had his own cravings.
She dipped her head before slowly tasting the liquid, surprised to find it honeyed. “Hmm, it's very sweet.” Without reply, he sat his empty glass on the table before heading into the room she had just exited.
Kagome glanced at her goblet in comparison to his before swiftly depleting it. Finished, she placed the chalice beside his then turned to follow Sesshoumaru into the bedroom. After three steps, the world began to spin and Kagome stumbled into the lord, who was just inside the threshold. She caught a faint chuckle as blue eyes tried to focus on his face. She felt his arm around her waist to steady her. “I guess I over did it a little.” She smiled at how his eyes seemed to light up for a split second. “Sesshoumaru...”
He turned to close the door before picking her up. “Let's get you to bed.”
She smiled and closed her eyes, letting her head rest against his chest until the cold sheets and soft mattress jarred her out of her drunken daze. Her groggy eyes opened to see him moving away. With quick hands, Kagome latched onto his silk robe. “Sesshoumaru, don't leave.”
“I was only turning out the light.” He moved to cut the lantern off, letting the room drown in darkness, before coming back to the bed. He could feel Kagome's shivering form before his body hit the mattress. Instinctively, he pulled her closer. Sesshoumaru was happy that he had decided to put her to sleep because he couldn't take her throwing herself at him. 'And especially in such a thin hiyoku.'
Even though he knew that she was under a powerful spell, he refused to take advantage of the situation. He didn't want to take advantage of Kagome either. Her gentle breathing filled his ears. 'Inuyasha's wench.' Yes, he wouldn't take advantage of an unconscious woman. 'This Sesshoumaru is not that low.'
The demon laid awake for several hours, more than content to listen to Kagome's breath entering and exiting her body. Every now and then, he heard her murmur. He felt contentment every time her lungs expanded for air. He felt contentment to feel her beating heart as it pumped precious blood through her veins. Sesshoumaru never knew he could feel that content. He also never knew when he had fallen asleep under the raven-haired maiden.
His dreams of watching her from afar had turned into something more intimate as he began to tear Kagome's clothes off, and her pleading moans only excited him. He ran his hands down her back to come up and cup both breasts, fondling her nipples with his fingers a he devoured her mouth, and whatever else he desired. The feel and smell of her skin was scorched into his mind. He could feel warm hands gently stroking him, teasing him. Then suddenly everything went into a hot wet fury.
Sesshoumaru's eyes flew open as the rhythm continued on at a slightly faster pace. His dreams suddenly shattered. He looked down to see his robe open and Kagome greedily sucking on him. His eyes rolled back in his head as Sesshoumaru forced himself to sit up and literally pull Kagome off of his erection.
His wet dream had seemingly turned into reality, and he knew the moment he woke that it wasn't going to be something he would be able to, or could, control. She had driven him to the edge and his desire of her had become something that he could not predict. In this moment, Sesshoumaru wanted nothing more than to take her for himself, but the nagging feeling of guilt weighed at his heart, and, in the end, he could do nothing but turn away from his own sexual desires. He knew the potential dangers of such a concoction and never desired to make Kagome his in a such a fashion. He had more pride than Naraku. There were strings attached to him and if they slept together, Kagome couldn't back out of it.
Kagome's shocked expression hurt him as well. He could see the quiet doubt begin to roll in. and brushed the thoughts away with a crushing kiss. 'I will make sure that, even of she doesn't remember, it will be the most pleasurable time in her life.'
His weight caused them to topple over and Sesshoumaru took the opportunity to quickly untie her robe, slipping one hand under her panties while the other held her wrists above her head. Quick fingers found her sensitive spot and circled teasingly before sliding into her. She was wet and her moan fueled him on. But the demon had to remember to keep a hold on himself.
He broke the kiss, golden eyes trained on the woman wiggling under him. She was so feisty, and actually fighting him. Deciding to push her, he smiled slightly as a third finger found her slick nub and feverishly stroked while his tongue flicked then sucked her right nipple.
Kagome moaned uncontrollably as he switched to her left breast. “Sesshoumaru.” She could feel herself going to explode and was desperately wanting her legs free from his weight, trying to squirm out from under him. He was teasing her so much that he wanted nothing more than to thrash around. She could feel the edge, but he refused to let her fall. “Sess...hou...ahhh...maru...” she moaned, trying to convey her need.
A wicked smile crossed his features as Sesshoumaru stopped his assault to look into her face. His hand never faltered, only slowed to prolong her ecstasy. Her beauty caught his breath. He had never seen her like this before, so exposed. He licked his lips, dropping to her left ear to run his tongue lightly across her flesh, letting his hot breath send shivers down her as he spoke. “I’m not done with you yet.”
Sesshoumaru could feel Kagome’s nipples on his chest as he slowly slid down, releasing her hands while removing the wet undergarment. His fingers lightly played with her as he lingered on the swell of her breast, using his teeth to nip here and there. Kagome entwined her fingers in his hair, encouraging him to continue his exploration.
Sesshoumaru nipped his way past her belly button as his bites went over the hip then to the inner thigh and up. Her scent filled his nose and he didn't hesitate a taste to see if her sweet smell was a lie. His tongue slowly ran along her wet folds, and with each pass he teased her open, finally dipping in and out. While one hand played with a breast, the other aided his mouth. Sesshoumaru was lost in devouring her in her moment of bliss. She tasted like a honey-kissed kinmokusei.
After the last bits of the drugged wine, mixed with their unexpected pleasure, put Kagome to sleep, he was allowed to leave her side to seek satisfaction that didn’t come with a high price.
-*-*-*-
Kagome awoke late that morning to a distant Sesshoumaru beside her. Her cheerful good morning was met with a nod as he quickly dressed himself. “Sesshoumaru, is something wrong?” she asked as he finished and headed for the door.
“No, I just have a lot of work to do today. Rin will keep you company,” he said as the door shut behind him. Once in his study, Sesshoumaru realized what was wrong, why he had been so cold to her. It was the third day. The last day she would be under the spell. And if he didn’t take her while she was under the influence, then their time together would be lost. Instead, her mind would be filled with Inuyasha and the possibility of losing her forever became crystal clear. 'Who would have thought that three days would have done this to me?' The least he could do was make it as painless for Kagome as possible. He had a busy day planned for her, and he was sure Rin and Jaken could keep her preoccupied. The problem was getting his mind off her.
Unable to concentrate, he took a break an hour before lunch, wondering into the back of the castle where Rin could be seen playing in the gardens. He stood inside the large study watching as Kagome interacted with Rin. After five minutes, he was disgusted with himself and retreated back to his office to work.
At the sound of the lunch bell, Kagome and Rin filed into the kitchen, ready to help take plates out to the large table. Half-way through the preparations, the lord entered and immediately took his seat. They locked eyes and Kagome smiled but he turned away and avoided her gaze.
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