The Screaming | By : GodOfInsanity Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > Sessh?maru/Naraku > Sessh?maru/Naraku Views: 1869 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story. |
By: God of Insanity
Warning(s): NC-17,Death, Funeral, Yaoi M/M, LEMON, Anal, Oral, Implied Incest, Fluffyness, Angst...and all the good stuff.
Pairing(s): NICENaraku/SesshoumarUKE, InuTaishou/Sesshoumaru(Implied)
Summary: Sesshoumaru's father is dead, or is he? Even in death, he haunts those he's wronged. WARNING: For MATURE readers ONLY
A/N: This is for a friend of mine, who has suffered from the passing of a relative. I just wanted to write something to make her feel a bit better since my stories always make her feel good.
I actually have another update for Ini-Herit and a new story called “The Spider and The Fly”. I always update Fanfiction.net first because formatting is so much easier and some people on that website actually give me some feedback. SO…if you don’t want me to wait to update affnet, you can always go on ff.net to read them. As always, I would love to hear from my readers. And those who have taken at least a little time to let me know what they think, thank you.
Note: The Screaming is MY original poem. It was written February of 2009. I have it submitted on my bbeb account on deviantart, so no stealing. . It’s copyrighted. Nyah Nyah.
Disclaimer(s): I do not own InuYasha or any of the characters except for my own ideas and characters. I make no profit whatsoever from Rumiko's work. All I own is the poem "The Screaming" which is under copy right on deviantart on my bbeb account, so no stealing, people.
Like an old faded name
One that’s never quite the same
I can’t remember, I won’t remember
Cuz’ it was never worth it
Like the promise of tomorrow
And the glass roses smashed
Like the sense of what was real
It’s all over, yet it lingers
You want it to remain
Just like the lie of your eyes
Still shakes me deep inside
The ears that never ever listen
Cuts twin lines down my face
Everything has run together
Who did what and why
It doesn’t even matter
Or maybe I just miss the
little snippets of something special
Maybe I just miss the “old me”
The one that knew of nothing
Before you all raped and degraded me
And now she’s buried somewhere dead or alive
Wondering...why.
The rain drizzled down like gentle tears upon everyone at first, but then after a few minutes or so it mercilessly pattered harder almost violently. Most had had the foresight to bring umbrellas with them and the ones that had not, simply shared with someone that had one. Despite that, everyone still got soaked from the unpleasant, ice cold rain, yet no one seemed to notice.
The day was as bleak as the cloud ridden sky, grey and barren without the sun to ease the sorrow. It seemed the dreary atmosphere only served to encourage all the ill feelings that stirred in the cold blowing wind.
And the sole cause of the pain was the casket lying in the six-feet deep hole in the ground.
A beautiful man with long flowing silver hair and steely amber eyes stood stock still next to his slightly younger brother who bore a similar appearance. They were both grown, and as similar as they looked, they had their differences. One had pointy ears, the other had dog ears. One had pale skin, the other had tanned skin. The list could go on and on, but the one thing that they both shared in common was that they were not crying.
Sesshoumaru looked indifferent and bored, as if he didn't want to be bothered with the Funeral service. His brother, InuYasha, looked downright pissed. He was very, very angry.
"He doesn't deserve to have this much sympathy. The rat bastard doesn't even deserve pity. Not at all. Not for all he has done." InuYasha growled under his breath to his stoic brother.
Sesshoumaru said nothing and continued to stare at nothing in particular. He didn't look as if he were feeling anything, but the truth was, so many mixed emotions were running through his system that he almost felt numb from it.
The hanyou glanced across from him and saw a woman glaring openly at him. It was Touga's wife. Some young human wench that had barely been married to the demon for a year. She hadn't heard what he had said, but there was hate in her swollen eyes. InuYasha glared back with his, 'I'll fuck you up, bitch' glare. The woman quickly averted her eyes and coughed.
The youkai didn't hear the words that came from the pastor's lips nor did he hear the patter of the rain. Nor did he hear all the weeping and sobbing. If he had, he probably would have been disgusted. Instead, all he saw and heard were many moments from his past. Most of them were horrible, traumatic events that he had suppressed for many years. Only ever in his nightmares did they ever come out to haunt him.
But now, even though the great Inu no Taishou was dead, Sesshoumaru could not stop the memories from torturing his weary mind.
"...and even though the passing of our beloved saddens us greatly..."
"Do you like it when I hit you, boy? If you didn't, you wouldn't misbehave like you do. I think it's time I punish you with more than just a little slap..."
"...and let us not judge what has happened in the past, for all should be forgiven..."
"So tight. You always feel so much tighter and better than any goddamn woman I ever fuck. Stop fucking crying! The more you cry, the more I will hurt you. Don't you ever forget that, boy."
"...and it is in God's love that we know our loved one loved us and we should always remember that love that sustained us through good times and bad..."
"Stupid cock whore. No one will ever love you. Nobody except for your dear, merciful daddy. You don't deserve anything other than punishment, yet I give you love, as well. You should get on your knees and thank me with your mouth. Do it. Now!"
"...and we must never forget all the good things that he has done for us all nor should we forget every kind word. We must always remember..."
"You are mine. My unworthy firstborn son. My little bitch. My whore. You belong to me only and you will never belong to anyone else. If you ever tell anyone about any of this, I will make you watch your brother slowly die before your eyes. But I won't kill you. You will live knowing that you killed him. You are mine, you little cunt. You will always belong to me. Remember that forever, Sesshoumaru."
Sesshoumaru gasped under his breath, his body trembling underneath his black suit. His body was tense, his insides twisted and his empty stomach churned to the point that he wanted to vomit bile.
The more the minister talked, the more the memories assaulted him. He was about to turn and run away until he felt a slightly bigger, yet warm hand slip into his own cold, clammy hand. He looked to his right in surprise and saw his lover staring back at him with knowing crimson eyes.
"Naraku...I thought you said-" Sesshoumaru whispered, but stopped in the middle of his sentence when a finger pressed itself to his lips.
"Sssh, forget what I said. I didn't want you to endure this alone."
InuYasha glanced at them and rolled his eyes. As much as he had always severely disliked Naraku, he could not deny that Naraku was what his brother needed. It had taken some time, but he had accepted their relationship when Naraku had proven himself worthy of his brother. Course, if the bastard ever hurt his big brother, there would be hell to pay in the form of InuYasha's ten deadly claws.
Sesshoumaru curled his fingers around Naraku's hand and it was in that small comfort that he felt he could make it through the awful funeral. There were two men standing at his side that loved him for whatever reasons and it was in their presence that everything didn't seem so bad.
Naraku narrowed his eyes when he caught Touga's wife staring at him and Sesshoumaru. She didn't miss the fact that the two men were holding hands in public. It repulsed her and she didn't hide the feelings on her pallid, tear-streaked face.
Naraku gazed back coolly at her and immediately removed his hand from Sesshoumaru's. Her face brightened in victory until she saw the kumo slip his arm around the inu's lithe waist and pull him closer. He held the Sesshoumaru close to his body, both of his arms wrapped around the shorter youkai in a loving, comforting embrace. He kissed the top of the dog's head and smirked at the stupefied woman.
"You are being an ass." Sesshoumaru murmured into Naraku's chest, his head tucked under the kumo's chin. Despite what he had said, Naraku knew his love was pleased with his actions. The kumo was comfortable with his own sexuality and was not shy or embarrassed to show how he felt for the other man. If people wanted to gawk at them with repulsion, interest, envy, curiosity, hate, and whatever else people tended to feel, it didn't bother him. All he cared about was what Sesshoumaru was comfortable with and if their relationship bothered other people, he didn't give one damn. They didn't matter. All that mattered was Sesshoumaru.
"True, but I'm your ass."
InuYasha grunted and stared at his deceased father's wife once more. He noticed her crestfallen face and then he glanced at his brother and Naraku. With a smug smirk, he whispered, "You know, the only reason that whore is crying is because that asshole didn't leave her anything but that old, decrepit house. I guess this means she has to marry some other rich guy or...you know...get a job."
"How do you know that?" Naraku asked, knowing that Sesshoumaru wouldn't ask even though the inu was curious as well.
"Feh, the old man's attorney let me read the will. In fact, he had insisted that I read it, so I did." InuYasha explained and then shrugged as if it wasn't anything significant. He looked as if he wanted to change the subject.
Naraku rubbed Sesshoumaru's back to keep him more calm when he inquired, "What did it say?"
InuYasha glanced at the silent Sesshoumaru, then grimaced. "Eh, I'd rather not say. Just a bunch of bullshit. I don't think the old fucker was in his right mind when he had that will written. I really don't think any of us should go to that meeting when the lawyer reads the will."
"What do you think, Sesshoumaru? Do you think we should go?" Naraku asked, looking down at the quiet demon.
"I don't want to go. I don't care if you guys go to it. But after this funeral, I'm done." Sesshoumaru answered in a voice so quiet that both demons had to strain to hear him.
"All right, we won't go." Naraku murmured, still massaging the inu's tense back. He could feel his lover's muscles were tight and strained. He'd have to loosen them whenever they went home. "Oh, and Sesshoumaru, I took a couple of weeks off from work. So you better expect to be pampered day and night at all hours."
A blush tinged Sesshoumaru's porcelain cheeks and he buried his face in his boyfriend's chest to hide it.
For what seemed like an eternity, the boring Funeral finally ended and everyone started to go back to their cars.
Touga's wife stalked over to the brothers and without warning, raised her hand and attempted to strike Sesshoumaru, but Naraku caught her hand before it could hit his target.
"If you touch him, I will put you in the grave with your deadbeat, rotting husband." Naraku drawled smoothly, the threat clear in his solemn voice.
"I just want to know one thing, Sesshoumaru," The late Inu Taishou's wife, demanded. She was scared of the spider demon, but that didn't deter her from getting answers. "Why did you turn your back on your father? He wanted to see you, but you denied him that! What kind of son are you?"
Sesshoumaru raised one eyebrow and didn't look the least bit fazed. In a low voice, he asked, "Whenever he fucked you, did he fall asleep immediately after? Was his eyes always closed?"
The color completely drained from Touga's wife and the answer to the inu's questions were evident in the woman's wide eyes.
"I see. Ever wonder why? It's because he pretended that you were me. Whenever he fucked me, he never fell asleep after. He was always eager for more. And his eyes were always open, watching me. I hope that answered all your questions. Goodbye." Sesshoumaru hissed, then turned away from her and walked seemingly effortlessly to the car even though he wanted to fall to his knees and weep.
Naraku followed Sesshoumaru the moment he left and didn't even spare the gaping woman another glance.
InuYasha looked at her and shook his head. The hanyou then muttered, "You just couldn't keep your trap shut, eh lady? Your husband was a monster. He was one sick fucker. He beat and raped my brother all of his life and dear old dad beat me up whenever I tried to defend my own brother. In fact, my brother almost died by that bastard's hands. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you satisfied now, huh?"
The woman couldn't utter a word except for a strangled noise. Her eyes were wide from shock and disbelief.
"I hate him. I hate him for all he's done. My brother has lived in fear all of his life. Even though Sesshoumaru is a grown man, he still feared that bastard would try to find him. But he's dead now. Amen to that, honey. We'll all forgive that demon someday because we have to move on...but we'll always hate the monster that he was. The damage has been done. It will never go away. It will always be more than just a bad dream." InuYasha spat and with those last seething words, he walked away to his own car.
As InuYasha drove away, he felt a little bit sad. For the first five years of his life and first ten years of Sesshoumaru's life, their father had been a father. There was some good memories. But then things changed and over time, it got much worse. Had the good times been real? Or were they just a mere illusion from traumatized children?
InuYasha had so many questions. So many questions he had wanted to ask. But no one could answer them now. Even if Touga were alive, his answers, if he gave any, would not have any merit.
InuYasha gripped the wheel and gritted his teeth. He wasn't sure he could ever forgive that demon. Would the anger ever dissipate? Would every horrific memory fade away into nothingness?
Would there be a second chance at happiness for them all? Perhaps forgiveness could give them all that.
But only time would tell.
Sesshoumaru lay in Naraku's arms, dozing slightly. Even when they slept on their respective sides without clinging to one another, the inu would still wake up on top of the kumo or snuggled up to Naraku's side. Perhaps his subconscious was trying to tell him something?
Wonderful, warm hands slid under his shirt and worked the muscles in his back. They kneaded each muscle until he became pretty much nothing put putty. Years ago, just being touched in this way would have freaked him out.
"Naraku?"
The inu youkai sighed and nuzzled the other man's neck. "Yes?"
"Thanks...for everything."
Naraku smiled, "No need to thank me. Your love is enough."
Sesshoumaru sat up until he was straddling the half-dressed demon. "No...I don't think it is."
The kumo stared up at him, his large hands slowly ran up and down the inu's naked thighs in a sensual caress. "Just what are you getting at, silly?"
Sesshoumaru sighed and looked at anything but the spider's handsome face. "We've been together for three years now, well, eight years if you consider the five years you spent pursuing me."
"Yeah, so?" Naraku trailed one of his hands under Sesshoumaru's pajama top and drew indistinct little patterns on the dog's stomach abs with the tips of his fingers.
The silver haired man closed his eyes and his muscled twitched from the other man's teasing touch. "We have never slept together."
"Sure we have. We sleep together all the time, lovely."
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. "No, not that. I mean...we've never went farther than making out."
Naraku sighed, sat up and hugged the other male close to his body. He kissed him on the lips and then looked him in the eyes. "If I just wanted you for your body, I would have given up years ago, Sesshoumaru. I'm not going to push you into anything you're not ready for. Ever."
Sesshoumaru bit his bottom lip, which was a habit the kumo always thought was cute. "What if I'm never ready?"
"Then you are never ready."
"I wouldn't want to be with someone like me."
"I'm glad, because I would rather you be with me than with someone like you." Naraku joked and chuckled when the inu glared at him.
"I'm being serious, dammit."
"Oh? So am I."
The golden-eyed demon regarded him with saddened eyes. "Why do you stay with me knowing I may never sleep with you?"
"Because I love you. I chased after you for five years because I fell for you. The moment I met you, I didn't want anyone else. I haven't slept with anyone for eight years, Sesshoumaru. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have been celibate for even half that long."
"Why do you love me?"
Naraku brushed the backs of his fingers against the side of the dog's gorgeous face. "I don't know specifically. But I know I love you for all the little things and the big things. You're smart, beautiful, sensitive, sexy, caring, and so many other things. I see the things others don't see in you and in a way, I like that. You're my little secret...because nobody else knows how wonderful you are, except for me.
And I want to be with you for as long as you allow me to be. Sex is just sex. But love, that is something I won't find anywhere else. Don't get me wrong, I would love to make love to you, but as long as you're with me, it's enough."
"That's just...we're just friends then. You deserve so much better. You deserve someone who can do the thing that lovers do." Sesshoumaru murmured, hating himself for being the worst boyfriend.
Naraku raised an eyebrow. "Where is this coming from, all of a sudden?"
"You're not him. Your hands are warm and you don't dig them into my flesh. Your mouth...is sweet and does things to me I have never felt before..." Sesshoumaru trailed, off, but then after a short pause, continued, "At first, I thought you were him. That's why I didn't want to be with you. But eventually all the little things you did for me added up. Over time, I realized you were and are nothing like him. And because of that, and your patience, and love, and understanding, these past three years...make the bad dreams not seem so real anymore."
"And here I thought I was the emotional one..." Naraku commented and laughed when he received a smack on his chest. "All right, all right. I'm serious now. See? I have my serious face on. Now tell me what you're getting at."
"I...I want to try doing some things with you soon. Not tonight, though. How about tomorrow?" Sesshoumaru inquired, his head cocked to the side almost like a dog.
"That's fine with me. Whenever you are ready, just tell me. Or...jump me." Said the kumo before he cupped Sesshoumaru's face in his hands and gave him the long kiss goodnight.
And for that entire night, Sesshoumaru slept peacefully in Naraku's arms...without bad dreams.
A/N: To be Continued...methinks...one more chapter? Some feedback would be GREAT.
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