Final Mistake | By : Teneka Category: InuYasha > General Views: 1462 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha nor do I own the song Schizophrenic Conversations; that is owned by the awesome band: Staind.I thought it was obvious that I do not making any money for writing this story but apparently I would be mistaking. For non-profit only! |
Final Mistake
Edited and beta approved
By Shy Anime aka Shyneamor
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha nor do I own the song Schizophrenic Conversations; that is owned by the awesome band: Staind.
A mistake too great to forgive, InuYasha loses the only woman who ever loved him for who he was. What will InuYasha do to cope? This is a music fic; lyrics by Staind.
A/N: This is my first attempt to a music fic so please leave me your thoughts. I see more chapters for this fic in the future but that all depends on you guys.
Schizophrenic Conversation
By
Staind
Are you afraid, afraid of the truth,
in the mirror staring back at you…
Glaring troubled eyes at the image of his reflection, InuYasha raked his hands through his thick tresses in frustration. Amber eyes roamed his still form as he pondered his fate, internally debating whether or not he should end his sorry excuse for an existence. His heart was pounding against the steel of his chest, while trembling hands moved to reach for the small razor-sharp blade resting on the edge of his bathroom sink.
The image is cracked but so is the view here…
Glancing up as though seeing himself for the very first time, he studied his reflection through the crack in the mirror, the same crack he had put there just the night before when he received the news that would change his life forever. His fist had connected with the fragile glass, cutting him deep in the process, and though the blood poured from his hand, the only pain he felt was in his heart.
…And the strength of a tree begins at the roots
That I tend to bury into you
At least now the storm can’t blow me away…
“She’s gone…she actually left me,” he mumbled in mild bewilderment, not liking the way the words felt against his tongue.
“What did you think she would do, you stupid bastard, especially when you take her for granted like that. . . Don’t even get me started on the other bitch you've let ruin our perfect situation…we had it all; a home, fancy cars, plenty of money and a beautiful woman who loves us for who we are, not to mention all the great sex…but you had to go fuck all of that up didn’t you…sometimes I don’t know why I even bother talking to you…
“…because you are me,” InuYasha informed his internal beast. “I wasn’t thinkin-
-YOU NEVER THINK, barked his beast cutting InuYasha off, you never think…DAMN YOU!
So crawl inside my head with me,.
I’ll show you how, it feels to be
To blame like me
No matter how many times, how many different ways he replayed the situation over and over again; the result was always the same. His precious little raven-haired angel had given up on him . . . . . after three years she finally left him.
It all started with a casual conversation. Him and his ex-lover were just sitting in a local bar, both sitting there for their own personal reasons. She said “hello” and he said “hi,” it was as simple as that, but then friendly conversation had turned into dancing, and dancing turned into kissing, and before he knew it he was back in the oh so familiar apartment of his ex-girlfriend, Kikyo. It had been eight weeks ago, and since that minor slip up InuYasha had dedicated himself to the love of his life and intended mate, Kagome. But that so-called minor slip up decided it necessary to call him up and smack him with the harsh reality of his fate.
{“I’m a what!”
“You are the father to my unborn child…”
But that can’t be…and what about Naraku, aren’t you two an item?”
“We had not been intimate during the time the child was conceived, he was out of town,” Kikyo drifted off, embarrassed by her whole predicament. Never before had she ever done anything so foolish in her life and the one time she’d let loose. . . . this is what happens, she is now pregnant with her ex-boyfriend’s baby and she’s yet to tell her current lover the news.
“S-So, what are your plans,” he asked hesitatingly, thinking about what he wanted engraved on his headstone after Kagome kills him.
“What do you think InuYasha; I wouldn’t have called you if I weren’t going to keep the child.”
“Of course not…”}
Drawing his hand from the tempting razorblade, he turned the knob on the sink instead, cupping his palms under the cool flow and splashing refreshing water against his fatigued face. Yet again his eyes were drawn back to his reflection.
Should I be afraid of the face that I see
In the mirror staring back at me
So cold are the days that I listened to you…
Why didn’t you listen…you knew she was fertile and yet you did nothing to protect us. I know it didn’t feel right…I was there, I could tell…but you still fucked her, knowing good and well she was taken and you dare call me weak. . . . your demon side…your beast!
…And you say that I’m weak show me the proof
Cause I still exist in spite of you
But I won’t compete with you every day…
I told you something wasn’t right, but you locked me up instead of listening to reason. You let my intended mate, your future wife walk out of our life…
“I’m sorry,” InuYasha hopelessly replied.
You are a sorry bastard if you think that your apology will be accepted…you did nothing to make Kagome want to stay in our life.
“I-I didn’t think she would leave. . . . especially when she didn’t lash out at me when I told her the news,” InuYasha pleaded.
So crawl inside my head with me
I’ll show you how, it feels to be,
To blame like me.
She was so calm; she just sat there on the edge of their bed not saying a word, not yelling, no fighting or even crying. Her only response was a timid, “I see.”
“I am so sorry Kagome…I never meant for any of this to happen. I wasn’t thinking and just got caught up. I had way too much to drink that night…Please Kagome, just say something,” he pleaded throwing himself into Kagome’s lap, hugging her legs while burying his head into her thighs.
“It is late…let’s just try to get some sleep, okay,” she said brushing the platinum of his hair from his face. “I am tired and have a long day ahead of me.”
And you fell for that!” InuYasha’s beast taunted. Of course you did…you even went to sleep like nothing happened, like you hadn’t betrayed the only woman, other than your mother, to truly love you even with your imperfections.
“I know but-
No buts InuYasha, you got to make this right…
I can’t, it is too late…I blew it for us-
You don’t know that…she’ll come around but you have to try…
'How? How could I after all I had put her though, not to mention all of the broken promises …she deserves better,' InuYasha sighed, casting his eyes to the razorblade that kept taunting him.
Schizophrenic conversations that
I’m always having with myself,
I hear these voices in my head competing
Maybe I could use a little help…
If you are not going to fight for her love, then maybe you should at least end my misery. Karma only knows why I’ve been assigned to you of all people…you are hardly worth my time…
…I still have Schizophrenic conversations when there’s
No one else around to hear
I long for solitude and peace within me
Void of all the anger and the fear…
“So you want me to kill myself,” InuYasha inquired grasping the tiny blade between his fingertips and positioning it between two vital veins at his wrist.
His only answer was a bitter silence.
“So after all this time, I finally discover how to shut you up,” he mocked.
Greeted with more silence.
So crawl inside my head with me
I’ll show you how it feels to be
Fucked up like me.
Sliding the blade across his wrist, InuYasha hissed in pain as blood began to trickle from the deep gash into the sink of running water.
“What the fuck are you doing man,” Miroku yelled after busting into his friends bathroom in full-out panic mode. He has been trying to contact InuYasha ever since he got the news with his morning paper but all of his calls went unanswered. Finally, after many failed attempts, he rushed over to the upper Tokyo condo but when he got there his knocks went unheard. Luckily, Miroku had a spare key. As soon as Miroku stepped foot into the condo he knew something was terribly wrong. The house had been trashed, furniture was broken, books off shelves, and clothes were all over the place. InuYasha was obviously not in his best state of mind if he felt the need to trash his own home. After searching room after room Miroku settled on the master bathroom as his last resort. The door was cracked, so he could see clearly what InuYasha was going to do, that's when he burst in like the police on a drug bust.
“InuYasha…come on man, don’t do this,” went the troubled voice of reason.
I’ll show you how it feels to be
To blame like me
Ashamed like me.
Much thanks go out to my new beta, Pink Lady, because without her I wouldn't have my fans. Thank you for reading and don't forget to thank my beta.
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