'Just Say Good-bye, Kagome'--Chp corruption fixed

BY : KanzenNeTsuki
Category: InuYasha > General
Dragon prints: 3076
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

A/N: My first IY fiction... really didn’t know what I wanted to write... and I was setting here one night listening to my “Queen” CD... and I got this idea...

All Standard Disclaimers Apply. I do not own the InuYasha Characters, nor do I recieve Monatary gains for this story. It is an original concept based on the characters of the anime owned by Takahashi Rumiko.


Just Say Good-bye, Kagome

“Pretty-boy, Inuyasha”


As he finished the last paragraph of his latest brief, Inuyasha gave a huge sigh of relief and quickly went through the steps required to save the document on his computer and then thankfully set the system to shut-down so he could go home.

“At last,” He sighed as he leaned back and stretched his arms above his head pulling the kinks out of his muscles and flexing the stiffness in his shoulders. “Time to go home.”

“Too bad your still going home to an empty house, eh little Brother?” Inuyasha looked up at the door to his office and caught the semi-pitying look of his older sibling, Sesshoumaro as he was walking by.

“Yeah... you got that right.” He mumbled as he pushed himself away from the heavy oak desk and stood up preparing to join the older man in the otherwise empty hallway.

“When is she supposed to be home anyway?” Sesshoumaro asked as his brother pulled on his black leather trench and locked his office door behind him. “Hasn’t she been gone for almost two weeks this time?”

“Fifteen days to be exact.”

“That’s a bit.” He met Inuyasha’s troubled gaze as they started toward the elevators. “I don’t know how you do it, Inu. I’m not sure I could deal with Rin being gone for such a long time and be as cool about it as you are when Kagome leaves. I know it’s got to be rough.”

“Rough?” Inuyasha stepped onto the elevator and watched as his brother punched the button for the basement parking garage. “You have no idea how rough it is, Sessh. It eats me up every time she goes on one of these things, but what can I do? It’s her job, Man.”

“I understand that, her being a professional computer consultant and all, but I really don’t know how you hold it all together when she’s gone for so long. Don’t you... ah... worry? You know, about her being...”

“Unfaithful?” He shot his brother a sharp look across the confined space and their amber eyes met. “Not even for a minute. Why the hell would you ask me something like that?”

“Because you are my brother... because I worry about you... because I have always only wanted you to be happy, and because I have never really trusted Kagome.”

“You haven’t?” Shock colored Inuyasha’s voice as he stared at his brother’s stoic and sometimes bland profile. “I never knew that. Why wouldn’t you trust her? She’s never done anything to you?”

“No... she hasn’t, but you know who her Father is...”

“Yes, I do, but her Father is her Father, she is not HIM.” Inuyasha bristled at the comparison of his obsessively honest wife to her cut-throat unscrupulous cooperate lawyer father who was responsible for more small business failures in the last three decades than any two firms combined.

“Whatever you say, little Brother.” The elevator doors opened revealing the brightly lit parking garage and the fact that their cars were just about the only two remaining on the whole level. Sesshoumaro stepped out into the cold air steam puffing from his well shaped lips as he called a farewell over his shoulder. “See you for Dinner on Sunday, Inu. Rin says she’s cooking something special just to cheer you up, so if I were you, I wouldn’t disappoint her by not showing up.”

“I’ll be there... and tell her ‘Thanks’ for me, will you?” Inuyasha called after the retreating form of his tall silver-haired brother.

“Sure thing, catch you later.”

“All right!” He fumbled in his pockets for the keys to his sleek black Porsche. His ‘work car’ was what Kagome called it because work was the only place he ever drove it. Otherwise, he was always seen in his beloved dark blue 4x4 Dodge Ram extended cab. THAT was his Baby, the Porsche was for Clients associated with the law practice he shared with his brother, and the car helped present an Image of Class, Precision, and Efficiency that the brothers wanted to present and that was all it was for. Otherwise, if it were up to Inuyasha, he wouldn’t be caught dead in the ‘rich-boy’ piece of crap whose insurance policy almost cost him more than he had paid for his precious truck.

“All right, you bitch,” He hissed unaffectionately at the car as he lowered himself into the patent leather seat that was way too near the ground for his comfort, “You fucking better start or you and me are going to have a serious relationship problem.” But as the key turned in the ignition, the finicky car roared to life and a satisfied smile curled his mouth. “Goood girl,” He said as he patted the dash board with his hand. “It’s a good thing you’re starting to listen to me... You wouldn’t like it if I got mad and pulled your distributor cap and shoved you in the garage where the sun don’t ever shine... now would you?” As if to answer his thinly veiled threat, the engine purred smoothly as he pushed on the gas pedal and Inuyasha quickly engaged the clutch and slipped the transmission into reverse. “I didn’t think you would.” The car rolled out of the parking space, and after putting it into first gear, he switched on the lights and headed for home.

Forty minutes... forty minutes until he was going to be able to open the door to his empty house, go into his empty kitchen, fix himself something quick to eat, walk out into his empty livingroom, and watch some TV before going upstairs to his cavernous empty bedroom and try to sleep in that fucking empty bed one more night... empty. Alone... Dammit! ‘She’s been gone too long this time,’ He thought to himself as a sharp pain stabbed through the region of his heart causing him to shift uncomfortably in his seat. ‘I know she calls almost every night... but it just isn’t the same as having her here with me... here in my arms where I can feel her, hear her heart beating, smell her scent, touch her skin... kiss her lips and listen to those little whimpering sounds she makes when I ...’ “SHIT!” Inuyasha swore out loud as his traitorous thoughts drifted off into the many pleasurable memories of making love with his wife.

“I miss you, Baby,” He muttered to himself as he leaned his elbow on the curve of the door where it cradled the window, and then began to rub his forehead absently with the fingers of that hand. “I really miss you. Probably more than you could ever believe or understand... hell, I’m not sure I understand it myself, but I do know this... I’m tired of sleeping in the fucking bed by myself, and I’m tired of coming home to an empty house than I KNOW is going to be empty.” The catch in his voice surprised his almost as much as the lump that formed in his throat because he had never been the kind of guy to lavish a lot of emotional affection on his wife, he was more of a ‘hands on man’ and he had always thought that was enough, but suddenly he wasn’t so sure. What if Sessh was right? What if...

“Have you found somebody else, Kag?” Oh God... have you? Inuyasha’s mind began to race frantically as he rifled through the things he thought he did for her that mattered... the things he thought he was supposed to do to make her happy.

“I work hard... We have a nice house... you don’t have to work unless you want to, and I have never told you that you couldn’t... I let you buy whatever you want... I always remember your birthday and our anniversary and.... I take you out when you want to go; where ever you want to go... I tell you you’re beautiful... I... I...” He stopped as he struggled to think of what else he did and suddenly a conversation they had had just before she left for the airport this time came rushing back to him, and as it did, fear came with it.


“Are you going to take me to the Airport this time, Inu?”

“I can’t, Baby. You know that. I have to finish this brief for Court in the morning. If I don’t, Sessh will kill me.”

“I know... I just... I just thought maybe...”

“I’ll take you next time, Honey. I promise.”

“That is what you said the last time, Inu.”
“I did?”

“Um-hum... but it’s Ok... I know how busy you are, besides I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I didn’t have Marty from the cab company to get me where I needed to go.” A short ironic laugh had followed her statement and he had looked up from his computer to catch a half smile on her lovely face. “He’s gotten pretty good at knowing exactly where he has to take me... so, it’s probably easier this way anyway.”

“See, Baby?” He had shrugged and pulled her into his lap for a quick kiss and hug before she had carefully disentangled herself and stood up to go make her phone call. “It all works out for the best.”

“Sure it does, Inu. We both get what we need the most.” She had stopped and looked back at him from the shadows, but he had not been able to see the expression on her face. “You get to finished your brief, and I get dropped off at the airport by a fat cabby with a bad haircut.”


Inuyasha remembered he had laughed at the time thinking she was making a joke, but now he was not so sure. He began wondering if he had missed out on something very important that she had been trying to tell him only he was so self absorbed he had missed it completely. What was she trying to say? The fear congealed in his heart as the coldness of his own treatment of her began to filter through his thoughts and add to the sense of ‘emptiness’ that he had been feeling.

“If I feel this empty and lonely without her, how has she felt ‘with’ me yet ‘not with’ me?” The question slid into the silence of the car and as he asked it of himself, Inu began to see himself as the husband he really was not the one he ‘thought’ he was.

I am too busy for her.

I brush her off.

I am not there for her emotionally... I neglect her feelings.

I make love to her body, but when was the last time I made love to her heart? Or to her soul? Or to HER?

I tell her I love her, but has it become lip service in her eyes? Does she believe me anymore? Do I really show her? I could buy her all of the diamonds and houses and cars in the world and she could still feel unloved because I never took the time to just take her in my arms and hold her for three minutes. Just hold her and whisper to her how much I love her and need her. When was the last time I did that? “God, I don’t know...” And then something else occurred to him.

Children??

He had never let her talk about children, he had always told her another time would be better... why had he done that? They had been married nearly three and a half years and he had never set down once with her to discuss children. Why? Didn’t he want a child? Was he afraid of having one? If so, what the hell was he afraid of? Losing her? Sharing her? The responsibility that a child represented?

Inuyasha didn’t have an answer to that set of questions, and suddenly it became imperitive that he make it home as soon as possible so that he could be absolutely certain not to miss her nightly phone call.


The phone was ringing when he opened the front door and Inuyasha dashed to the end table snatching it up from is charger the instant he was close enough.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Baby...” The clear bell tones of the female voice on the other end caused him to close his golden eyes in pure pleasure as he cradled the phone against his ear.

“Hey, Sweetheart, how you doing?” He asked trying to keep his voice as normal sounding as possible as he savored the sensations of hearing her once more especially after the ride home he had just experienced.

“I’m doing Ok, I guess.” She replied in an even tone, but he had known her too long not to notice the hint of trepidation she was trying to hide and it reached out to grip his heart in a gauntlet of icy fear as his mind began to race wondering what could be wrong.

“What’s wrong, Kag? You sound a little... down. Are you sure you’re Ok?”

“Well...” The pause was eternal to his pounding heart as he waited for her to continue, and as the seconds passed he began to fear he knew what was bothering her. “I’ve been thinking the last few days, Inu... and I think we need to talk about some things.” ‘Oh God, nooo...’ he cried deep inside of himself and he felt his body sink into one of the overstuffed blue chairs in the livingroom.

“Discuss?” He whispered in a thick voice as he numbly removed his trench and leaned over to rest his elbows on his knees while still holding the phone firmly against his ear. “Wh-what kind of things, Kagome? What... what have you been thinking about, Baby?”

“Mostly about us,” Her voice sounded very faraway and almost as sad as he suddenly felt and Inuyasha closed his eyes against the burning pain that was starting to grow in his chest as she continued to speak. “We have some real problems, Inuyasha, and I think that if we plan on having any kind of a future together, we need to talk about them and see if they can be worked out because... because...” She stopped suddenly and he thought her heard her voice crack and the muffled sound nearly killed him.

“Are you... Are you leaving me, Kagome?” He breathed in an agonized choking sound into the phone as his free hand rose to hold his forehead as his emotions became to heavy for him to bear alone. “Are you telling me you can’t l-live with me anymore?”

“I-Inu... I...” He could hear her crying now and inside of his chest his heart shattered and with it went every shred of pride he had ever possessed.

“Kag-ome...” He cradled the phone as if he were cradling her and the tears of his broken soul began streaming down his face unchecked. “Don’t cry, Honey... it’ll be Ok, I promise... whatever you want, it’ll be Ok.” A ragged breath of pain filled his lungs as he struggled to keep from breaking down completely. “I know I can’t make you stay, and I know there is nothing I can say to make things better right now, but I want you to listen to me for just a couple of minutes, Ok? That is all I ask, and then you can go in peace, All right?”

“Inu... what...?”

“I spent the whole drive home tonight trying to figure out why you’ve been gone for so long this time... and I just couldn’t come us with anything except that maybe you’ve found somebody else only I couldn’t figure out why you would look because I thought I was such a prime catch.” He began to laugh in a ironic and rueful tone as he tried to wipe some of the wetness off his face. “I even had the audacity and conceit to set and try listing all of the wonderful attributes that made me such a perfect husband, but I was such an fool... such a fucking stupid fool...”

“What do you mean? You aren’t a fool..”

“Yes, I am... I’m the biggest fool in the world because I am about as far away from being the perfect husband as a Cocker Spaniel is from being house trained.”

“What?” Bless her, she sounded so confused... and upset.

“Because, Baby... when you get right down to it, I treat you like shit... I ignore everything that is important to you like... taking you to the airport so I can kiss you good-bye... like dancing with you in the front room without the radio just so I can have an excuse to hold you... like sneaking into your shower so I can ‘wash’ your back... kissing you in the rain, counting your freckles, and just telling you how much I love you and need you because you need to hear it... not because I think you already know it... That is why I’m a fool, and that is why I’m stupid because I never realized that THOSE were the things I need to do and that all the presents and status crap meant nothing because... because it was empty, and empty love is the same as no love at all... maybe it’s worse. I just know I never did the things I was supposed to to keep you happy. I know I didn’t, and, Honey... I’m so sorry... so damn sorry. I know that can’t make up for all of the pain and the empty... but... you’re 5,000 miles away with no real intention of coming home, and I’m so stupid... I can’t think of anything else to say.”

“I... I don’t know what t-to say...” Her sniffles and hic-ups were proof that she was still crying and all he could do was clamp his teeth together and pray for some sort of strength. Something that would get him through this before he totally caved in.

“It’s Ok, Honey. You don’t have to say anything. I don’t expect you to say anything, so why don’t you just say ‘Good-bye’ and that will be enough.” Closing his eyes once more and feeling the flood of wetness continue to slide down his face, Inuyasha waited for the death blow to be served.

“Is that what you want me to do, Inuyasha? Do you want me to say ‘Good-bye’?”

“That’s really why you called, isn’t it, Kagome?”

“I...”

“It’s Ok, Baby... You can do it. It’ll be all right, just like I said it would be. It’ll be all right.”

“I... Good-bye, Inuyasha.” He listened as the phone line went dead and then he absently dropped the cordless extension on the floor not caring whether he had severed the connection or not. It was over... she was gone... she had said it... ‘Good-bye, Inuyasha.’ The words bounced around inside of his head as he bent his head and fisted both hands in his long thick silver hair. The pain would rise to consume him now, he could feel it burning outward from the place inside of his chest where his heart used to be and prayed that it would destroy him soon so he would not have to miss her for very long.


I can’t stand it.

I feel... alone... empty... dead... Oh God.... kill my emotions along with my heart... please don’t let me suffer this kind of pain... I can’t stand it.

I let her go.

I set her free so she can fly and find happiness again.

I... I cut out my own heart so she could be happy, and I’d do it again... please, don’t let me suffer... I can’t stand it.

I love her... please kill me.


“Kag-ome...” Her name fell from his lips in a tight agonized sob of pain as Inuyasha at last embraced the murderous agony burning in his soul and began to quietly cry like a small innocent child who had lost his only reason to exist. Shoulders shaking violently, the only sounds to leave him were the great gasping cries for air as he struggled to breath past the suffocating crush of his own broken spirit.

Is this the Real Life?
Is this just Fantasy?
Caught in a landslide to escape from Reality.
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see.

I’m just a poor boy,
I need no sympathy,
because I’m easy come, easy go
little high, little low
Hit me where the wind blows,
Doesn’t really matter to me...
to me.

Mama...
I just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger,
Now he’s dead.
Mama...
Life had just begun,
but now I’ve gone and thrown it all away.

Mama...
OooOooOooo,
Didn’t mean to make you cry,
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow,
carry on, carry on
‘Cause it doesn’t really matter.

Mama...
Too late,
My time has come.
Send shivers down my spine,
Body aching all the time.

Good-bye, everybody,
I’ve got to go.
Gotta leave you all behind,
and face the truth.
Mama...
OoooOoooOooo,
I don’t wanna die,
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.

Queen



the end of chapter one. If you like it... if they aren’t too out of character... I’ll finish chapter two...


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