Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Reviews for Time Soul Exodus (New chapter added: 2006-12-31)

By : Zelix

From Shadowedanimeartist on January 15, 2007
Nice chapter! Really, it is, don't worry about the grammer, you made very few mistakes, and they were not big enough to be noticed unless someone went looking for them, Also, thank you for keeping me in mind, but nice chapter, please update! lol ^__^
Report Review
From ANON - Theshadowedanimeartist on November 28, 2006
Hey, i LOVE the story, can you Email me?? i will beta - read it for you if you wish. i absolutely love the story, thanks

Wannabemangamaker@yahoo.com

Report Review
From ANON - Vampress on October 02, 2006
Desparate & begging for attention, Huh? O.K here's you pat on the head! Now Get Back To Updating! Yeah I just started reading "Time Soul Exodus" this week,it kicks major BUTT! Well thought out, the little girl must have the former queen bee's soul or something eh? Like the way you write "Arc" with growing pain & lots of anguist (sorry no spell check, don't feel like looking for my dictionary.)
No Evil Cliffies from you or NO more pats on the head, hee hee. Get this story moving already, hmmmm? LOL
Report Review
From ANON - Merely Truth on August 09, 2006
Wow ! Acerdo has such awful capacities ! The movements are technically well described. I would like to know what happened !
Sorry that you are in sorrow. Keep strength in your life ; perhaps writing will help you at some moment ?
Bon courage, � bient�t !

Merely Truth
Report Review
From ANON - MerelyTruth on June 22, 2006
Sorry Zelix, I was glad you updated but, where's "the path of Asura - part 2" ???
Report Review
From ANON - theshadowedanimeartist on February 01, 2006
HEY!!! I LOVE THE STORY!! you realy dont need a beta >.< your writing is better than mine, thank you for writing such an interesting stry...but i almost cried when i saw the cliffie!!!!!!! *revewis alot so u dont make another* thanks cya

~theshadowedanimeartist AkA wannabemangamaker@yahoo.com
Report Review
From ANON - MerelyTruth on January 29, 2006
Hello Zelix ! French mother of three girls who love mangas, I am happy to review about your wonderful story. On Aff, among other stories, I'm reading Acerdo's adventure with great delight. I love a lot of manga's characters, particurlarly Sesshomaru and Inuyasha, and I find that stories with other people around my favorites are very valuable. Yours is truly full of surprises, I love it. And you have some subtility to describe all the thoughts of the hero (well, perhaps sometimes HE thinks to much, but that's so beautifully writed !!!) and very good skills to describe what could feel someone half demon, half human, half "miko"... I love all of that and am very happy when you update. So, thank you very much fo your story !

PS I don't find a lot of mistakes when I read your writing. But that something that I don't understand : I found that usually all english people make the same mistake very often : they use "it's" (like "it is" contracted) when it would be writed "its", the word for possession. Am I wrong ?
Report Review
From VelvetNight on January 27, 2006
WOW!!! I literally have chills!! And before I go any further, you'll have to forgive me if my thoughts seem kind of scrambled...I'm a bit of a scatter-brain (but then again you probably know that).

First thing's first: I have some serious goosebumps...I have to agree with you, that chapter was most definitely one of your best and most intense chapters yet! I really, really loved how you got into EVERYONE'S head when they thought Arcerdo was dead...and then you did it again when Arcerdo...raised up again (for lack of a better phrase). You really have a knack for characterization, even characters who play a minor role (like Hanataro) you give them so much depth and meaning just by showin us what's inside their heads and what they're thinking. Mad props to you for that! I also love/hate how you cut off one of the character's thoughts (well not so much cut it off as you let the thought linger). It creates for some wonderful suspense, but at the same time, heavy frustration. Teehee. Flint and Arbel's reactions really didn't surprise me...especially Arbel's. I figured if Arbel were to find out about Arcerdo being a Youkai, he would literally be torn apart; the simple fact that he ows Arcerdo his life now really played into his emotions and thoughts.

Now there were a few things that confused me...but if I know you, they'll be explained later on (I'm just too impatient for my own good): but I was confused to the fact mainly how Heitaro felt this "soul pulse" a year ago...hmmm....and also I wondered this for a while now (I just usally forget to ask): but why are Arcerdo's "Youkai Marks" (for lack of a better phrase...again) over his eyes? InuYasha, Sesshoumaru, and even their father's Youkai marks are on their cheeks. I just figured since Arcerdo is from the same line, his Youkai marks would be the same. And I also share Heitaro's confusion about the holy powers. I don't see how it's possible for him to be a full Youkai like this and his holy powers not rise up against it...hmmm.

But now on to the good stuff.

I would have to say the best part of that entire chapter was when Arcerdo...analyzed himself as a full Youkai. Those first couple of paragraphs right after you gave us the suggestion for background music (which intensified my chills ten fold by the way), were spectacular! You, my friend, have mastered the art of balancing details of the story with the flow of the story. A trick not too many authors have a grasp on, they will admit. And you just...do it! Mad crazy weird! And I loooooved the bold sentences between paragraphs. It created an...unearthly feel to it...like an omnicient outsider's opinion...gave the chapter an authentic flair. But your forte (in this chapter) has to be your details. Good lord! Phrases like: "His muscles had become like steel, his blood had turned into fire of battle..." and "this state of cold calmness even though his blood was burning�" really give great sensory imagery. It's almost as if I can feel what Arcerdo is feeling....amazing! The pace of this chapter...in one word...perfect. Not too fast, and not too slow. It was just right. And the Chapter title for the next chapter....man...you do so much research for this fic...I'm truly humbled. Alot of fics I've read, people just kind of BS their way around facts and such, but you (and a scant few other authors) really put dedication and hard work into your fics (that's one of the main reasons why I don't mind waiting for your chapters...you never disappoint). I sooo can't wait to find out what happens next!!
Report Review
From ANON - Shadowedanimeartist on December 17, 2005
AWESOME!! please keep it up..........but please hurry..... it is hard to find another story good enough to read untill you update PLEASE and THANX
Report Review
From ANON - Paul on December 12, 2005
Great chapters, finally some good action scenes !
I can't wait to learn what happened to Arcerdo !

Report Review
From ANON - theanimeartist on December 11, 2005
HEY! HEY YOU!! PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!!
YOUR STORY IS AWSOME!!! and also i realllyyyyy wanna seeeee the next chapter please please please (yes i can do this forever) please please......ECT kk ty bye
Report Review
From ANON - fluffleskat on November 30, 2005
_I_ want you to finish it!
sadly, i've only just discovered this story, but i like it a lot!
pleeease keep writing?
Report Review
From ANON - Urgazhi on November 14, 2005
I think that it would be a good idea for you to write more, so far its a really good story :)

I also like the charcters in the story :)
Report Review
From ANON - Eyes of Jade on November 03, 2005
Betcha you didn't think I would ever write to you again. I just got back on the computer today in close to four months. Saw you had an authors note and read. I have not read the new chapters as of yet but tomorrow I will. I can tell you right now that I want to read this fiction in full. I have childishly relied on Inuyasha to get me through hard and deprssing times mainly because its the one thing that has stayed constant the past few years in my life. If I didn't have your fictions, my dvds, and a few choice authors I would have lost my mind. LOL As soon as I get the email address for this computer I will let you know. Talk to you soon Zelix and hopefully we can catch up. (If you remember me that is) Heres hoping you don't have too much extra toilet paper. LOL Eyes of Jade (Mindy)
Report Review
From ANON - chanda on October 31, 2005
I am sorry your going through a hard time. I love your stories, they are wonderfully written.

Damn writer's block go away... :(

Good luck,
Chanda

Report Review