Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

SURVIVE	By : ajj77sunhawk Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 26393 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 24
- 25
- 26
OMG its been a while. Sorry for the long silence, I owe you all an explanation. I have had a recent surgery, and have been feeling well crappy. Recovery is longer then I expected and more painful. So have been totally blocked and in no mood to write. Finally started feeling better, and am getting back in the swing of things. My health is good now Jin case you are worried,.
Totally not edited, but impatient to post…. So
Read, review and ENJOY

Chapter 25 : Disgusting Human.
He gazed at his left misshapen hand. How old has he been the first time they had broken it, ten? Eleven? He was not quite sure. In those years when turning human had made him the target of abuse and lust, he had lost count of the number of times they had broken his bones. His throat dried and burned the nightmare flashes of memories that haunted him, that plagued his hidden thoughts, raked at his brain. The breakings of his bones were nothing compared to the other things they had done to him. The thin frame shuddered as the ghosts howled.
For four years, on the accursed night he gained dominance, he had been their toy, their ‘doll’ to play with, to use, to break. The scars from that time… the things they had done to his human body… he was – unclean. Inu was strangely grateful to Lady Kikyo, her decree that he be isolated when he was fourteen, had been probably saved his sanity. He hated rising, he hated it!
His twisted fingers twitched. How many times had it been broken. He truly did not know, he had stopped counting after the 50^thbreak. For some strange reason Lady Kagome, had taken great pleasure in breaking the bones of his left hand. It had been so systematically done, his hand had finally healed wrong. Every time he turned human, his hand turned wrong. Only his little finger could straighten properly, the others were bent, unnatural, misshapen - wrong.
Just like he was.
He had tried not to, harder than at any other time in his life, he had tried not to rise. He had tried to stop Inuyasha from turning human, but just like all the other times he had failed. Utterly and miserably failed.
Inu, pulled the cloak tight around his too thin shoulders. At least he had got this much done to protect Inuyasha. He had in the last two hours, gently urged Inuyasha to seek some quiet time and go to the gardens, they has reached this spot just as Inu rose to dominance. Inu had successfully hidden his emotions from his dominant self and the other aspects. He would not allow them to be hurt because of him again, never again. He would take responsibility. He would protect them.
He would make sure his presence did not contaminate the joy that they had found. He would not allow his twisted self, to spoil the new life Inuyasha had begun to build.
As he rose, he had urged Inuyasha to sleep, and the Hanyou trusting in the safety of his Alpha’s castle, had slipped into a deep and rejuvenating sleep.
Inu, now dominant, had immediately put the others to sleep as well. He would not allow them to face this. It was his cross, his weakness, and this time, as he should have in the past, he would bear it alone. He would not allow Inuyasha to suffer in his stead, not anymore. The guilt and self disgust at his past weakness ate at him. Yasha turning on him had in his mind confirmed everything he had suspected. It was his fault. Yasha had been right, he was the wrong one, HE was to blame. He re-lived the moment when Yasha’s claws had dug into him, seeking to end him. It should have been the final blow, he accepted it. He was wrong, he was the abomination. So he deserved it. He deserved nothing more than that.
There was no hiding from the truth, it was all his fault Inuyasha had suffered.
Unlike the other aspects he was impotent, powerless, pathetic and his crime was so much worse. He infected the most amazing creature in the universe with his poison. On the night he rose… He made Inuyasha weak. He had forced Inuyahsa to face the tortures in the humans’ hands because he had been too overwhelmed to face it alone. He had made it possible for them to hurt Inuyasha so damned badly.
It should have been only him, not Inuyasha. He should have faced it alone, but he had been too weak. He should have been stronger, he fucking should have been. Instead he had cowered behind Inuyasha, and in shielding him, Inuyasha had suffered. In Inu’s eyes, Inuyasha only had one fault. Inuyasha saw his human aspect as wise and beautiful. The human knew better. He was a coward, a powerless, deficient being – in truth - worth nothing.
He could do this much. He would make sure he did not spoil it for the rest of them. With the demons he would minimize the damage his presence caused. This time he would protect them.
The hot springs before him stank of rotten eggs. Though the water of this spring, at the far edge the Demon Lord’s estates, was said to be therapeutic, the stench kept almost all the Demons and Seraphim alike well away from the pool. Inu did not hesitate, he placed the cloak by the side of the pool, and fully clothed he sank into the murky waters of the sulphuric pool. It was the perfect place to hide, to mark time till the cursed night he rose to dominance passed.
The numerous scars on the human’s back and legs seemed to sting and burn. Though they had healed a long time ago, the memory of the kiss of the whip against human skin, of the physical torments, was enough to cause the human pain.
Inu sighed softy, pathetic, he was too pathetic, too feeble for words. The other aspects were amazing, powerful, magical… he was just human. A lousy, stinking, decrepit, crippled human.
He was the weak link in amazing being that is Inuyasha, and the Temple had made him exquisitely aware of how much he had been responsible for weakening and contaminating their protector. The Temple had done one thing right, containing him as a human, isolating him so that others could not hurt Inuyasha in his time of weakness, that was the best course of action. Inu wholeheartedly agreed, he had to be separated from the world so that the other aspects were not damaged when he gained dominance.
He had no doubt the demons would agree. They had to hide his shameful existence.
He could not allow the others to be hurt, never again. He hoped that he could hide long enough so that by the time the demons found out about him, Inuyasha would be too integrated into the pack to be removed or demoted. They would find an appropriate place to confine him, and everything would be as it should be.
Inu looked up at the night sky, it stretched out in an endlessly canopy of stars. So beautiful. Inu wanted to walk in the woods, to feel the various textures of the leaves and the grass under his feet. To run, to jump, to do all the things denied him. But he didn’t. He was the only aspect that rose naturally, and he was the only aspect that never wanted to rise again. Given the chance he would never leave the scantuary.
He sat in the hot scalding waters still and silent. He would stay in this stinking water the whole night, allow it to mask his scent. It was enough that he got to see the stars and feel the breeze for a while. No, to not be writing in pain, to not be trembling in fear, to not be cold and uncomfortable, it was more than enough, it was good. It was amazing.
A soft smile stretched across Inu’s thin, dry lips. The water was too hot for him to be wholly comfortable, he would probably be boiled and skinned by morning, but that was alright, Inyasha would heal that instantly. No harm done at all.
The human’s midnight hair floated around him, he leaned against the rock, tried not to breathe in too deeply, and settled down to wait out the long, lonely night.

:O L:X :~
Inu was not sure what disturbed his silent contemplation. In the last three hours, the hot, sulphuric waters had begun to blister and burn his skin, but the human who watched the stars in solitude, had not even noticed. Physical pain was a comfortable cloak to the human.
Very slowly, he gathered himself, muscles tensed for flight. Violet eyes scanned the dark woods surrounding the hot pools. A shadow detached itself from the forest, and stepped out into the faint starlight. Inu’s felt his heart sink, fear rose like a tide inside him. His muscles tensed painfully, but he was well aware that there was no hope for flight. His body froze, and he layered the protection on the sanctuary, he would keep them safe, they would know nothing of this.
Golden eyes that missed nothing, stared at the human neck deep in the pool of water.
For long minutes neither moved. The human dropped his gaze to Sesshoumaru’s feet, but other than that remained still.
It finally occurred to Sesshoumaru that the human would perhaps stay as he was until day break, and the Demon Lord himself broke the oppressive silence.
“What are you doing here? Why is my Hanyou not in my rooms?” Sesshoumaru asked his voice deliberately calm without inflection. The Demon Lord had missed his Hanyou’s presence and had gone searching for him. The light pack markings had led Sesshoumaru straight to the pool. He had been surprised to see his Hanyou in human form lounging in the hot but smelly waters. He would have liked to enjoy a relaxing bath with his Beta. Given his current state of constant semi arousal, he was not pleased at being denied the pleasure of a shared bath.

Inu flinched at those words, his crimes were never ending, now he would be denying his Lord when he rose. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words were heavy they caught in his throat. No! He could not do this! He had to be strong. The human forced down the welling fear, and keeping his voice as steady as possible spoke softly.
“Forgive me my Lord, the fault is solely mine, not Inuyasha’s. I cannot stop myself from rising on the night when there is no moon in the sky. Unlike the others, I cannot withdraw until dawn breaks and lifts my curse. Inuyasha and the others will sleep deep on this night, it is my fault alone that you will be deprived of Inuyasha’s presence once a month.” Inu’s voice was dry and steady, he was focusing his all on controlling he fear. Even so he had little control over the damaged nerves of his left hand, and he pushed it behind his back as it shook. He may hide it from the Lord but not from himself, the trembling of his hand marked him for what he was, a weakling and a coward.
Still he would do this for them, he would be brave for the others. Never lifting his head, he rose and walked towards Lord Sesshoumaru. The clothes clung to his skin, weighting him down, his deformed hand tucked behind his back, he inhaled deeply and prepared to make his case.
So the moonless night is your standard human night.” Sesshoumaru stated softly. His calm face hiding his absolute shock. Unlike the other aspects, the human side of Inuyasha looked frail, too thin and tense. That however was not what shocked Sesshoumaru, the blistering of the human’s skin from over- exposure to the water, the thick scent of fear in the air, that shocked Sesshoumaru to the core. What in the seven hells was going on?
“Yes, my Lord.” Inu all but whispered, he gasped for air, and plunged on. “Inu is Inuyasha’s weakness, and the cause of much of his pain. I know, there is no place for humans in the Demon lands, but please do not turn the others away because of me. I am finally strong enough to keep Inuyasha and the others asleep when I rise, if we do this carefully they will never have to know. No one will have to know of Inuyasha’s weakness. I was trying to hide it this night.” Inu’s shoulders slumped, the sound that emerged from Inu’s throat was a parody of a laugh. “But it’s hardly surprising, I failed.”
Thin shoulders squared as Inu faced the Demon Lord. Water dripped off the young, thin face as Inu’s lips twisted into what looked to Sesshoumaru like a painful smile. “My Lord, that you can do what I cannot is without doubt. Perhaps this is for the best. Please My Lord, I will submit to whatever you need to do to keep Inuyasha untainted.”
It was all Sesshoumaru could do, not to have his jaw hang open, what was his human talking about. Rage filled him at the human’s last words. “What or who would dare taint my Inuyasha?” Sesshoumaru snapped out.
The human flinched and paled further at the words. “Me!” the word came out in a pained whisper. “My existence taints Inuyasha. I am his weakness; please Lord Sesshoumaru, stop me from hurting him further. On nights I rise, I will accept my punishment, put me in a cell somewhere deep underground, where none can see this weakness. I won’t spoil your palace with my stench. I swear, Inuyasha and the others will never know, they are naïve, innocent. So very innocent. It is me that..that.. is dirty, wrong.”
Inu finally looked up, and as Inu fought for the innocence of his other aspects, Sesshoumaru could see the same core of strength he had seen in the others shining out of the human. Only the human was much more damaged, this fragile human frame had bore tortures that would have broken many aYoukai. The human was telling him of how, he would take the punishment, how he would hide, would disappear, and his enemies would never know such weakness existed; the feelings that consumed Sesshoumaru at those words were indescribable.
“It is the one thing the Temple had right, I am unclean, contaminated. You don’t need to do it for five nights, Inuyasha without me is unsullied. Just on the moonless night, when I rise, to protect the other, I must be contained and isolated. ” Inu’s voice was steady as he proclaimed his own sentence.
The myriad of emotions in the Demon Lord, snapped into one, anger. His eyes narrowed.
hat mockery of a Temple, is right about nothing. ” He snapped, his hands clenching in anger. Inu saw the movement and tensed, his head hung lower. He did not want more pain, isolation was better, but he would accept his punishment without a whimper.
Sesshoumaru’s jaw clenched at the young one’s reaction. The fear in the air was so thick. The Demon Lord reached out, and the human froze. Violet eyes wide in his face, fear rose as the powerful Demon closed the space between them.
As one approached a terrified puppy, Sesshoumaru’s movements were slow, deliberately and steady. He stooped a foot away from the frozen human frame. He moved his one hand towards the human’s gaunt face. His hand was open and relaxed, it did not falter as he ever so slowly, drew nearer
Inu flinched, he lost his train of thought. Gods don’t touch me, he wanted to scream, don’t touch me! He bit down on the scream as large eyes tracked the movements of the Demon Lord. It focused on the open hand, it was slow, it did not seem to want to hurt him.
Sesshoumaru’s movements were so slow, it took more than ten minutes for the long fingers to reach Inu’s jaw. The human was silent and tense the whole time, but when skin finally came into contact with skin, the human shuddered, but did not jerk away.
Moko-moko rose, with Inuyasha the fur would have displaced the damp clothes, and wrapped itself around the Hanyou. With Inu, the fur gently settled over the clothes, absorbing and draining the moisture from the cloth, as it moved along his body. Moko-moko gently warming the trembling frame. It curled down Inu’s side, in no way trapping or enveloping the human.
When Sesshoumaru finally spoke, it was as if the fifteen minutes of silence had not occurred. “If you were to disappear, I would miss you, and that my precious human would deprive me even more.” Sesshoumaru’s long fingers delicately traced the Hanyou’s jaw, before following the bone structure upwards caressing the thin yet compelling features.
“Silly human, what nonsense do you speak? You are part of my pack, now. That means you belong to me, every aspect of you is mine. You demean me when you say something that is mine is tainted, you insult me, when you call one that is so utterly and completely mine, weak. Do not do so again. ” Sesshoumaru’s voice was gentle but stern, Inuyasha and all his aspects were his, it was that simple. Sesshoumaru cupped the shocked face.
“Understand this my human, you are mine. Now, till the day you die, that is the one truth you will carry with you. If you feel that your body is tainted, it will be my pleasure to cleanse you completely of any taint on the next moonless night. If you mistakenly believe you are weak, as Alpha it is my duty to help you find your strength, and more my little human, if you feel unwanted, it is my honor and role to show how very needed you are. You are an adult, not a youth or child like the other two. I will not coddle you my precious Inu, I will not allow you to hide. Instead I will claim you, I will show you your strength and I will prove how very wanted you are.” Deliberately, seductively Sesshoumaru drew the trembling human to him.
Yes he knew the young one was afraid, yes he knew that he was taking a risk. But to stop trauma one had to sometimes face it. This young human fear touch, he feared sex, Sesshoumaru was going to prove both fears false. There was more to it than that of course, the human had been right, his body had absorbed the abuses, others had touched what was his. Lord Sesshoumaru was not going be denied access to all that was his. Sesshoumaru was deadly serious, at the human’s next rising, he would claim the human frame. His lips, his fingers and his seed would cover the human, cleansing him, inside and out. At the human’s next rising, Sesshoumaru would make the man scream his name, and forget that anyone but Lord Sesshoumaru had every touched his body.
But this was for the next rising.
Sesshoumaru reached down and grasped the hand Inu hand so desperately tried to hide. Claws that never broke the delicate skin, traced the bones and damaged fingers. Almost with reverence, the Demon Lord placed a kiss on the middle of the Inu’s palm, then brought the damaged appendage to his chest.
“these scars you bear, are testament to your strength, to you ability to survive against the odds. Do not demean now by hiding them, wear them proudly as a mark for your valor. My beautiful human.” The smile that crossed Sesshoumaru’s face was gentle but utterly possessive. Not allowing the human to emerge from his stunned and bemused state. Sesshoumaru lifted Inu into his arms. Cradling him bridal style, the Demon Lord floated into the air.
Before going back to his rooms, Sesshoumaru made a small detour, to the city. Keeping their presence cloaked, Sesshoumaru took the human to section of the city. It was a small section, neat, well maintained and Inu’s jaw dropped, the section was full of humans. “This Sesshoumaru miscalculated, we kept the humans away from court as we were concerned their presence may traumatize you. I never imagined that they lack of humans would make you feel as if you had no place in the Demon Lands.” Seshoumaru ignored the trembling as he pressed his lips to Inuyasha’s forehead. “Since we won the first battle against the Shikon-No-Tama, in the best of our lands, humans live and work beside us. As they do in the best of human and Seraphim lands as well.”
Having made his point, the Demon Lord sped back to the castle. He tucked the human into bed, and summoned Jeninji. Once he was certain that Inu’s health was seen to, Sesshoumaru rather reluctantly summoned Miroku. As gently as possible, he would drive home the point that Inu would not be isolated.
The three did not sleep that night. They talked and sipped wine and tea, keeping the still scared and nervous human company.
Just before dawn, Sesshoumaru firmly kicked both Jeninji and Miroku out of his rooms, ensuring that it was only his eyes that witnessed the change.
Sleep dazed golden eyes blinked at him. “What did you do?” Inuyasha asked slowly, “Inu feels, better. ”
Sesshoumaru smirked in response, damn he did good work. “That is between me and my human Inu. You, my Hanyou I have missed. ” So saying Sesshoumaru drew Inuyasha to him for a long, deep kiss.

---Tbc---

Wel.. well whatcha think? Please review. Pretty please. Poor Inu, he has a huge cross to bear. Please writer in recovery here so please review.
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SURVIVE