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Love is Blind	By : SplendentGoddess Category: InuYasha > General Views: 3003 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Inuyasha, and the characters therein, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am in no way affiliated with Takahashi or VIZ Productions, and I do not gain financially from my fanfic in any way.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Chapter Five

I'm afraid of dogs.

The words echoed loudly in his head, and not for the first time, Inuyasha was grateful she couldn't see his face. It took him a second to compose himself, but he knew he had to respond before letting too much time pass so he tried his best.

“Oh?” he replied, cringing at the obvious worry present in his tone of voice.

If Kagome picked up on it though, she didn't comment on it, instead simply continuing to explain the reason for her phobia, plus the reason why, in her opinion, the accident had been her fault.

“It was...it was an inugami that attacked me,” she said while reaching up with her left hand to ghost it over her face without quite touching.

Inuyasha felt the world drop out beneath his feet at her confession.

He cleared his throat.

“An inugami?”

Those beastly things actually could be rather dangerous, he knew.

Nodding, Kagome went ahead and told him the rest of the story.

“It was just a little over three years ago, shortly after my twenty-second birthday,” she began. “I'd been practicing for seven years by that point, ever since I started to show purification abilities shortly after turning fifteen. I'd always had special senses, the ability to feel reiki or youki in others, and I even had the rarer ability to 'see' a person's soul, for lack of a better term, and know what they're feeling, but the ability to channel reiki oneself usually surfaces during adolescence and it was the same with me. Then the real training began.”

Pausing, she took another sip of tea.

“According to my sensei, I showed real potential. She made several shikigami for me to fight, gave me tainted objects to purify, etc. Jii-chan even started having me help with purifications at our shrine, because it's been a service we've offered for years. Bring in your tainted object and we'll cleanse it for you. I was a natural, he said, because I didn't even have to think about it. The tainted objects just automatically purified when I held them. Eventually, though, when my sensei and grandfather both thought I was ready, it was time for my first real field test, as it were.”

“You make it sound like military training,” Inuyasha interjected softly, just trying to think of something to say.

She just shrugged.

“It sort of is, but we're not soldiers,” Kagome replied, in regard to reiki wielding humans as a whole. “Not anymore. We're more like animal control,” she explained. “It's not like there's going to be any more conflicts between us and the people-like youkai. They just want to live their own lives in peace, same as anyone else.”

He had to admit, a huge part of him was very relieved to hear her say that last part, especially after her 'animal control' comment. There were those among the human purists who considered so-called 'humanoid' youkai animals, too, but Kagome had already told him the beast that had attacked her had been an inugami, so she really did mean animals. Demonic animals instead of mortal – or as the humans called them, 'regular' – animals. They did require a different kind of solution to deal with them as opposed to mortal animals, he knew, but usually that was the taijiya's job. Reiki users were required to purify away any residual evil energy as a result of a lower youkai's presence, but while they also had the ability to seal youkai without harming them, and could therefore deal with the threat more directly without necessarily killing it – because killing was a last resort those days – reiki users didn't usually like to 'get their hands dirty' as Miroku had jokingly called it.

In fact, the monk-turned-line cook had first met his wife when he had been called in by her father to help with a demonic bear problem, but all he had done was use his reiki to drive the monster out of hiding so that her family could incapacitate it. Back in the day the taijiya were exterminators, and they still took on that aspect of the job if it was something like a youkai rat infestation, but a lot of the time they just knocked the larger beasts out and returned them to the wild. They only killed the larger, endangered species when they really had no choice, same as the humans who tried to capture mortal wild animals on the loose to return to the wild versus killing them. It really just depended on the circumstances.

Lower demonic animals were only marginally more intelligent than their mortal counterparts, and were even considered animals by the youkai who could assume humanoid form, so there was truly no bad blood between higher youkai and the human taijiya and reiki users. Even though for the most part their two species didn't interact, most youkai actually admired the strength of those humans and respected them more for it, and Inuyasha was no exception. It didn't bother him in the slightest to know that Kagome was from a shrine family, and had actually been a miko herself at one point, although the loss of her reiki definitely confused and concerned him. He'd never heard of such a thing happening. Silently, he cursed the kami for whatever kind of cruel game they were playing. If her reiki hadn't decided to seal itself then he wouldn't have had to build up the courage to tell her what he was. And how the hell was he supposed to tell her now? But one thing at a time. If he remained quiet for too long she might start to suspect that something was wrong.

“Do you know how your powers became sealed?” he asked her gently.

She shrugged again.

“Honestly, I have no idea. According to Kaede-sensei, if anything, my blindness should have made my powers even more focused. I guess it's psychological?”

Shrugging, she took another sip of her tea.

“My powers saved my life, though.”

His eyes widened a bit at that. Even though he knew what had attacked her, and had seen the results of that attack, he'd still for some reason not thought of the possibility that she'd actually almost died.

“We were called out to some man's house to purify a beast of his own creation before it managed to kill him,” she continued without prompting, as if sensing he'd been struck speechless for the moment. “He'd studied the old black magics, learned how to make an inugami, and had turned his white Akita into one,” she added, sounding both like she was reliving the horror and grateful for the opportunity to finally get it off her chest, as if she'd kept it all bottled up until now.

Perhaps she had.

Hasn't she told anyone else the details before? He wondered. Her mother? A therapist?

And he didn't miss that bit about it being an Akita. It'd just had to be an Akita, didn't it? And a white one at that. Were the kami deliberately trying to fuck with him? That was the breed of dog his demonic canine lineage was most closely related to. The inugami had probably looked like a miniature version of his father and half-brother in their true forms.

Why me...?

Of course, he wasn't really that selfish. He knew this wasn't about him. But still...

Unable to see his troubled expression, and with him making sure not to give anything away with a sound, Kagome continued.

“That poor dog,” she said sympathetically. “He didn't deserve what happened to him.”

The practice of making an inugami was rather barbaric. Inuyasha shuddered at the thought while unconsciously reaching up to grab his neck. No wonder it had turned on its owner. Most of them did.

“I don't hate dogs,” she added then, “and logically, I know they're not all to blame for what happened to me, but I...I definitely don't think I could ever own one, or be near one, after what happened. I'll never forget, it was the last thing I saw, that white dog-like monster leaping at me out of nowhere...”

She started to shake a little, and without thinking about it he reached across the table and placed his right hand over her left where it was resting near her plate, offering her whatever emotional support he could with a gentle squeeze. Smiling at him then, she retracted her hand and placed both of her hands in her lap, trying not to fidget.

“So anyway, there I was on my first assignment, bow and arrow at the ready 'cause we knew going in this was the real deal, and I'm a good shot with the bow, or at least I was, when I could see what I was aiming at, and yet in that moment, when the inugami emerged, I froze,” she said. “He lunged at me, and I tried too late to get off a shot. He pushed me down, landed on top of me, and I just remember looking up at his fangs, his open mouth right above my face.”

Unbeknownst to Kagome, their waiter had started to come by to see how they were doing while she was talking, but Inuyasha, ever aware of his surroundings as he was, noticed the man's approach in time to silently gesture for him to go away, not in a rude way (he hoped) but rather, with a second gesture towards Kagome that brought the waiter's attention to the fact that she was in the middle of telling him something lengthy that he did not want interrupted. Being smart and quick on the update, and not wanting to upset someone as important as a Taisho, their waiter quickly nodded his understanding and headed in the other direction.

Inuyasha was glad the man hadn't gotten withing hearing distance as Kagome continued to describe the horrors she'd been forced to endure.

“I thought he was going to bite my face off, and he probably was, but before he could, some of his poisonous saliva dripped onto my face, including right into my eyes.”

He did make a sound at that, cringing with a sharp inhale through his teeth. He couldn't help it.

Kagome only agreed with the sentiment.

“Yeah,” she said. “It was as bad as it sounds. That probably would've killed me, itself, if I'd been a normal human, but fortunately, while screaming pain, a giant blast of purifying light burst out of me, or at least, that's the way Kaede-sensei tells it. I passed out. But I also apparently vaporized the inugami and purified the acid-like drool, otherwise, even if I wouldn't have died since Kaede-sensei was there and could have purified me, it would have done a lot more damage in the few seconds it would have taken her to get to me.”

Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly, then said, “I know I'm lucky to be alive.”

She chuckled a bit darkly.

“Still, you can't say it's not my fault. If-”

“Oh yes I can,” he interrupted quietly.

She shook her head.

“If I hadn't froze-”

“Okay fine, if you hadn't froze you could've shot it and not been blinded. Is that what you want to hear?” he said then, but his voice was just as quiet, his tone just as gentle, as he'd been using for the last few minutes, and she looked taken aback at the unexpected words but not slapped in the face as though betrayed.

He quickly continued.

“I've made mistakes. Hell, I am a mistake,” he braved confessing, “but none of us can change the past, so we can either accept our lots in life and learn to live with it, or we can 'what if' ourselves to death.”

Pausing, he took a sip of his water to wet his suddenly very dry mouth.

“So what happened, it was horrible, but yes, at least you survived, and Miroku always says that all things happen for a reason, so maybe the kami knew what they were doing, even if it doesn't make sense to us right now.”

Like why he had been allowed to meet and fall for a woman who couldn't judge him at first glance only to find out that if she ever found out what he was, she'd be terrified of him. He'd been worried she might be prejudiced, wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a hanyou for that reason, but never would he have fathomed that she had a phobia tailor made to guarantee there could never be anything between them.

He still believed she deserved to know the truth, if he was going to pursue a relationship with her – knowing about her phobia now, continuing to conceal what he was if they kept on dating would be downright cruel of him – but on the other hand, how could he possibly tell her now and risk triggering her very obvious PTSD? Hell, she'd started shaking at the simple question of owning a guide dog, which wouldn't even be a demonic animal! She'd admitted to his face that she was afraid of dogs, and could never own or be near one, and here he was, a half human mutation of basically the exact same type of creature that'd attacked her.

He had thought he was afraid of telling her what he was because of the possibility that she would no longer be interested in him, or worse, might even be disgusted by him and angry about the deception, but never had the possibility of her being afraid of him entered his mind, and that changed everything. He knew he needed to tell her if he wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with her, so the only reasonable solution, then, as painful as it was, was to no longer pursue such a relationship. His inu instinct to protect her was already so strong, he would protect her even from himself.

“You're right, of course,” she spoke up suddenly, after taking a few more bites of her food, and it took him a second to realize exactly what she was agreeing with him on.

Oh yeah, the 'all things happen for a reason' shit...

He'd have to figure something out, but he wasn't about to ruin her night, and it already looked as if reliving the trauma she'd been forced to endure had come close to doing just that. She was trying to smile, for him, but it wasn't quite as sincere as it'd previously been.

Slyly, he gestured for their waiter to come over now, figuring they could both use the distraction.

“How was everything,” said waiter asked as soon as he arrived at their table. “Was everything to your satisfaction?”

In true Kagome fashion, she flashed their waiter a beautiful, genuine smile.

“Oh, it was all fabulous,” she answered honestly. “Best food I've ever eaten.”

“Wonderful. I'm very happy to hear that,” he said, obviously pleased. Seeing as they were both nearly finished with their meals, he added, “Can I interest either of you in some dessert?”

“Oh, try and stop me,” Kagome joked, smiling again when she heard the waiter chuckle a little.

He then listed off their limited selection of ridiculously high end desserts, which included things like a trio of sorbets with fresh berries and mint, and a molten chocolate truffle soufflé, which was what Inuyasha and Kagome each opted for, respectively.

“Excellent choices,” their waiter said before walking away.

“So enough about me,” Kagome said after only a moment of silence between them. “I do believe you'd said there were things about you that you wanted to tell me, so now it's my turn to ask, tell me about yourself.”

Crap...

She was right, of course, and he knew he could neither brush her off nor lie to her, so he would be as honest as he could be, except for omitting that one very important key detail. Maybe after she heard the rest she would lose interest in him, anyway.

“Well, as I told you before, I have plenty of money thanks to my father...” She nodded. “And I'm sure you noticed when I told the maître d' that my family name is Taisho.”

Nodding again, she blushed prettily and lowered her head.

She thought she needed to show him respect as a Taisho.

Even if he were human, some people wouldn't think such respect was deserved after learning this next part.

“The truth is, I'm a bastard son.”

Her eyes widened a bit at that, as she lifted her head back up to seemingly look right at him.

“At least I'm a rich bastard instead of a poor bastard,” he joked with a bit of a forced chuckle as he continued, “but I've never met my father, not in person, anyway. We've only ever spoken over the phone a few times, after I was older, and the money he gives my mother and me is like...glorified child support. He's way richer than I am, and I'm not an heir. I get the money he gives me, which is distributed through a trust he created for me, but that's it. That's my allotment. It's not a 'fair' share when you consider what my half-brother gets, but still, I'm not complaining. My mother and I would've been dirt poor otherwise.”

Downing a good bit of his water, he added, “My father is...a very important person in his world, but it's a world I was not born into and am not a part of. I guess nobody's perfect, though, 'cause he'd been having an affair with my mom, while already married with a son. My older half-brother hates my existence 'cause I'm pretty sure his parents split up because of the scandal that was my birth. Like that's my fault. And my mother was disowned by her parents for getting pregnant by a married man. Sometimes, I honestly don't know why she didn't just abort me...”

Letting his words trail off, Inuyasha knew deep down inside that that wasn't entirely true, though it would have made her life so much easier if she had, in one way, at least. But on the other hand, she wouldn't be nearly as rich as she was now, and even though he knew she hadn't kept him solely for a payday it was certainly a nice bonus. But the lie was in saying that he didn't know why she had kept him, even before knowing his father would support them. He knew. She had kept him for the simple fact that he was a part of his father, and she'd simply loved his father too much to not keep the 'precious gift' he had given her, as she'd called him when he was little. For keeping him, and enduring all the hardships she'd faced as a result, all the prejudice, and the dishonor she'd placed upon her family – according to them, at least – Inuyasha was eternally grateful.

He then told Kagome about how his father had decided to be as honorable as he could be, under the circumstances, and how he'd taken care of his mother from the moment of discovering she was pregnant, paying for her luxury apartment when her parents had kicked her out of the house at age nineteen.

“He was even there for my birth, according to my mother, and insisted she give me his family name instead of her own, although in the very few conversations I've had with him over the phone he's made it explicitly clear that as an illegitimate son I've got no claims on the whole family fortune.”

He paused when he spotted their waiter on his way back with their desserts.

Thanking him once the sweet treats were on the table, the waiter told them both to enjoy and then headed away again.

“Did he bring the bill, too?” Kagome asked after he left. “I know it's none of my business, but I'm morbidly curious.”

Inuyasha chuckled, not at her question, but at her comment about being 'morbidly curious' about how much their dinner cost. When they did get the check, if she really wanted to know, he'd tell her, but in the meantime he explained, “Nah, in this type of place they don't bring the check until you ask for it. I bet after we finish our desserts he'll ask if we want anything else, like after dinner coffees.”

“That's a thing?”

“Yup,” he answered.

“Well we can skip that part,” she said then, “'cause I definitely don't need to be drinking coffee at this time of night.”

“You could get decaf,” he pointed out.

“Then what's the point? That's not real coffee.”

He chuckled again.

“You've got a point.”

“So where were we?” Kagome asked then, in between savoring spoonfuls of chocolate goodness. “You said your father said you weren't entitled to your fair share of the family fortune, but then he turns around and gives you a trust fund anyway?”

“Even though he gives me more money a month than I can spend, and I've got so much built up in savings as a result that if the monthly payments stopped today I'd still be set for life so long as I lived modestly, and there's no cap in my trust and it really is just a monthly payment for life that he's deducted from the family fortune, it's scarily still just a drop in the bucket compared to what that total fortune really is,” he told her.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then I'm glad for you, that he didn't just dump your mother when she got pregnant, and instead he did the right thing, making sure you two were going to be taken care of. And if he gave you the family name, then it sounds like he's not ashamed of you, or wants to hide you.”

“He wants me out of the way, to not stir things up, as it were, but everyone close to him knows I exist,” he confirmed then. “They just like to pretend I don't.”

“Well then no wonder you favored a little place like Mushin's Noodles, if you're just not even really into the whole rich person scene because of how your father's family is towards you.”

“Yeah, exactly. I'm not really into all this,” he confessed. “But you definitely deserved the best night out I could give you, so it was worth playing the part to bring you here.”

“Well, if your goal was to give me the best night out that you could, then I'd say you succeeded,” she told him then, a gentle smile on her lips that twisted up into a playful smirk. “Your sacrifice will not go unnoticed,” she joked.

He laughed, and her smile widened. She loved the sound of his laugh.

Seeing her grinning at him like that, it already broke his heart, that he was going to have to break hers, but hopefully she wasn't in love with him yet, like he was her. He had no idea how he was supposed to tell her he didn't think they should see each other anymore, especially after he'd already told her he'd take her to Aka Ryu for their second date.

Open mouth, insert foot...

Maybe if he pretended he owned a dog, instead of confessing that he was one? But he'd have to find the right moment to mention something tactfully. He didn't want to just 'oh by the way' her with something like that.

Deciding to not worry about it right in that second, as soon as they both finished their desserts he flagged their waiter down and asked for the check, and he was already ready with his credit card to hand over to the man when he came back without even looking at the bill. When the receipt that he had to sign came back along with his card, Inuyasha told Kagome the amount, only because she insisted, and then she playfully pretended to faint in her chair.

“Don't think I won't just carry you outta here, 'cause I will,” he teased, which had her sitting up straight again and laughing at herself.

Ready to depart, Inuyasha guided Kagome out of the restaurant the same way he'd guided her in, and then once they were outside he handed the validated claim ticket for his car to the valet attendant.

Noticing a shiver run through Kagome's body he didn't hesitate to slip out of his suit jacket and drape it across her shoulders. She didn't even seem startled, instead just happily wrapping the warm fabric around herself, and he realized she must have heard him slipping out of it. It wasn't that she had super hearing, but it was a quiet night with nobody else outside talking, and she had simply learned to truly listen to all of the sounds around her.

Which proved to be a good thing when a dog somewhere relatively nearby started barking. Kagome immediately flinched and reached out for his arm for support, and not saying anything about it right in that moment as the car arrived, he instead told her softly that the car was ready and then guided her into it. Once he was pulling away, though, he knew he couldn't disregard this one tiny favor of the kami. It gave him the perfect opening he needed without seeming out of place.

“You really are afraid of all dogs, aren't you?” He made sure to sound sad about this fact, which wasn't acting on his part in the slightest. He was just letting his true emotions show instead of concealing them.

“I'm sorry, I know it's silly...” she began, but then picking up on the tone of voice he'd used, like it broke his heart that she was afraid of dogs, Kagome suddenly had a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Why do I not like the sound of your voice when you ask me that?”

He made a show of sighing loudly, as if deciding whether or not he should tell her.

“Let's just say, I'm definitely a dog person,” he decided to confess, then. He was him-hawing around it, being deceptive without really lying, and if she clued in, asked him point blank if he himself was canine, he would be honest with her and fuck the consequences, because he could never outright lie to her, but hopefully he wouldn't have to.

“Oh gods...you own a dog, don't you?” she guessed instead, and he wouldn't lie, but he wouldn't deny it, either.

“Like I said, I'm a dog person.”

“Well...” she began hesitantly then, taking his statement as an affirmative answer as like he had hoped she would. “I mean, maybe if it's a little dog...”

She was trying not to hyperventilate. Really, she was. It wasn't like there was a dog in the car with her in that moment. And hell, it wasn't like her and Yasha were moving in together! So what if the man owned a dog? That didn't mean they couldn't still be friends, or even continue dating, so long as the dog never came along on any of their dates.

But isn't the point of dating someone to hope that there's a chance for a real connection between you?

And let's be honest, even though she wasn't interested in Yasha for his money, the fact that he was rich, and more importantly, that he didn't mind her blindness, had made him seem like the perfect catch, to her at least. He had claimed that he wasn't all that much of a catch, himself, but honestly, he could be covered head to toe in birthmarks for all she cared. It was what was on the inside of a person's soul that mattered to her, and even though she'd lost the ability to actually peer inside a person's soul, unless Yasha was one hell of an actor playing some kind of crazy long game, he seemed genuine enough to her. The fact that he was worried now, about her phobia, just went to show her how serious about her he was in return, if he was afraid that him owning a dog would be a deal breaker on her end.

But was him owning a dog a deal breaker for her? Maybe they could work on it, together and with a therapist, and maybe she could try to get over her fear...

“A white Akita,” he said then, breaking the growing silence between them, and her heart nearly flew up into her throat.

Fucking seriously?! she thought. Of all the dog breeds in the world that he could've owned, it had to be an Akita, and in fucking white?

“I...” he continued then, as if sensing where her thoughts had gone. Her expression had probably made it obvious. “I didn't want to say anything during dinner. I didn't want to make things uncomfortable for you.”

That was considerate of him, she relented. And she also appreciated that he was telling her now instead of not telling her at all. She'd have found out eventually, right? She definitely would have if they were ever going to take their relationship to the next level, and she still wanted to pursue a relationship with him, didn't she? Yes, yes she did. But why did the kami have to screw with her like this?! Here out of nowhere comes the perfect guy, who's nice, funny, caring, not bothered by her disability, and rich as an awesome bonus just for the hell of it, and then he has to go and own the exact same type of dog that blinded her?

True, she'd bet his Akita wasn't demonic. It was just a normal, mortal dog, and probably gentle and loving, but could she face her fears for a man she barely knew?

A man she wanted to get to know?

“Kagome?”

It took the former miko a moment to realize she hadn't said anything in a while. The bottom line was fairly simple, though. Did she still want to date Yasha?

Yes, yes I do.

“I...” Clearing her throat, she tried again. “We'll have to take that...one step at a time, but...but if you are willing to be patient with me on that end, I'd still like to go on that second date, if you...if you still wanted to that is.”

Yes! his heart screamed, although he knew he should start the process of brushing her off. Say something like he'd have to think about it, something to let her know he was unsure of their future now.

He couldn't do it, though. He knew he couldn't go through with that second date, either, especially since he would be his hanyou self and he couldn't risk her overhearing anyone making a comment about that, not to mention he wouldn't be able to pick her up at her house, but in that moment he just couldn't blow it off entirely, regardless.

“I'd love to,” he said instead, though with some reservation to his tone of voice, trying to make himself sound unsure about it instead of giving her a definite guarantee. “Just let me get back to you on when.”

If she sensed that he was setting himself up for the ability to blow her off later, she didn't comment on it, and when they arrived at the Higurashi Shrine she gratefully accepted his offer of walking her up to her door.

“All things happen for a reason,” she said about halfway through their walk, once they reached the top of the shrine steps. “Maybe the kami put you into my life so that I could get over my fear of dogs.”

That was a nice thought. The possibility had him smiling a little to himself as he glanced at the main shrine building on the left while they walked past it.

You guys here that? he thought. He wasn't sure if the kami could read his mind or not but he figured it was worth a try.

“Maybe,” he agreed then.

Getting her to the front door, he greeted Mrs. Higurashi politely when she opened the door, then bidding Kagome a good night, he politely declined her mother's invitation to come in for a while. Not wanting Kagome to worry too much this first night, not wanting to sour what he still hoped had been a very special evening for her, he told her “See you at Mushin's,” and then left, feeling conflicted from the smile his parting words had put across her lips.

Yes, see her at Mushin's, indeed. Unless he made himself scarce during her lunch breaks, but that was a ploy he'd work on gradually as the days turned into weeks until hopefully, she'd just lose interest in him, convinced he was a flake even if he meant well and that he just wasn't worth her patience anymore. Maybe he could convince her that the reason he wasn't a good catch was because he just didn't have his priorities straight. That would be the ideal situation, if he could actually get her to break up with him because she thought he had commitment issues.

“Of course, if you guys really do have any say in all this destiny stuff, the best situation would be that me and her somehow get a happy ending. If you guys could figure out a way to make that work, that'd be awesome,” he said quietly to the main shrine building as he passed it again on his way off the shrine grounds. “Please.”
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Love is Blind