Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Must You Be So Difficult?	By : GizmoTrinket Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 7733 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Inuyasha fandom that someone else does. Nor do I make any profit from anything I do.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Must you be so difficult? Inuyasha             - By GizmoTrinket (Found on AO3, AFF)

____

I've updated Chapters 1-5. Some of the changes have been HUGE. Please, go re-read those before reading this.

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-Chapter notes:

Angst. Some boring plot stuff. And, I'm not quite sure how because it wasn't in the plans, but there's some sexy bits for you as well.

Oh, and it's a bitch of a cliffhanger. 24 pages.

----

-How to read this story:

---- Section break.

-. Small break.

"...(none)..." Speaking aloud. +Internal +External.

'...(none)...' Thinking. +Internal.

^'...(italics)...'^ Inner consciousness (beast/yokai/whomever) thinking. +Internal.

~'...(bold)...'~ Mind-speak. Reiki +/- Yokai + Internal.

~"...(bold)..."~ Mind-speak and speaking aloud simultaneously. +Reiki +Yokai +Internal +External.

~^'...(italics + bold)...'^~ Inner consciousness using mind-speak. +Internal +/-Reiki +/-Yokai.

/...(none).../ Emotional response. Internal. +/-Reiki +/-Yokai.

~/...(bold).../~ Emotional response received through link. +Internal.

^/...(italics).../^ Inner consciousness's emotional response. +Internal.

~^/...(italics + bold).../^~ Inner consciousness's emotional response sent or received through link. +Internal +Reiki +Yokai.

                + Always.
                +/- Can be chosen to be included or not.

                Internal: Can be heard/felt/whatever by inner consciousness(es).
                External: Can be heard if the consciousness(es) have ears and are in range.
                Reiki: Can be heard/felt/whatever by consciousness(es) that are using holy energy to link.
                Yokai: Can be heard/felt/whatever by consciousness(es) that are using yokai energy to link.

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Chapter 6 - Shippo's Father

Sesshomaru exhaled loudly. He was extremely relived. "Thank you." He allowed a little more hope to blossom.

~^'Humph. I don't see how we owe him this.'^~ Beast was pissed and he was passive aggressively letting my half-brother know it.

I felt Sesshomaru's pain at beast's harsh words. He winced and whimpered slightly.

~'We don't.'~ I answered simply. Honestly, I had no idea why I wanted to listen to him. I didn't trust him, and with this latest event that lack of trust was well founded. I didn't know everything about being a mate, but I sure as hell knew that when your mate called out to you for help you fucking answered. 'Unless you don't care.' I managed not to wince physically but I wasn't able to stop my mental reaction to the thought. /Depression./

The bastard took that harder than I thought he would. His face crumbled in pain and his whole body wilted. The guilt was overwhelming. He knew he had fucked up. The hope vanished.

I actually felt kind of bad for him. I shook the feeling off.

'I can't believe this asshole is fated to me. The fates really REALLY hate me. Fucking true mate bullshit.'

^'Agreed.'^ Beast sighed. ^'I'm glad I don't have to hide it from you anymore. Even if I hate that it's him. You know, I think you had the right idea from the get-go. We can't mate this asshole.'^

I was amazed. 'Are you SERIOUS?'

^'Completely.'^ He said with a dead voice.

I wondered what the hell happened while I was gone.

Before anything else happened I needed a fucking drink. And a bathroom break. I made sure I wouldn't run into anyone while doing both. I had the charm in my pocket just in case but...

----

When I returned I looked to Sesshomaru. ~'I'm going to kick you out for a little bit so I can listen to beast. Then I'm going to enter your brain and find the answer to every question I've ever had.'~ I felt weak. My yokai and reiki were low and my muscle mass seemed to be gone again. I was having trouble standing and until I ate something I wasn't sure I could even sit upright through all this.

My brother felt this and fed me some yokai.

~^'I've got a better idea. Let him watch.'^~

~'Fine by me.'~ I shrugged and fell onto the futon. 'Huh, I'm weaker than I thought.' I had intended to be at least halfway graceful in my decent. 'Never mind that.' I closed my eyes and rolled over. Facing away from the door. And Sesshomaru.

I took a deep breath and created a space in my brain. Everyone could see, feel, hear and completely experience beast's memories but the bastard was stuck in a box that he couldn't leave or communicate though. He wouldn't even be able to tell we were getting his emotions the whole time. I smirked.

Sesshomaru didn't fight when I pulled him into my brain box.

~'Go ahead beast.'~

~^'Gladly.'^~

----

I watched as beast replayed the scene leading to my "retreat." It was humiliating. 'Kami, I knew I could be an asshole but damn!' I didn't really want Sesshomaru seeing this but beast knew he was watching so he must have showed it for a reason.

~/Mortification./~

I winced as Sesshomaru's reaction deepened as the scene continued. When Rin got pissed I had to temper the link so I could stand it. Clearly he had no idea we could feel him or he would pretend it didn't bother him.
-.

When I entered my box beast was thrust into control of my body. "Hey, hey, oi!" He whimpered. "Where'd you go?"

"What just happened?" Rin asked.

Beast looked up at her and realized he was in control. "I don't know! I can't find master!" /Panic./

-.
~/Irritation./~

I mentally smacked myself. I needed to hear his thoughts if I was going to understand the emotional reaction. But, I didn't know if I could get his private thoughts without him realizing I was monitoring him. I decided not to risk it.
-.

Rin cocked her head and blinked. "You mean, Inuyasha?"

"Yes!" 'Duh!'

-.
I smirked at his manners.
-.

Rin's eyes narrowed. "He's not there?"

'Oh, kami.' "No." He said it as if he were speaking to an idiot. "And we need to find him!"

Rin growled low in her throat.

-.
It was amusing. It sounded like a human growl. Not near as impressive as mine.

I felt Sesshomaru's short burst of amusement.
-.

Rin initiated a link. ~'Ah, that's better.'~

~'Pup, we have to find him. Now.'~

~'Why? I mean, I think I kinda over-guilted him. He's probably just hiding in some corner trying to come to grips with everything that's happened.' /Irritation./ 'Wait, what happened between Father and Dad? I noticed he wasn't bonded when he came back and Father was really upset...'~

~'Master freaked out. I mean, he explained it to me and it makes sense, he can't trust mate.'~

-.
'Oh kami.' I didn't want Sesshomaru to get all this. I was tempted to block it...

~/Guilt./~

But then, I'd miss out on his emotional reaction. 'Plus it saves me from actually talking to him about it.' I didn't feel like talking about my feelings, ever, so it was a win.
-.

~'What do you mean, freaked out? I mean, Father told Dad about everything, right? They sat down and talked-'~

"HA!" Beast let out a barking laugh.

~'They didn't talk?' /Anger./~

-.
~/Wince./~
-.

"Grrrrr." ~'I told him. I TOLD him he needed to sit down with Dad and talk. TALK!'~ "ARGH!" She threw her hands up in frustration.

-.
I swear if Sesshomaru had ears they'd be slicked back so far they'd be invisible with how bad and embarrassed he felt.
-.

~'Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a problem. But not our biggest one. We need to find master!'~

-.
~/Irritation./~

I huffed in annoyance. 'What is he irritated about?'
-.

~'Calm down. I'm sure he'll come back eventually.'~

~'You don't understand! I can't create new energy without him. I need to be in the background, my mind home, to create yokai. And if I can't make new yokai then when we run out I'll disappear. There's not a reiki consciousness so once I'm gone there's no one to control the body. You know, to make it eat, or drink...'~

Her eyes went wide. ~'What about the new moon?'~

~'What about it? If there's no yokai when the sun goes down there's not going to be any to return when the sun comes back up.'~

~'Shit.'~ She contemplated for a second. She kept narrowing her eyes at him, us, no, him.

~'What, what do you see? Can you see where he is?'~ /Hope./

She let out her breath in a huff, proofing up her bangs. Then she rubbed her face with her tiny hands.

-.
Beast didn't seem to notice but I noticed that her nails were extremely long for a human. They didn't look sharp, like claws, but...
-.

Beast sent her his irritation at her lack of response.

-.
I rolled my eyes. That was her response.

^'Shut up you.'^ He growled at me.
-.

~'No, I can't find him. I think he's there. But it's hard to see inside things from the outside.'~ She paused. ~'Do, do you mind if I enter your brain?'~

He wasn't happy that she couldn't find me but was hopeful when he pulled her in.

-.
The visuals cut off and we just floated in the nothingness that was my brain.

~/Shock./~ Then, ~/amusement./~

I could only assume Sesshomaru was making a snide comment to himself about emptiness.
-.

'Ok, I don't know how to make the levels visible.' Beast said.

'It's ok, Beast. I saw them once, I think I can reproduce it...' Rin said.

Her version of my brain was a lot brighter than mine was. She made the "entry plane" a field of flowers and the "levels" looked like some sort of mix between the skyscrapers I saw them as and a traditional Japanese castle.

Beast made Rin look a lot younger than she looked in real life. She also had little black koinu ears. And fangs.

-.
I rubbed my temples, exasperated and embarrassed. 'Beast...'

And felt Sesshomaru's laughter.

^'Shut up. That's how I see her.'^
-.

They looked around. The entry plane seemed to go on forever. They looked up and saw that other plane but didn't understand how to get there. They saw another plane below too.

~'So? Where do we start?'~ Rin asked beast.

Beast shrugged. 'The levels, I guess?'

-.
He paused his memory there. ~^'We looked in every single level. Do you have any idea how many levels there are?'^~ He glared at me.

~'Nooooo...'~

~^'There are over 500. 500. And we searched. Every. One.'^~

I had to ask, ~'How? I mean, they aren't living spaces. They're...'~ I frowned. ~'...states of awareness-es?'~

~^'Not for me! Rin couldn't even enter them properly.'^~

That was interesting. Sesshomaru thought so too. I felt his desire to see them for himself.

~'Show me how you see them.'~ I commanded.

He tried, but I couldn't see anything. I wanted to ask Sesshomaru if he could see anything from beast because the only emotion I was getting from him was confusion but I didn't.

They spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to get to the planes above and below the "entry" but they couldn't figure it out. Beast was able to discern enough about them to conclude I wasn't there. Watching them gave me some ideas of my own. I was eager to try them out but beast reminded me that this was more important.

^'Don't you want to find out why I'm so pissed at "mate"?'^

'Right, right.'
-.

Rin and beast decided to give up and exited my brain.

----

"Hey, they're waking up!"

'The alpha-bitch is tooooo loud.'

"Rin-sama, Rin-sama! Are you ok?"

Beast heard Sango shake Rin and he growled low under his breath.

"I-I'm ok," she coughed, "Sango-sama."

Beast watched as Sango got Rin some water and proceeded to smother her with affection. He growled a warning when Sango hugged her so hard she squeaked. He was irritated that Sango didn't seem to care about him but more worried that she was going to hurt his pup in her enthusiasm.

Sango froze when she heard the growl and turned, her eyes full of fear.

Beast rolled his eyes. 'Honestly,' he thought, 'I never once tried to kill them.'

-.
Sesshomaru reacted with vexation and heartbreak to that remark.

I noted his reaction and told myself to ask beast why he never tried to kill my pack but did attack his supposed mate. Later. If I kept interrupting beast we'd be here forever.
-.

To avoid her overreacting to his presence he said, "Hey, I'd like some water too."

That seemed to have the opposite reaction to what he wanted. The taijiya let out a deafening screech, pushed Rin to the ground behind her protectively and attacked.

Beast sighed in irritation as he dodged her attacks.

-.
~/Anger./~
-.

"No! Sango-sama, stop!" Rin cried.

Sango paused.

Beast landed his back flip next to the water bucket and sipped some out of cupped hands.

-.
'Show off.' I admonished him lightheartedly.
-.

Miroku chose that moment to come through the door-flap. Beast dodged his attacks until Rin convinced him that I-beast was safe.

Beast allowed Rin to explain the situation, which she did an extraordinarily poor job of ("Inuyasha's missing in his head somewhere so Beast is in charge. We were looking for him.") and the couple allowed beast and Rin out to relieve themselves. Everyone was worried the charm wouldn't work but it did. Beast was thankful for that. He hated being indoors.

"So, what do we do?" Sango asked once we were all settled again.

Beast's ears swiveled at the sound of Rin's stomach growling. "Well, we gotta eat." He was avoiding telling the whole truth.

-.
I was a little surprised that beast had taken up my habit of dumbing down my language when around others. 'Another thing to add to the list of things to ask him later.'
-.

Both Sango and Miroku looked uncomfortable at that request. The monk rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"I can hunt for us, ya know. Ya'll don't haveta be put out or notthin'."

The couple looked more uncomfortable and Miroku did his annoying nervous chuckle thing.

-.
I felt both Sesshomaru's current and beast's remembered indignation at the same time. They assumed the couple didn't want beast loose in the village. I knew better and waited for the hammer to drop.
-.

"What?" Rin finally asked.

Her question was answered not by the couple but by the door-flap rustling.

Beast stiffened. He felt and smelt a yokai. He leapt in front of Rin in a protective crouch.

-.
~/Approval./~
-.

"Hey, what's everyo-" the sentence was cut off with a gasp.

Beast sniffed to make sure and straightened once he was sure. He stayed in front of Rin though.

-.
That reaction both bothered and pleased me.
-.

"I-I-Inu... yasha?" Shippo struggled over my name.

-.
Beast and I felt a pang of guilt. Sesshomaru did too.

'Geez, I forgot all about the kid.' That made me feel horrible.
-.

Beast opened his mouth to speak but shut it once he realized he had no answer. He wasn't his master.

When no one responded Shippo circled beast sniffing. Once he was done he took several steps back. We smelt the tears hidden by his bangs.

Beast put his hand out and opened his mouth even though he still hadn't found the words.

"What the HELL?!" Shippo's head shot up and the tears flowed freely. "You're ALIVE?!"

"Uh-" Beast had no idea what to say to that.

"After all this time?! And you, what? Decided, what?! WHAT?!" He shouted his confusion as tiny claws dug into his palms and blood slowly flowed.

-.
'Oh, kami.' I felt like shit.
-.

"Uh..." I heard what beast wanted to say, 'I wanted to go back. I never forgot about you. I'm sorry.'

-.
I was very glad he didn't voice those thoughts.
-.

"I'm sorry, kit." He settled.

"Sorry? You're sorry. That's great." He said with venom. "'Cuz that just fixes everything doesn't it? That's what they said too." He pointed at the couple. "At least they had an excuse. You were supposed to be there when I got back."

-.
'Oh, kami.' I didn't realize it was possible for me to feel worse. But, apparently it was.
-.

"You know what sorry doesn't fix?" He glared into beast's eyes, undaunted by the red. "It doesn't fix coming home, super excited to see my parents-"

-.
'Oh, shit.' I felt a powerful sense of foreboding.
-.

"I returned from training and EVERYONE was gone! Keade-baba was dead, the couple was gone, and the village was happily celebrating because my father and the kuro miko who belonged to a yokai left! The only thing they knew was that the man I considered to be my father had BEGGED a yokai to kill my mother because she no longer wanted to marry him! Because he kept cheating on her! The yokai had even dissolved her body in acid so they didn't have to hold a funeral! Then they LAUGHED! Said she got what she deserved for consorting with a hanyou. Because my kind could NEVER be trusted. Then they tried to KILL me! AND IT WAS ALL. YOUR. FAULT! IF YOU HADN'T KEPT CHEATING ON MY MOTHER SHE WOULD HAVE TRUSTED YOU ENOUGH TO MARRY YOU!!! AND YOU KILLED HER OUT OF SPITE!! YOU BEGGED YOUR ASSHOLE BROTHER TO FUCKING KILL MY MOTHER, YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT YOURSELF!!! AFTER EVERYTHING SHE DID FOR YOU! YOU'D STILL BE STUCK TO A FUCKING TREE IF NOT FOR HER!!! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!"

-.
I felt so much guilt my heart broke. 'The first time he called me father and I wasn't even there for it.' I mentally snorted at how I avoided the point.

~^'The first time he calls us father and he's telling us how he hates you.'^~

I clutched my heart as beast twisted the knife.

It didn't help that Sesshomaru wasn't faring much better.

I growled. 'Why, why does he never make sense?!' Then my eyes widened. 'Oh, shit. The kit's right.'

^'What?!'^

I whimpered. 'He's right. If I had been, if I hadn't always gone off with Kikyo-'

Beast cut me off. ^'Shut. Up. Watch the rest before you freak out.'^ His voice held so much alpha-command in it I obeyed unthinkingly.
-.

The pup growled in my arms. Then she leapt across the room with impossible speed and slammed into the kit throwing them both to the floor. "DON'T." She punched him in the face. "SPEAK." Another punch. "OF." Punch. "THINGS." This punch drew blood from the kit's nose. "YOU." Punch. "DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!" She punched him so hard she broke the skin on her knuckles.

-.
~/Awe. Pride./~

I was tempted to have the same reaction if Rin wasn't fighting her brother.
-.

"BITCH!" The kit roared and threw her to the wall by her bandaged arm. "What could YOU possibly understand?!"

-.
That pissed both Sesshomaru and me off.
-.

Beast caught the pup as gently as he could before she could hit the wall. But he had to move very quickly and her breath got knocked out of her when she landed on him when he landed on his back.

The kit released a scream so loud his throat became raw. "Sure, defend HER! You don't even move when she HITS me!!" He threw himself at my exposed neck. Beast didn't want to hurt him and there was no way to defend without doing so or putting the pup in danger. 'Well, I'm going to die anyway...' He thought as he exposed my neck further to keep his attention away from the pup.

-.
I was in shock.
-.

Rin hadn't regained control of her lungs but we could feel her fury. She flared her reiki around her hand and backhanded him across the hut.

-.
~/Glee./~

I was impressed. It was next to impossible to fight when the air was knocked from you. And the flare of reiki seemed to give her a major strength boost. She even managed to temper it so it didn't burn him.
-.

She started breathing again and tried to attack him some more. "You will NOT hurt my Dad!!" She screeched.

The kit lifted his head, spat out a tooth and glared.

Beast held her struggling body to mine. She put up a valiant effort but she was no match for his strength. When she started to flare her reiki again he had to stop her. "Pup, stop! That's ENOUGH!"

She glared but reigned in her reiki and stopped struggling. "You're lucky, brat. I could have killed you easily."

-.
~/Preening./~

I laughed at my brother's reaction. That, and she looked and sounded so much like him just then.
-.

Beast sighed. "Look, I'm sorry that your mother died. But it wasn't my fault-"

He interrupted. "Like hell it wasn't! I hear about anyone else begging for my mother's death."

"You don't understand-"

He interrupted again. "How could I possibly misinterpret that?!"

"She was trying to kill our pack! We had to heal the slayer's baby, she almost killed it-"

"You're fucking lying. My mother would NEVER do that."

The monk took that opportunity to speak up. "No, Shippo-kun. That's true. Our youngest carries some of Inuyasha's reiki because of it. I watched the whole thing. There was no way to save Kagome-sama. She had become a kuro miko and was insane. Inuyasha did what he had to do to-"

"Liar. You're lying. I don't believe you." But, he seemed more unsure than he was earlier.

The taijiya shook her head. "He's not. She would have killed us all." Then she muttered loud enough for everyone to hear, "Of course, if he hadn't cheated with Kikyo-sama all the time she wouldn't have believed those girls, gone dark and lost her mind..."

-.
I flinched at the instant regret and guilt I felt.
-.

'Great. That was SUPER helpful.' Beast was sure the kit wouldn't listen to him anymore after the slayer's comment but he had to try. "That is true. But the reason-"

"Was that you're a two-timing asshole?" She muttered.

He growled.

-.
So did my brother and I.
-.

So did the pup. "No, you stupid cunt. It was because he was going through his first heat and Kagome-sama suppressed his yokai with the kotodama no nenju so much that he couldn't hear Beast. If Beast wasn't being suppressed Inuyasha never would have gone to either woman because he'd already met his TRUE MATE. It wasn't even possible for him to RUT her let alone mate her."

-.
I winced at that. Somehow it made me feel inadequate.

~/Wince./~

'What, why is he wincing? ARGUH!' I was frustrated with myself.
-.

Her announcement was met with stunned silence.

~'I think you've ruined your reputation, pup.'~ Beast thought at Rin. He wanted to add that his master wasn't technically two-timing because he made it very clear to the alpha-bitch that he chose the dead one over her and that it was her choice to come back and stay. But the pup wasn't finished.

~'I don't care. This is important.'~ "So, it was actually Kagome-sama's fault she died. I understand that the beads were necessary at first but they should have been removed as soon as possible. Which, from what I understand was three days later after the whole Yura incident. Keade-sama said she tried to convince that sadistic bitch countless times to remove them but she always refused. She liked controlling Inuyasha. She didn't really care about him at all." The pup's voice seeped venom.

-.
I felt disheartened at her statement. Especially since she knew more than others.

~/Agreement./~
-.

Monk: "Well..." Slayer: "I don't think that's true..." Kit: "That is NOT true! She LOVED him."

The pup rolled her eyes. ~'Not from what I saw.'~

Beast wanted to agree with her, but he didn't. "I know, in her own strange way, the miko did love us." 'Honestly that's why I didn't kill her every time I broke free. I may have disliked her but she was pack and I owed her a lot.' ~'Plus, it's not like my true mate acted much better...'~ Both he and I were upset about that. He knew we were made for each other but remembering just a few of the things his master went though because of their mate had left a bad taste in beast's mouth that was getting worse with time. 'I mean, I knew, but I wasn't sentient enough to fully experience every aspect.' And he knew there were much, MUCH worse memories.

-.
~/Guilt. Shame./~
-.

"Use her name! She hated it when you didn't use her name." The kit growled.

~'There are good reasons for why he acted that way.'~ Rin comforted Beast.

~'I hope that's true.'~ 'The only way to convince Master we could trust him is if our mate wasn't truly a petty dick.' ~'Because there is a chasm the size of an ocean to overcome.'~

-.
~/Terror./~

That emotion from Sesshomaru did not bode well.
-.

Shippo spat out more blood and growled.

Beast worried that Shippo would attack again but didn't want to move Rin behind him in case it triggered him.

The room became watery and swayed.

Beast tried to shake it off but everyone's voices started to echo. And then blackness started creeping into his vision.

~'Beast, no! Hold on!'~ Rin called in our head.

He didn't have the energy to do as she commanded. He retreated and called out to our mate in inu. ~^'Help!'^~ He knew it was pointless, by the time he arrived it'd probably be too late, but couldn't stop himself.

-.
~/Panic./~

I ignored the painful stab of worry from my brother. 'It has to be a conditioned response.'
-.

Beast continued the story. 'I smell something pure and delicious.' /Worry./ 'But...' The world faded to black.

-.
Beast stopped producing memories and just "talked" for a while.

~^'I woke up after a few days. Turns out that the pup and I were in our head for, like, three days. So, we'd been there, like, a week-'^~

I felt a twinge of pain. Beast was doing the "like" thing. 'The only other who'd done that was...' I hesitated but I knew I needed to think her name. It was just easier sometimes than others. '...Kagome.'

~^/Guilt./^~ Beast felt bad for hurting me. He hadn't intended on talking like the old alpha-bitch. The pup had picked up the habit from her and he was mimicking the pup. ~^'Sorry, Master.'^~

~/Vexed./~

I sighed. I really, really needed into Shesshomaru's brain. 'First things first. It's ok Beast. Just talk.'

~^'We'd gotten dangerously low on yokai. We'd needed a source since even when I passed out I couldn't produce any. Of course, my chosen mate had better things to do-'^~

~/Shame. Regret./~

'BEAST.' I snarled. It was one thing to be snarky it was another to be that blatantly hurtful.

He snarled back, but it was a submissive snarl. Inu for I don't like it but I'll obey. I didn't bother to push for an apology.

He continued, ~^'The pup had communicated the problem through mokomoko to him-'^~ He snarled the word.

I let out an exasperated sigh.

~^'...and he said to try to feed me yokai or reiki. Well, the pup fed me reiki, which was good because I couldn't produce that on my own either-'^~

~/Curiosity./~

~^'...but mokomoko couldn't feed me. I'd never linked with her and although I woke up every once in a while I wasn't coherent.'^~ He sensed my question and answered, ~^'We don't know why we couldn't link. It should have been fine because it was the lord's-'^~ He said the title like it was a curse.

I shook my head. It looked like that was as close to respectful the brat was going to be. Then I tilted my head, 'since when do I CARE if ANYONE is respectful to the bastard? Or if anyone is respectful to anyone?'

Beast didn't let my thoughts continue, ~^'yokai. But, anyway, the pup was able to get in my head and perform a link with the kit so he could feed us.'^~

I was taken aback. 'The kit was my responsibility. I had never really seen him as my son, more like an annoying little brother. But that didn't make me any less responsible for his safety. I was his alpha, leaving him, without even the care of the beta or new alpha-bitch was totally irresponsible and reprehensible. '

~/Depression./~

My eyes widened. 'Sesshomaru can hear me!' Then I realized my mistake. 'Shit.' Now, he knew I could feel him.

^'Idiot.'^

'Shaddup.' I figured I might as well let the bastard out of the box. I was about to do so when Beast stopped me.

~^'No, trust me. You'll need to be separated.'^~

'What?' I wondered what could possibly be so bad. That horrible feeling of foreboding crept back up.

~^'Anyway, the pup got me back up and moving. The pack decided to name me Yoshi the houshi. They thought it was amusing to name me "good luck" because the pup's meant "cold, severe." Neither of us were amused.

~^'I continually praised the kit on his skills. The charm worked well. The pup and I spent our days helping the guards identify reiki signatures so the town wouldn't come under attack from holy people. Sure, if there wasn't a taint then the person wasn't evil. But non-discriminatingly killing yokai isn't considered evil and part of the town's population was yokai. I'd even seen some hanyou. That little bat hanyou was here with her mother. I didn't ask why.

~^'My inability to name people was a problem. The leader of the monks was our beta and they didn't give me any trouble when I was with them. They just thought I was weird. The pup took over the leadership of the miko and they hated me. The previous alpha had it out for us. She hated yokai and men. Since the pup and I were known accomplices of the lord of the west-'^~ He said the title super disrecsptfully and I was surprised the mocking tone didn't get a response from the boxed holder. ~^'we were on her shit list. The pup, surprisingly, more so than I. At least, at first. The bitch thought she was the yokai's whore. That fight would have been entertaining if it weren't so fucking creepy. When it came out that I was the one he was after... well...'^~

He changed the subject before I could ask what happened.

~^'We also discussed the "relationship." Or, lack thereof. She wouldn't discuss anything interesting with me. She said that was his place. I could feel her reluctance so I didn't push the issue.

~^'The kit's charm affected her sight so we stayed bonded all the time so she could monitor my energy levels and feed me when needed. The pup was so taxed between her duties and my feedings that she ate an enormous amount and slept all night every night.

~^'I was worried about her. She was constantly wrapped in mokomoko but if she was having conversations with the lord she didn't allow any part of them through the connection. Every once in a while her mood would sour for no apparent reason. As more time passed it happened more and more frequently. Then, she stopped wearing it.

~^'The day of the upcoming new moon was stressful the first time and it didn't get any easier. Everyone in our pack was scared. What would happen without you there? Would you come back with the sunrise? As the day progressed I got weaker and weaker. By the time night fell I was completely incoherent. The pup said the moment the sun fell behind the mountain I fell over and we were unresponsive. She told me later that she entered our brain and searched for you all night but couldn't find either of us each month. It was just her with me all night this time because the beta and his mate's pup was sick and they didn't want to draw attention, more attention, to me.

~^'The pup had checked all around us before she went on her search. But, she miscalculated. As head of the miko it was her responsibility to aid in childbirth and one of the villagers went into labor but the other miko said they'd handle it when they saw how overworked and tired she was. The pup told the beta miko not to disturb her that night but the birth didn't progress properly and no one knew what to do. They were desperate so they ignored her request.

~^'The beta miko entered our hut without warning. The pup was too distracted to sense her aura in time. Neither of us thought to keep the charm on inside the hut. She took it from me so she could see without the interference earlier. Besides, I was human.

~^'When I woke up I heard the beta miko scream. I was low on yokai because I was unable to feed the day before (I was too out of it). The pup was weak from staying up all night and neither of us foresaw what happened next.'^~

I was thrust into another memory.
-.

"W-w-what did you do to that man?" The beta miko stuttered.

"Nothing. I was just assisting him through-"

"You turned him into a yokai!"

"NO! He's a-"

"I KNEW you were evil!"

Beast sat up slowly, readjusting to being aware again. Waking up in control was unnerving for him. He prepared to draw some reiki from the pup.

-.
~^'I had the worst timing ever.'^~
-.

A wave of purification power was thrown at Beast. He didn't have enough reiki to deflect the attack and He couldn't absorb the energy without a link. He stared wide-eyed at what would become our death. ~^'Mate!'^~ He instinctually cried.

-.
~/Upset./~

I huffed at the vague emotion and nodded Beast to continue.
-.

The pup threw herself in front of us and shielded us the best she could. But, she still didn't know how to make shields against un-tainted holy power. She tried but in her haste she unthinkingly stole Beast's yokai to make a shield.

He didn't have enough available to do anything but dampen the wave. And since Rin was acting as a yokai conduit she took the full blast. As soon as she realized what was happening she terminated the link to protect us.

Beast tried to grab her but he was now not only disoriented but also weak. He didn't have any links to draw power from.

He watched her fall through my fingertips into the smoldering remains of the fire.

He was in the process of pulling her out when the beta bitch gathered reiki for another wave.

-.
~/Rage./~

That pissed me off too. I hoped she was dead.
-.

'Must. Kill. Bitch.' He growled in rage. He (gently) threw the pup onto the futon and launched at the onna.

His tackle threw them through the reed door and outside the hut.

She screamed in anguish as her arm shattered under her.

Beast's smile turned feral at the sound of her pain. He was torn for a moment. She needed to suffer for hurting our pup but she also needed to be eliminated quickly so he could care for the pup.

-.
~^'It was that moment of hesitation that cost me dearly.'^~
-.

Another miko had come to see what the holdup was. She was just outside the hut and had heard what the beta miko had said.

'Why does she have weapons?' Beast pondered. Then he felt the purifying arrow pierce his lung and smelt the burnt flesh. She was weak, which was the only reason we survived. It took the last of his reiki to keep the damage contained.

He coughed blood all over the miko below him and let out a gurgling roar as he pulled the offensive stick from himself.

-.
I didn't wince at the remembered pain. 'After all, we've had worse. That's nothing.'

My brother did. It was like he felt nauseated too.

'Weird.'

Beast ignored us and continued.
-.

He was now outnumbered and with only a little yokai and no reiki clearly overpowered. He leapt to the hut's roof and flattened our body to the back part of the roof to hide from further attacks. He tried to check on the pup with his other senses but it was no use.

Then, a burst of panic when he remembered he'd left the fang inside.

The miko's scream brought more villagers and soon the whole town "knew" there was a violent yokai on the loose. The guards were coming and the holy people were already talking strategy.

He yelled that he wasn't dangerous, that the miko had attacked the pup but he didn't have enough breath to speak loud enough for them to hear over each other and the warning alarms. The lung was filled with blood and in the process of collapsing.

He didn't even have the yokai available to stop the bleeding. He could only move at human speed, boosting his speed with yokai or reiki wasn't an option. So, he couldn't run away. 'I wouldn't want to anyway. I needed to protect the pup. If they thought she was a kuro miko they might try to kill her. At least right now they are focused on me.'

-.
~^I was terrified. If I didn't live I couldn't protect the pup, we'd both die. The alpha-bitch, the beta and probably their entire family too, for being accomplices. 'I screamed for my mate.'^~

Beast then remembered the call. I was fascinated for about a third of a second. It was different than the others and I couldn't properly translate it.

~/Terror, self-loathing, horror, guilt, pain.../~

Sesshomaru's emotions were freaking me the fuck out. Because he was freaking the fuck out. It was like he was having a panic attack only it was rage toward himself and the feeling of helplessness was staggering. I was honestly worried he'd hurt himself somehow.

I dismembered the box and found him, curled in a ball, trying to scratch his mental skin off.

'Ok, he's lost it.' It was horrifying.

Beast said nothing but radiated disapproval as I restrained my flailing brother. I couldn't bind him with reiki here (I tried) but this was my brain and I still managed to get him to stop trying to kill his mental self. I even healed the damaged he'd done.

~'Look at me.'~ I commanded, alpha rising in my voice. Based on what I'd read of Kagome's books he needed someone to pull him out of this state and comfort him. To pull him out I needed to be dominant (they used some other word but it meant the same thing. I think).

He went completely submissive. Limp, neck bared, submissive sound and everything.

That was also terrifying. 'But, on the upside, he's not trying to claw anything anymore...'

I was tempted to grab his chin and force his face to mine. But, that was the human way. And he was an inuyokai.

Beast refused to assist (I made a mental note to punish him later) and I had very little yokai instincts without him.

'Shit.'

I could only think of one thing to do. Rely on the inu instincts I had in abundance.

I growled my approval and he relaxed minutely. I straddled him, 'How the hell does he still smell good?!' and licked his jaw.

He let out another submissive whimper and I nipped his jaw. He twitched under me and groaned at the small pain. But, not in the right way, the submissive way. The other way, the good way.

That sound went right to my... mental cock and I attacked his neck. His wrists were still in my hands and I forced them over his head. He started grinding into me and I nipped him to remind him who's in charge.

He retuned to submissive stance and I rewarded him with several bruising kisses. Going down his neck I decided he was wearing too much and, since I was in control in my brain, vanished his top so I didn't have to stop. He mewled his pleasure but didn't move.

~'Stay.'~ I barked in inu and released his wrists. My hands gliding over his perfect, smooth, toned abdomen.

He twitched but obeyed so I rewarded him by lightly running my claws down his sides.

He wiggled and scrunched up his face. He'd yet to open his eyes, which was disappointing but he didn't move his arms.

'It tickles!' I realized. I was tempted to torture him but the pink nub of his nipple begged for attention.

I wasn't going to deny such a well behaved bitch his reward.

I latched on roughly with my teeth, but not my fangs, and he gasped and arched his back. I felt his massive erection rub against me in the process and I, somehow, got harder. 'Kami, I want to touch it.' But, my asinine virgin nerves prevented it. I switched nipples and tweaked the recently abandoned one between my fingers while testing just how much pain was too much on this new one.

He threw his head back and panted between arches and howls. No matter how rough I was with him he only felt pleasure. I didn't want to push any further than I already had and end up actually hurting him so I stopped and sat up.

Sesshomaru's head snapped up, eyes wide, and he whimpered for more. Chest heaving with his pants, his mouth open slightly, hair totally disheveled and face blushed perfectly.

I saw he hadn't moved his arms and I was tempted, oh so tempted, to vanish his bottoms and fuck him senseless; staring into those molten eyes the entire time. I wanted to find out how many times I could bring him to orgasm before he passed out. Then wake him up and have him suck my dick and cum on his face. 'Oh, kami!' My dick was painfully hard now.

'Why not?' I reasoned. 'After all, he's being such a good boy-'

Something punched my head, hard.

I turned and snarled ferally at whatever being that had a death wish. None were stupid enough to interrupt two such powerful beings during mating.

Beast gave me just enough time to realize I was essentially mentally masturbating before he cuffed my head again.

This time is was Sesshomaru who snarled. The sound of one protecting his mate. He was sitting on his elbows and had eyes narrowed and teeth bared.

Beast froze. Neither of us knew whether my brother would recognize him without fluffy's help in his current state of mind. Or what damage could be inflicted in my brain.

'Fuck.' I couldn't remember the inu for: don't get involved- I'm your alpha. So, I settled for shooting him a glare and settling more of my weight on him.

He huffed his acceptance but kept shifting glares to my beast. He also didn't lie back down.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and rubbed my face. And tried to will away my erection. It was just as hard, if not harder to will away a mental erection. I sighed and pulled up the image of Jaken Rin had given me.

'Bleh.' I shook the image away. 'That did it.'

When I opened my eyes I saw my brother looking up at me in confusion. He was wordlessly asking why I didn't dispose of the interloper and finish what I started. Not the confusion I was hoping for. I needed his stupid, arrogant, dick of a rationality in the eyes with confusion as to how he ended up like this. Because I was certain he wouldn't be on his back if he was in his right mind.

His expression changed.

'Kami, he's sexy.' He totally had "do me" face right now. He had dipped his head so he was looking up at me through hooded lids. His tongue darted around his lips and although the panting had slowed, it hadn't stopped.

'Nnnn... I want to. But I can't. But, kami-sama that face... No. No. You're supposed to be doing... something...'

~^'You wanna find out what happens to your kit or not?'^~ Beast said harshly.

I felt my hair smack Sesshomaru in the face with the speed I used to turn my head to Beast. ~'What? Shippo? Something happened to Shippo?'~

Beast nodded, his face twisted horribly.

My brother growled his disapproval when I leapt off him and grabbed Beast. ~'WHAT. HAPPENED. TO. MY. KIT?!'~ I roared.

Beast turned his head and I could feel the pain emanating from him. I even saw a tear...

I was scared. Beast wouldn't cry like that for no reason... ~'He better not be...'~ I didn't want to think it but I did, ~'dead.'~

He continued to cry. I could feel the sorrow he was drowning in.

~'He better not be fucking dead!!!'~

He didn't respond in any way.

~'Are you FUCKING kidding me?! I didn't even mean to leave! I just needed a space to think! Kami fucking shit!'~ There were no words for my feelings and I swallowed them. ~'Can nothing ever go right? I just wanted to sit and think about my life in peace for an hour. And yes, escape for a little bit. Is that so much to ask? After all I've gone through is it too much to ask that I be allowed to do that when fate throws me a shit storm?'~ I was mostly in shock and denial but there was a heavy edge of guilt and shame.

~'What the HELL happened?!'~ I demanded. There was a shred. A small, dangerous, shred of hope that Shippo could still be alive.

And I clung to it.

____

Chapter notes:

I think that's the worst cliffhanger in the existence of fanfiction. (It's totally not. But, it's still pretty bad.) I actually didn't want to end it there. But, the next scene is going to be over 10 pages so I thought it would be too much.

I'll have chapter 7 up faster, I promise. I'm not going to leave you here for a month. I'm very sorry about that by the way. Changed pills. Not really an excuse, but it kinda is.

----

Thank you:

naturechild02 on DA who gave me the idea to change the formatting to make mind-speak more noticeable. You can find her on twitter: @authormkrepps

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Editing notes:

Written 1/22/16-2/18/16:
Notes: Urgh, it's not working right. I'll have to scrap it.

Re-written 2/18/16-2/29/16:
Notes: Changed formatting/layout/POV and added a random sex scene. Not sure why this chapter needed sex, it just kinda happened. I didn't stop it. Beast did. (*laughs at own joke*) Also, I don't know why there are so many puns in here. There's a lot in chapter one of Sess's POV too.

Paper edited 3/1/16:
Notes: Fixed a few words/formatting/scenes. Nothing major.

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Disclaimer:

I don't own anything. Well, actually I own a lot of shit. Some of it is pretty cool. All of it is worth next to nothing. I really don't own anything that is in the Inuyasha universe. I kinda own this plot and all OC that come with it. No profit is made from this little gem. But, due to the nature of bi-polar I probably won't finish it. So... yeah. I don't care if you want to finish it if I haven't updated in over a year.

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Other notes:

If anyone knows of a pdf site I can upload this story to I can add color coding to further help with any confusion about who's speaking please msg me.
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