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Brothers Alternate Ending Posted	By : LindaSims Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 11317 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Brothers
Warning: ANGST ALERT
Chapter 7
            “Ohayo, Kagome. How are you today?” The old woman carefully surveyed the sad,
despondent face in front of her as she set her basket of herbs on the table. “Are you alright?”
            “I...I’m fine, Kaede. I’m just tired.” Kagome tried to smile at the old woman but it was
difficult. She didn’t have much to smile about these days. “Shard hunting is so much harder
without Inuyasha around. I never really realized how much of the work he did until he left.”
            “Hmm, that is usually the way of things, child.” Kaede started unloading the basket. “It is
always difficult to see how important some things or some people are to us until they are no
longer with us to be used or leaned upon. I miss him too.”
            “You do?”
            “Hai, he was much company for me since you set him free. Most of his time was spent
here in my hut. I had almost started to look on him as part of my family...I was used to him being
here. It is lonely now with him gone.” She carried the plants over to a second, smaller table and
began separating them. “He could be brusque and rude, but he was also very helpful and kind,
Kagome. There was much good inside his soul.”
            “Hai...there was.” A deep ache squeezed around her heart and she felt the burn of tears in
her eyes. “I...I don’t know what to do, Kaede. I want him to come back, but... but then I think
about what happened and I...”
            “Kagome, you never did explain to me what happened between the two of you that made
him decide to leave. All you said was he and Lord Sesshoumaru stopped fighting and were
making a new relationship that didn’t involve them killing each other...I sense there is much more
to this than you let on. Am I right?”
            “Hai,” she whispered and hung her head. “There is more.”
            “Perhaps you should tell me, ne?”
            “I don’t think you would understand, Kaede. I didn’t.”
            “Perhaps I won’t understand, but talking about it may help you put it into perspective.
Hai?”
            “Maybe, I’m just so confused about it all and I don’t know what to do.”
            “Then come, help me wash the herbs and we’ll talk. Mayhaps, together we can figure it
out.” Kagome nodded and joined Kaede at the table.
            “Thank-you, Kaede. Maybe it would help to talk about it.”
                                                            OoooOoooO
            It was strange but he had always enjoyed the smell of water. Ever since he was a pup he
was lured by the fragrance of the moist stones, the moss, the damp sand and mud...everything
about water fascinated him. It was a wonder he hadn’t drowned years ago, but then, dogs were
natural swimmers. That thought never failed to bring a smile and a laugh to his mouth. It was
also probably the only thing that had saved him from that particular demise. Lucky dog.
            He considered every stream and pond he found his automatically simply because he found
it, but that rule couldn’t really stand now that he was living in his brother’s lands. Technically
everything here belonged to Sesshoumaru–including the water, but that didn’t stop him from
exploring and sniffing out every fresh mountain stream, lake, and pond he could find within
running distance. A hanyou had to bath after all...didn’t he? And he couldn’t abide the hot-springs under the palace. He had just never grown accustomed to the hot water thing. It just
wasn’t for him. Now a nice cold lake or pond with a waterfall? That was perfect for him.
Especially if there were some good sized boulders to bask on after he bathed.
            It took him a couple of weeks, but Inuyasha found the perfect place. It was about a half
an hour’s run from the palace, nestled inside some thick evergreens, and surrounded on three
sides by high stones. A three-tier waterfall splashed into the clear blue of the pond, feeding it a
constant supply of fresh water. The seclusion and privacy of the area was grand, and the hanyou
declared it his favorite place.
            Tonight he was there, but not for the usual reasons. He was not listening to the gentle
tumble of the waterfall, or the soothing splash of the waves on the shore. Instead, he was perched
high on top of one of the massive boulders and gazing down into his own wavering reflexing as it
peered back at him with the help of the full moon. His hands were tucked inside thee billowing
sleeves of his haori and his legs were drawn up on either side of him. His sword lay quiet beside
him. A gentle breeze softly wafted through his hair blowing it across his solemn face; a few
strands caught in the thickness of his eyelashes, but he didn’t seem to notice. His thoughts were
else where. They were on his brother’s spell book and his startling proposition.
            ‘He’s right, it is what I’ve always wanted, but... is it what I want now?’ Inuyasha shifted
and sniffed the air absently. ‘I’ve been trying to get the shiken jewel for longer than I want to
think about so I could wish to be Tai Youkai...do I really want it now? Is it that important to me
to become a full-blooded youkai?’ He stared up at the moon and thought about what happened
every month on the new moon. He hated it when he turned human because he hated how weak it
made him feel. The night he walked into the palace gardens and Sesshoumaru nearly attacked him
told him a lot about why he hated feeling weak. If the Youkai had not recognized his scent, he
would have killed him and, in his human form, he would not have been able to protect himself.
That was a sobering thought.
            ‘Now Sesshou is worried he’s going to kill me when we’re making love...I hadn’t thought
about that. Could it really happen? Could he lose control to the point he changed into his
Youkai and tear me to pieces?’ This was an even more disturbing thought than the previous one.
Inu didn’t want to be afraid of his brother. He had never allowed himself to feel fear for
Sesshoumaru, even when he was a little boy. It was a matter of personal pride and honor for him
not to let the older Youkai break his spirit and make him wither before his cruelty. But was he
right about this? Should he be afraid?
            ‘I don’t want to be afraid of you, Sesshou.’ He covered his face with his hands and
heaved a broken sigh as he struggled to come to terms with the choice in front of him. ‘I don’t
know what to do... Otousan, I wish you were here. You’d know what to do.’
                                                                          OoooOoooO

“Where’s Uncle Inu?”
            Sesshoumaru looked up from his desk as the little girl wandered into his study. Her face
was a mask of worry and she was rubbing one eye. It looked as though she’d been crying. “What
do you mean, Rin-chan?” Sesshoumaru left what he was doing and knelt down in front of the
child to wipe at her wet cheeks with the sleeve of his gi. “Isn’t he in our room or out in the
gardens?”
            “Iie,” she sniffled, shaking her head. “I can’t find him anywhere and he promised to tell
me a bedtime story and tuck me in.”
            “I see.” A strange feeling of unease passed over the Youkai as his mind raced over the last
time he saw his brother and the conversation they shared. Inuyasha had been extremely upset by
the suggestion of trying to make him a full youkai, and despite Sesshoumaru’s emphatic
reassurance that it was not because he no longer loved the hanyou, his brother had remained
agitated and pensive. “Are you sure you checked everywhere, Rin-chan? You know how much
your Uncle likes to practice swordplay in the solarium. Did you look there?”
            “Hai, and he wasn’t there either.” Anxiety filled the large eyes and her lower lip started to
quiver. “You don’t think he ran away, do you?”
            “Iie, little one. I am sure he did not run away.” He pulled the child into his arms and
gently stroked her hair. “He most likely went for a walk. It’s a full moon tonight and he has
always loved to lay in the grass and watch it. He’s probably up on some hill right now doing just
that.”
            “Are you sure?”
            “Hai, I am sure, but I will go look for him just the same. Will that put your worries to
rest, little hen?” He cupped her face and smiled. “I promise to bring him home as soon as I find
him, alright?”
            “Alright, but will he still be able to tell me a story and tuck me in?”
            “I doubt it, sweetling, it will take me a while to find him and it is already time for you to
be in bed. Come, I’ll tuck you in, and then I’ll go look for your Uncle.”
            Rin nodded and grasped his hand as he stood up. Together they walked down the hallway
toward the stairway that led to the sleeping rooms on the second floor. “Do you think he’s
okay?”
            “Hai, Rin. I am sure he’s alright.” But Sesshoumaru was inwardly frowning. The truth
was he couldn’t honestly say he sure Inuyasha was alright. For him to run off without saying
where he was going was not a good sign and the Youkai was more than a little concerned. ‘I
wonder... have I driven him back to that wretched girl? Did I speak too much too soon?
Perhaps I should have waited a bit longer before I approached him...’
                                                            OoooOoooO
            Once he got outside into the gardens, it took Sesshoumaru about five minutes to pick up
his brother’s scent. It seemed the hanyou had wandered over and across almost the entire
grounds before deciding to take off on his own. The trail led directly over the east wall of the
north garden and the Youkai easily leapt across the obstacle. On the other side, the scent was
much stronger. It wasn’t competing with the roses and orchids and the beloved aroma hovered,
waiting just above the level of the ground for him to find it.
            Swift as shadow melting into the darkness, Sesshoumaru ran, following the scent as it
took him deep into the forest. A pang of distress stabbed through his soul when he noticed that
the general direction Inuyasha was taking led back toward the village. Were his worst fears going
to be realized? Had the hanyou left him? Low hanging branches whipped his face and tangled
through his hair as he charged through the trees, but he was oblivious. The only thing on his mind
was finding his brother.
            “Inu?!” The sound of his own voice echoed back to him but there was no answering cry
of, ‘Here,’ following it and he began to panic. “Inuyasha? Where are you?” Suddenly a long
buried memory came rushing to the surface of his consciousness, and as the images sliced through
his mind, Sesshoumaru faltered and fell to his knees. There was another time he remembered
searching for the hanyou in the forest. Another night he had raced through the trees calling the
same name, but for vastly different reasons.

“Where are you, pup?” he snarled as he crashed through the trees.
            “Don’t think you can hide from me for long. I can smell the disgusting scent
            of you clinging to the grass and leaves, so it is only a matter of time before I
            find you.”
                        It was dark. The night of the new moon was upon them and the little
            beast was in his loathsome human form. Earlier Sesshoumaru found him huddled
            beneath his bed and dragged him free by a handful of his long, ebony hair. Screaming
            and thrashing like a wild thing made it difficult for the Youkai to hold onto the
            brat, and one well placed kick in his gut forced him to let go. After that, the little
            demon disappeared out the window and down one of the vine covered lattices.
From there, he fled into the trees to hide from his brother’s wrath, but Sesshoumaru’s
fury was now well beyond the point of his being able to control it. All he wanted now was
to feel that little body squirming and quaking beneath the force of his unyielding will.
The beating he had planned for the hanyou would surly leave him complacent and willing
just this once.
                        “I will have you, hanyou!” he shouted to the shadows lurking inside
the trees. “There is nothing you can do to prevent my taking of you, or the beating
            you’ve earned for that kick of yours.” The scent of angry fear and desperation boiled
            up around him and he knew he was close. “There is no escape for you, pup. You
            will be mine before the sun rises, and you will learn your place if I have to beat
            you senseless. Do you hear me? Inuyasha?! Do you hear me?!”
                        “I’d rather fuck Jekin than let you touch me again, you filthy dog!”

Sesshoumaru jerked to the side as the snarling, high-pitched voice stabbed
            at him from the darkness. How dare that little abomination call him ‘filthy’ when
            the very thought of what he was could bring the taste of bile to even the vilest of
creature’s mouths. He was the wretched scum of the earth and Sesshoumaru was
            going to prove it to him. An acidic smile lifted the corner of his mouth. The little
            fool had given away his hiding place with that despicable insult, now it was just a
            matter of sniffing him out. That took all of ten seconds.
                        “Gottcha!” Sesshoumaru’s voice rang triumphant as he yanked the small
            hanyou up from his hiding place behind a thick stand of bayberry brush. He
            grinned wide, showing long, milky fangs that glinted despite the darkness. “Now,
            you’re all mine, little hanyou, and there isn’t a soul alive that cares what I do
            to you.”
                        “Go to Hell!” Furious golden eyes gleamed brightly in the shadow giving
            off their own light. The hanyou was only ten years old and a small boy, but that
            didn’t do much to smother his hatred and bravdo. He was scared and knew what
            kind of pain was laying in wait for him, but he would never let his fear control
            him. He would never let his brother win.
                        “I’ll go, you little freak, but you’re going to go there first.”
                        What followed had filled the forest with growling cries, screams of pain,
            and howls of passion. It was a very long night.

            ‘But he never cried one tear... not a single one.’ Sesshoumaru pulled himself back onto
his haunches and looked up at the moon. ‘I never saw him cry and he never begged me for
mercy... not my strong, unbreakable Inuyasha.’ A great pain settled in his chest and it was
difficult to breath around it. ‘What I did... Kami-sama, who am I that I could have done those
things to such a small child?’ An image of Rin flashed through his mind and he shivered,
covering his eyes with one of his hands.
            “No,” he whispered as an anguish he never thought about coursed through him. “I could
never do that to her, not my sweet Rin-chan.” ‘Then how could I have done it to my own
brother? What sort of monster am I? How can he love me? Did my wanting to make him full
Youkai make him think I still can’t love him because he’s a hanyou? Is that why he’s gone?’
Pain squeezed his heart and Sesshoumaru moaned, doubling over on himself.
            “Inu...” his voice rasped in his throat. “I’m sorry. God, help me, I am.” The tide of guilt
he had felt the day Inuyasha told him that he no longer needed to feel responsible for the pain he
caused in the past was nothing compared to what flooded through his senses now, threatening to
drown him. The weight of his sins was heavier than any burden of responsibility he ever carried
before as Lord of The Western Lands, and he found his strength crumbling beneath it.
            ‘It’s killing me,’ he thought as he curled into a fetal ball, wrapping his tail around his
body. ‘I’ll never survive this kind of pain. I can’t... my heart is going to burst from it . He must
be gone from me because I can’t feel him anywhere. Perhaps that wretched girl is right, he
should be with her, not here with me. This isn’t a natural love... we are brothers and brothers
are not meant to be this way, but...’ He shuddered and folded in further upon himself as
something terrible occurred to him. ‘Could it possible that I was never meant to be forgiven, I
was never meant to know the joy of his love and warmth? Once we crossed the line, he forgave
me so easily. I wonder, if I were in his place, would I have been so benevolent?’ In his heart,
Sesshoumaru knew he would not, and he began to whine low in his throat as a cold realization
settled upon his soul.
              When it came to the ways of the world, his beautiful hanyou brother was by far the better
individual. He might be insufferably arrogant and obstinate at times, and rude to a fault at others,
but when it came to honor and doing the right thing, Inuyasha was far superior to himself. He
was more like their father in that manner than Sesshoumaru had ever tried to be, and now more
than any other time, the great Youkai wished he could go back and change the past.
            The wretchedness of being alone swept over his heart and he trembled. He promised Rin
he would find Inuyasha and bring him home. What would he tell the little girl in the morning
when he came back without her beloved Uncle? How could he tell her that it was his fault the
smiling, playful hanyou was gone and would probably never be coming back? For the first time in
his life, Sesshoumaru felt the agony of loneliness pierce his soul, and he finally understood
everything. He knew why his father risked and then gave his life for the human woman he loved
and the son she bore him, why Inuyasha was forever risking his life for his human girl and his
friends no matter the potential loss of his own life, but above all, he realized something about
himself.
            He knew that if anything were to threaten Rin, he wouldn’t think twice about stepping
between her and that threat. He would give his life before he would let anything happen to her.
That is what love meant in this horrible human world. It was caring so much for another being
that you would be willing to do anything for them, even if it meant giving your life so they might
live. It was a sacrifice that was easy to make because of the value of that being. It was fostered
by the need to have them remain in your life at all costs. The need not to be deprived of their
smile, their laughter, the sound of their voice.
            Then a terrible thought occurred to him. There was a difference between losing someone
you loved to death and having them leave you. Having them leave was much worse. With death
you could grieve and miss that beloved individual but you knew what happened to them. The
ones who turned away from you and left never to return, they were the agonies of the heart that
never healed. They were a pain that never ebbed or dulled. It was then that he saw his life
stretching out before him as one long bleak existence filled with the pain and longing his brother
left behind. It was too much to bear, and he cried out in sorrow.
            “INUYASHA!”

                                                            OooooOooooO
            It was getting cold and his toes were starting to tingle. The rock he was sitting on had
long since lost it’s heat and the damp from the pool was filling the air making it musty. He would
have to be getting back soon or Sesshoumaru might worry something was wrong and he didn’t
want that. Already his brother had voiced great distress over what happened when he offered to
try and turn him full youkai, and Inu didn’t want him to feel any worse than he already did.
            ‘It was my fault,’ he thought, as he slid down off the stone. ‘If I wasn’t so worried all the
time about whether or not he still accepts me for what I am, none of that would have happened.’
He shook his head and wondered for the hundredth time when he was going to get over this deep
seated insecurity he had about Sesshoumaru eventually rejecting him just as he always had in the
past. ‘Why can’t I get over that? He’s already done everything and more to prove that he
doesn’t feel that way anymore. Why can’t I feel secure in that? Why am I still so worried he’s
going to send me away and tell me not to come back?’
            The moon was bright overhead, and as much as he always loved the moon and it usually
helped him think, it had not helped him tonight. He was no closer to making a decision about his
brother’s offer than he was when he left the palace. Life felt bleak and the world felt like his
enemy. Was fate against him ever being happy?
            “INUYASHA!”
            The sound of his own name, being cried in a voice of grief-stricken sorrow jolted Inuyasha
back to the reality of his surroundings. The fine hairs on the backs of his forearms stood up and a
tingle of psychic awareness slithered up his spine and danced around his nape. He knew that
voice. It was Sesshoumaru, but it was not a tone he remembered ever hearing from the Youkai
before. This voice sounded lost, alone, and hopeless. The tips of his ears pricked in the direction
he heard the voice coming from and he dashed off through the trees and brush in a flash of red
and silver.
            “Sesshou,” he called, “I’m here, Anaki. I’m here!”
                                                            OooooOooooO
            He found Sesshoumaru curled into a ball of pain, his tail wrapped around him like a womb
of fur. The Youkai was pale as death, his flesh cold and clammy to his brother’s touch. Fear
raced through Inuyasha as he wiped the long silver hair off the beloved face.
            “Open your eyes, Sesshou,” he pleaded, stroking the smooth flesh of an icy cheek.
“Onegai, open your eyes.” But there was no response from the silent, unmoving figure, and Inu
felt a rise of panic scrabbling at his throat. “Where are you?” he pleaded. “Don’t leave me. I
can’t do this without you. I can’t do any of it without you, Sesshou. Onegai, Anaki...come
back.” There was still no response and the panic spilled over in a tumble of whining sobs that
shook his chest and shoulders. Tears streamed down his face and he threw back his head and
howled his grief to the moon.
            “SESSHOU!”

It started to rain.
TBC

Check out the new 'Brothers' FanArt Gallery on 'Heart Of The Flaming Sword'. URL: http://www.tsukisan46.com/heartoftheflamingsword.html copy and paste. Beautiful Yaoi pictures of our favorite couple. Look in the Inuyasha Art Gallery Located at the bottom of the main catagory page. Enjoy.
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