Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Love is Blind	By : SplendentGoddess Category: InuYasha > General Views: 3003 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Inuyasha, and the characters therein, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am in no way affiliated with Takahashi or VIZ Productions, and I do not gain financially from my fanfic in any way.

Chapter List
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Chapter Nine

Reaching the bottom of the shrine steps, Kagome only had to wait for maybe a minute or two when an approaching car's rhythmic horn beeping got her attention. Pulling up along the curb, Kagome headed towards the sound of the engine before Miroku could even get out of the driver's seat.

“I got it,” Kagome said when she heard his door open, as she found his car and felt around for the door handle. Finding it, she got inside, and Miroku shut his door again before pulling away.

“Anxious, are we?” he teased as he drove off.

“A little,” she admitted with a bit of a nervous laugh.

Before the silence between them could grow, she spoke back up with, “I really appreciate this, Miroku-sama.”

“Kagome, please, I've told you before, it's just Miroku. Unless you want me to start calling you Kagome-sama as well.”

She laughed again, but a little more bitterly this time.

“I don't deserve such a title,” she said.

“And I do?” he joked, chuckling. “You might not think so if you'd met me prior to my lovely wife turning me into a one-woman man.”

That earned the smile he was hoping for.

“Being promiscuous is neither here nor there,” she dismissed then, still smiling. “It's just a matter of status. You're a reiki user-”

“And so are you,” he politely interrupted.

“Not anymore,” she argued.

“On the contrary,” he insisted. “If you have regained your ability to sense a person's soul, a rarer gift that not every reiki wielder possesses, then I feel I can safely say your other abilities should eventually resurface, as well.”

“I hope so,” she admitted then, “but if not, I got the most important ability back.” Sighing, she added, “It's not like I'm going to be able to go after attacking evil spirits anymore, anyway, and while I would still purify tainted objects for people if I could, it's not like I was the only person at our shrine who could perform that task for visitors.”

“Well, I certainly still hope that the rest of your abilities come back, but I must say under the circumstances I have to agree you have regained the most important one. And you said it was brought about by your desperation to know what he was thinking and feeling?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I just...I just felt so blind all over again, not knowing what was in his heart when that was an ability I'd always had my whole life until the accident. One I'd never realized how deeply I missed until I was in love with a man and needed to know if he felt the same way.”

Thinking about it a moment, Kagome was completely honest when she said, “If the kami had given me a choice in that moment, told me somehow that I could either have my ability to sense what was in people's hearts back, or I could have my sight back instead, but not both, I would have chosen my ability to sense people's hearts. That's how badly I'd wanted that ability back when it happened.”

“If the kami did have a hand in it, I'm glad they were listening,” Miroku said.

Smiling, Kagome replied with “Me too.”

It was just a few short minutes later that they pulled into the guest parking for Inuyasha's apartment building.

“You weren't kidding when you told me he didn't live that far away from me,” Kagome commented as she and Miroku both got out of the car.

Miroku guided her to and inside Inuyasha's apartment building, and road with her up the elevator to the top floor, but once he assured her the correct door was right in front of her, only a few feet away in a straight line, and that Inuyasha was indeed home because he could sense his youki, Kagome surprised the monk by asking him to leave.

“I can't just leave you here,” he protested.

“Why not? You said it yourself, Inuyasha's home, so it's not like you're abandoning me in the middle of nowhere all alone with no idea how to get back. He'd never let anything bad happen to me, so no matter how this conversation goes, or doesn't go, I know he'll at least see me safely back to the shrine.”

Miroku, reluctantly, had to admit she had a point, but still.

“He's not going to be very happy with me.”

“He's probably going to be mad at you for bringing me here no matter if you left or waited, at least until I can explain,” she pointed out logically. “In fact, do you know how good his hearing is?” she asked him then. “Because I bet he's already aware of us, or at the very least, if you can sense his youki, then he's gotta be able to sense your reiki.”

“Another valid point.”

“So go already,” she said, turning to 'face' him. “Shoo, shoo...” she gestured with her hands.

Laughing, Miroku conceded defeat and headed away. “Good luck,” he said, in regard to the conversation he knew she planned on having with his friend and boss.

Honestly, he couldn't see how the conversation couldn't go well, at least once Kagome got it through Inuyasha's thick skull that they could still make things work between them. The hanyou loved her, badly, and Miroku was ever so grateful that Kagome was as understanding and forgiving as she was.

Trying to convince herself of that same point, that there was no way this conversation could go badly, Kagome took a deep breath and, with her cane out just to make sure she didn't trip on anything, headed up towards the door Miroku had pointed her at. Knowing what she knew, now, she was not surprised in the slightest when, before she even got all the way up to the door, it opened.

She still couldn't sense his youki, no matter how hard she tried, but she could sense him, 'see' the soul of the person standing before her, and her heart ached at the confusion and fear rushing through him at her presence. There was nothing in his soul that revealed his youkai heritage, but that didn't surprise her because in her past experiences, if memory served, she'd always felt whatever spiritual energy someone had possessed separately from their heart and emotions. Regardless of what she could or couldn't sense in him, knowing that it was not his human time of the month and he therefore had all of his youkai senses intact, which were undoubtedly trained on her to their fullest, she tried her best to tamp down her own nervousness, lest he misunderstand and honestly think she was facing her fear of dogs in order to see him. She had butterflies in her stomach, but they were just of the normal variety.

“Inuyasha...” she began on purpose, letting him know up front that she knew. “I...I need to talk to you, please...”

Inuyasha...

The sound of his full name from her lips...it did funny things to him. He normally didn't care for his full name, but only because he usually heard it spoken with a sneer at the inu part, as if it were thrown on for emphasis by the speaker, like an insulting prefix, instead of the actual first part of his name. But the way Kagome said it, so...normally...and her entire tone, begging him to listen to her, to speak with her, to not push her aside. How could he refuse her?

He couldn't, just like she had told Miroku. Oh, he had heard them all right, had felt Miroku's reiki when he'd first pulled into the parking lot downstairs, but he hadn't realized Kagome was with him until overhearing what they were talking about out in the hallway. He wasn't angry with Miroku for bringing her here, though; not if this was what he hoped it was.

“Come in,” he said then, stepping out of the way so she could enter on her own.

As soon as she was inside, he said “Here,” as he took her cane and folded it up, placing it on top of his small getabako. She wordlessly slipped out of her shoes, then, and without needing to be told, because this was a genkan she was unfamiliar with, he picked them up and put them in an empty spot in the cubby before grabbing a pair of his guest slippers.

“You can go barefoot if you want, 'cause that's what I do, or if you'd rather have slippers then I've got a pair you can slip on,” he said.

“Barefoot is fine if you don't mind it,” she said, and muttering a quiet “Keh” he put the slippers back.

“This way,” he said then, as he took her hand like he had before, meaning only to lead her without trying to seem too familiar with her.

He noticed right away as her fingers began tentatively exploring his claws, and he tried not to let his apprehension show in his mannerisms, but belatedly realized that was a pointless endeavor as she could obviously sense it in him anyway, which she proved when she quickly retracted her fingers. No heightened sense of fear was coming off of her, so he knew she hadn't pulled away because his claws had bothered her. She'd pulled away because she'd sensed that it bothered him, except it didn't really bother him, he'd only been worried about what her reaction was going to be, and that worry had dictated said reaction.

“Even though we can sense what each other is feeling, we still need to communicate with words to avoid misunderstandings,” he managed to say then. “Yes I got nervous when you started feeling my claws, but that didn't mean you had to stop touching them.”

“Well I should have at least asked first. It was very forward of me, so I'm sorry.”

“Keh, don't worry 'bout it.”

Leading her into the living room where she had a seat on the western style sofa, he took a seat across from her in the matching chair, a part of him wanting to sit right next to her but another part of him knowing he shouldn't dare to be so bold until actually letting her say what she'd come over to say.

“I'm listening,” he said softly, though not quite as softly as he'd spoken during their date.

She hadn't realized it until now how much more she preferred his somewhat roughened voice. She supposed the voice change made sense, since his vocal cords probably completely changed when he turned human; there was no way a human could make the growl he'd done yesterday. Fortunately, thinking about his growling now, it didn't bother her. Like she'd told her mother, he was a person, and that made all the difference. He'd just startled her yesterday, and it'd triggered her PTSD a little bit, but now that she knew he could make that kind of sound, if he ever did, like say if they got broken into and he growled at the burglar, well that wouldn't scare her in the slightest. She'd be grateful he scared off the burglar!

And why the hell does her fantasy mind keep having her and Inuyasha living together?!

Wishful thinking... she mused then.

“Well, as I'm sure you know, I know what you are, now,” she started then, figuring it was already obvious but wanting to make sure there couldn't possibly be any confusion between them. Like he'd just said. Communication, with words. “Please don't be mad at Sango, but since your growl already pretty much told me you were demonic, which I'm sure was the point, she then told me what you are, specifically.”

He remained silent so she continued.

“And I'm so sorry I was afraid at first, for that first split second. I mean, I just wasn't expecting it. If you growled like that again now, I mean just like a demonstration but without any hostile intentions behind it, it wouldn't bother me. It was just...it was just so sudden.”

“It was a dick move. I didn't want to scare you, and then I deliberately scared you. I'm sorry,” he apologized then.

Facing him, she offered him her warmest smile.

“Well I'm not afraid of you, just so you know. I'm not forcing myself to be here. I'm only afraid of vicious, brainless lower beasts that just happen to be canine in nature. Even if you were pureblooded inu-youkai and could transform into a dog, that's still not the same thing, and knowing it was you?” She shook her head. “It still wouldn't bother me.”

Her smile widened at the sense of wonder she suddenly got from him at her words.

“You really mean that?”

“Can't you tell that I do?”

He scented her then, and there wasn't a trace of deception. She was being completely honest.

“I guess that means I can stop hating myself for accidentally whimpering, since that's what set the whole thing in motion. I didn't make that sound on purpose and I was kicking myself all of yesterday for it. If only the whole dog topic hadn't come up, I could have brushed you off, or so I'd told myself, at least.”

She shook her head.

“First of all, yes please stop hating yourself for whimpering. I'm glad you did, thus triggering, as you put it, the whole dog topic. And no, you wouldn't have been able to get rid of me otherwise, because I already got my sixth sense back, anyway, and knowing you love me, I wouldn't have let you continue to pretend you didn't.”

“And...” he began hesitantly, almost not daring to hope. “And you said it wasn't one-sided, right?”

“You think I would've put up with all your shit if I didn't love you?” she asked in a jokingly incredulous tone, which had him barking out a laugh.

And it did actually sound kind of like a bark, she realized, while wondering how and why she'd never noticed it until now since she'd heard him laugh lots of times over the last two years.

We really do just see what we want to see, or hear what we want to hear, in this case...

It dawned on her then that the truth had been right in front of her all along, but her own unconscious prejudices had had her just automatically assuming he was human, as if 'human' was the default setting and youkai were somehow exotic. Maybe they were a bit rare right in that particular part of the city, but they certainly weren't unheard of, like she'd told Kikyou.

“I'm sorry I kept what I was hidden from you,” he said then, once he got his laughter back under control. He both sounded and felt genuinely apologetic, and hopeful she could forgive him.

“I understand,” she assured him. “I mean, after I went and told you I was afraid of dogs-”

He flinched as she said it, which she never before would have known but now she could sense it.

“I'm so sorry,” she said instead of finishing her original sentence.

“It's not just that,” he confessed then. “I mean, yeah after you told me about that attack, I knew there was no way I could tell you, but before that. I mean...I've kept what I was from you for two years, when I had no idea about your past yet.”

Since Kagome had already pretty much figured out his reasoning behind that, she waved it off.

“I can't blame you for wanting someone you could chat with who treated you like a normal person instead of being prejudiced towards you because of your heritage,” she said. “Sango and Miroku both assured me you'd had every intention of telling me the truth on our first date, that you knew I needed to know if we were going to pursue a romantic relationship, so as far as I'm concerned, you were doing it all by the book.”

The tremendous wave of relief that washed over him made her smile. When she sensed his desire to get closer to her, his longing so palpable she could almost taste it, she patted the seat on the sofa beside her.

“You can sit over here if you want, you know,” she said with an almost teasing edge, and he felt embarrassed then, to realize she'd sensed his desire to be near her.

“I'm not used to anyone else being able to know what I'm feeling,” he confessed as he did her bidding and took a seat beside her on the small, two-seater sofa.

“And how is it fair that that nose of yours tells you what everyone else is feeling but you don't have to worry about your own emotions being on display?” she teased. “I think turnabout is fair play.”

“Speaking of my nose telling me how others are feeling, I really don't get any fear from you,” he stated rather in awe.

“That's because I'm not afraid,” she assured him. “I could never be afraid of you. Well, unless you turned into a total monster and attacked me, but you're not going to do that, right?”

He could tell she was actually only kidding, but that didn't stop him from getting deathly serious.

“I would give my life to protect you from harm, and if my own claws ever caused you harm I would give you my life in recompense.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, this isn't the Feudal era now,” she joked, but inside she was actually, truly touched, and he knew that. “I appreciate the vow, but I won't let you take it too literally. Accidents happen and if you ever accidentally scratched me just a teeny tiny bit, that wouldn't be the end of the world.”

“If you say so.”

He didn't sound convinced.

“Besides, your claws didn't feel that sharp,” she added then, as she reached out her hands. “May I?”

He knew what she was asking. Hesitantly, he placed his right hand in both of hers. He'd already told her she hadn't needed to stop touching them, right? After everything he'd put her through, he owed her this, to let her explore him, truly get to know him, in the only way she could.

Slowly, carefully, she explored the size and shape of his hand, tracing each of his fingers one by one. He blushed at the intimate contact, but let her have her exploration of him. Finally, she reached his clawed fingertips, and she explored the size and shape of his claws with her own fingertips, even daring to test their sharpness by pressing his index finger's claw against the palm of her left hand. They were more like blunted talons, but she could imagine they could still do a fair amount of damage if he put some real force behind it, and that wasn't even counting if he could channel his youki through his claws, which she'd bet he totally could. She knew Toga Taisho was an insanely powerful, centuries old daiyoukai; during the drive over here Miroku had told her that Inuyasha's youki was more powerful than a lot of full-blooded youkai and she didn't doubt it for a minute.

“So we've established that you love me and I love you,” she spoke up after a moment. “In case that doesn't make everything crystal clear for you, that means I want to keep dating you. I'm not afraid of you, but I do have PTSD, so if you make a noise I can't guarantee it won't get my adrenaline pumping, so you'll have to bear with me on that one, but I want to be your girlfriend. I promise.”

He swallowed loud enough for her to hear him, before gruffly whispering, “K-Kagome...”

She squeezed the hand she still held in both of hers.

“I mean it, Inuyasha. Screw what anybody else might say or think about the two of us being together. Let's go out to the fancy restaurants with you in all your youkai glory, strolling in like we own the place. Or if you really don't want to, then let's just share our meals in the restaurant you really do own. Hell, we can just stay in and get a pizza for all I care.” He chuckled a bit at that. “The point is,” she continued with an amused smile of her own, “I want to keep seeing you, if you'll excuse my poor choice of words.”

Lowering her head, a touch of sadness drifted into her scent as she let go of his hand.

“I wish I knew what you look like, but unfortunately, unlike with my so-called third eye, wishing hard enough isn't going to make it come true this time.” She shrugged. “I mean, Sango told me that your hair is white, but I don't even know what color your eyes are, and knowing your hair and eye color doesn't really tell me what you look like, anyway.”

“My eyes are golden yellow, except when I bring my youkai blood to the surface. They turn red, then, with blue pupils.” Kagome stiffened, and he guessed right away, “I take it the inugami's eyes looked like that? Not surprising, if it was in full attack mode at the time.”

Taking a moment to take her right hand in both of his, he promised her, “I don't turn into a brainless monster when I'm like that.”

Taking a deep breath, because he usually didn't string together so many words in a single sitting, he squeezed her hand and explained, “My father...even though he basically wants nothing to do with me, and told me not to go near the youkai side of town for now, some part of him must care for me, or at least didn't want to risk a scandal if I transformed and had no idea what was happening to me and somehow or another caused some trouble, because when I was young he sent my mother a book about how to control your inner beast so that it doesn't control you. It can be very hard for hanyou, especially stronger hanyou who have full-youkai strength youki contained within a mostly human body. It requires spiritual practice and training, probably similar to your miko training, for how to bring out your inner powers, and master control over them. It would've probably been a lot easier on me, and my mother, if I'd had a youkai teacher, but at least with the how to's written down I had instructions I could follow over and over until I got it right. And my mom had a few ofuda on hand just in case I got it wrong.”

He laughed a little at that, and squeezed her hand again reassuringly.

“She never needed to use any of them. I would never harm my mother, even when I was having an Incredible Hulk moment, transforming on accident as a pissed off teen. I was never mad at her, just the rest of the world,” he clarified. “And nowadays, I don't transform on accident. I'd probably have to literally be fighting for my life in order to transform automatically. Supposedly it's a safety mechanism, according to the book, but since this ain't the Feudal era I seriously don't expect to ever be lying bleeding to death anywhere.”

“I certainly hope not,” she agreed.

“And as for hair and eye color not really telling you what I look like...” he began then, letting his words trail off as he raised her right hand up and placed her palm gently against her face.

“You don't mind?”

He shrugged.

“Wouldn't have done it if I'd minded. I don't normally like being pawed all over, but I'll gladly make an exception in your case. You're not going to smack me around. At least I hope not,” he laughed.

She started to laugh too, but then something in the mix of emotions she was getting from him clued her in to something.

“You weren't...you were bullied as a child, weren't you?”

It was weird talking to him with her hand on his face so she lowered her hand, but she fully intended on taking him up on his offer momentarily.

He shrugged in answer to her question.

“By human children, so it's not like they could actually hurt me,” he assured her. “I mean, it hurt emotionally, but whenever one of the bigger kids punched me I just let him. My mother had made sure I understood that if I swung back I could accidentally seriously injure, or even kill them. And their physical blows didn't hurt me in the slightest. Physically, at least. So I just let them wear themselves out. The only thing that hurt was not understanding why the older boys at school all ganged up on me all the time. But looking back on it, I'm relieved I didn't go to a youkai school. I probably would've been coming home black and blue if that'd been the case.”

“The world is so unfair to hanyou,” Kagome sympathized. Lifting both hands back up, she said, “These hands will never touch you in anger or hatred.”

That said, she carefully, gently, she placed the fingertips of both hands on either side of his face, on his cheeks. He remained silent, then, and just let her explore his facial structure, the shape of his cheek bones, nose, jaw and chin.

“Mama was right when she called you handsome,” she murmured quietly after a moment.

“Actually, you called me handsome,” he pointed out.

“And she confirmed I was right,” Kagome countered.

Suddenly, he felt a bit nervous again, and she was about to lower her hands but then both of his were on hers, keeping them against his cheeks.

“There's...there's one thing you need to know about that...that your mother didn't see since I was human at the time.”

“Wha-”

Before Kagome could fully question, he moved both of her hands up to his ears. She was confused for all of two seconds, and then she gasped, but not in fright, as a huge smile spread out across her face that had him chuckling despite himself.

“I didn't even...I don't know why it didn't even occur to me...”

Inuyasha shrugged the best he could, and she could feel the emotion from him even if she couldn't detect the movement.

“All hanyou look different, and not all get the ears,” he explained. “Plus some less powerful youkai can't fully do humanoid forms and always have lingering animal traits. The ears aren't what brand me as hanyou to the youkai world, just the smell of my mixed blood.”

Thinking about it a moment, he added, “And I've overheard enough humans call me a youkai, muttered under their breath, so they don't even know I'm half human, either, and just wonder what the hell one of 'my kind' is doing in their part of the city.”

“I'd say there needs to be a safe zone for hanyou but that could be turned into segregation too easily,” Kagome commented.

“It's not so bad near the border between sides of the city,” he told her then. “I guess, unofficially, those few mixed couples that are out there figured that living in the middle part of town made the most sense.” Thinking about it, he added, “Of course, there's no official middle, but there's no official cut off between the human and youkai sides, either, it just sort of happened organically.”

“Most big cities are like that,” she confirmed. “Then you've got the smattering of smaller towns where one town will be mostly youkai, another mostly human. It isn't right. We should be more fully mixed together.”

Inuyasha just shrugged again.

“That's just the way the world is. And there are some very hanyou friendly smaller towns out there. I've looked it up. There are indeed some mixed towns, in completely different prefectures, but I just didn't want to move so far away from my mother.”

“Well that makes sense,” Kagome acknowledged then. “And I'm glad you didn't move away, because then I never would've gotten to meet you.”

“Yeah...” he agreed, closing his eyes as she began rubbing both of his ears in a particular way that made him want to whimper in pleasure though he managed to keep the sound locked inside. “I'm definitely glad we met, and I'm sorry, again, for putting you through all that shit for the last two weeks.”

“Well, Christmas is in three weeks,” she pointed out then. “I'm sure you can think of some way of making it up to me.”

“Whatever you want,” he agreed. “I can buy you anything, take you anywhere, or we can keep it simple. It's all up to you.”

“All I want for Christmas is you,” she said with a giggle, quoting one of her favorite songs.

He grabbed her hands.

“You'd better stop that. If I were a cat I'd be purring.” Chuckling he added, “And if you want me, you can have me.”

“Promise?”

“If I have your permission to kiss you, I'll prove it to you.”

Blinking behind her shades, she smelled a little nervous, but then licking her lips, she answered, “Yes please.”
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Love is Blind