Golden Eyes

BY : Vyperbites/Margie Eileen Jones
Category: InuYasha > General
Dragon prints: 10494
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

By morning Sesshoumaru had the car packed and insisted on carrying his mate out to the car. He didn’t want a wheelchair. Mirage was to come back in two weeks since she was still having trouble walking and sometimes her arms fell limply at her sides.

“It will be nice to be home.”

Mirage stated softly as Sesshoumaru held her. He was still so damn stressed as he bit his tongue. He didn’t want to go home. He didn’t really want to move from the car. He wasn’t quite sure where he wanted to be, but he wanted Mirage with him.

“Driver can you just drive for a while?”

The driver nodded as Sesshoumaru didn’t bother to call home. Kouga could read his thoughts, which was enough. Sesshoumaru wanted to go back to the caves and turn back the clock to fix things. He didn’t have that kind of power. That was only used to create Naraku and it was borrowed. He and his Father were limited on what they could do.

Chewing on one of his nails he sighed.

“Do you mind if we go somewhere besides home for a bit?”

Mirage smiled softly.


They were both dealing with the loss of their first child in different ways. It was the poison from the snake that had killed the unborn pup as well as the daggers.

When they got to the forest he told the driver to stop.

“I want to go to a den that I saw when I was wandering about here with Inuyasha and Kouga. I will bring us home with my powers before it gets too late.”

Wrapping the blanket around Mirage Sesshoumaru got out of the car and took off into the woods with her telling the driver not to come back.

Sesshoumaru felt the need to run as far as he could from people. He was afraid of how they really saw him. The Great Powerful Lord Sesshoumaru felt like a weak Alpha male who couldn’t even protect his mate and his unborn child.

Rushing faster into the woods he found the den. It was a safe place for canines and a home to most of them. Here he would try to show Mirage love and see if he could make love to her before he chickened out.

Setting his mate down Sesshoumaru laid the blanket down then laid her upon it.

“Are you sure you want me to…..I mean it is rather soon……”

Sesshoumaru stated softly as he touched Mirage.

“Yes… are my husband and I love you. I trust you. Just go slow.”

Mirage waited as Sesshoumaru hesitated for a moment then removed his shirt as he caressed her face and kissed her deeply he whimpered. He just couldn’t do it yet.

“I am sorry……I can’t……….”

Sesshoumaru ground out. Mirage sighed and pulled him down to hold her.

“It is alright. It will take time for us both. Just hold me.”

Sesshoumaru nodded as he held his beloved close. He felt like a fool. He was an Alpha damn it all and should be able to move past this. His nature demanded it and his demon wanted a pup since theirs had been stolen from them.

“I feel like I am less of a man……..”

Sesshoumaru sobbed as he broke down completely. Mirage finally cried too as they held one another. She couldn’t help him with this other than to love him and be there. She had her pain too and was fighting to try to move forward with her mate.

Mirage wanted to say he wasn’t less of a man and that he was perfect, but he wouldn’t believe it. Sesshoumaru had to see for himself. She would be there and hold him. However, she too was afraid. She could still feel those blades, those teeth, and that man ramming himself into her like an iron bar ripping her insides out.

“I am scared too………”

The two lay in each other’s arms and tried to rest. It still did not feel safe enough yet as Sesshoumaru teleported them to the house. For the first time in his life he asked something of Kouga he never thought he would. Sesshoumaru asked him to guard them as they slept. Kouga nodded after leaving Inuyasha and Kagome’s room. He stayed with them all night as both of them finally were able to sleep.

Kouga could smell the fear and the stress that Sess was going through. He had always had an empath’s way since it was important to know what a pack member was feeling so he could fix the problems as a leader should do. This time he didn’t know though if he could fix this particular problem. It was something Sesshoumaru would have to battle out on his own. He would probably be in the same position if it had been him locked up in those chains. He also cursed himself since he was ill and could not follow them in for the first battle.

The hardest part is his feelings inside for Mirage too. He felt she was his and inside he felt like he failed her too. Losing all his pack brothers years ago had made him bitter and deep down he blamed himself for their deaths since he should have gone to fight with them instead of letting the brothers go to battle on their own.

As Kouga got up to stretch Sesshoumaru awoke carefully sliding out of bed without waking Mirage. Sesshoumaru had tabs on everyone and if something moved within close proximity he was up especially now with the threat that was upon his family. He wasn’t certain that the snake demon was the only one involved in these assassinations.

“I wasn’t going anywhere my love. I was just stretching my legs a bit.”

Kouga stated as Sesshoumaru leaned forward taking in the sight of the man who saved them. He was damn gorgeous standing there with those fierce blue eyes and all of his long hair flowing around him. Wearing only a t shirt and some jeans Kouga was a sight to behold. Sesshoumaru owed him everything after this battle. He was tempted to make Kouga Alpha over him even. He wasn’t the one to save them; it was Kouga who had been the strong one.

“Kouga……..I don’t have the words to express what I feel……….”

Sesshoumaru knelt before Kouga leaning into him for comfort. He felt so damn vulnerable and like such a fool.

“Sess, get over it already. You fucking broke the spell and would have saved her if it were not for those bonds. Not even your Father could have done anything. You are still deserving of your Alpha position.”

Kouga stated looking away crossing his arms trying not to think about things.

“What is it you want……….I will give you anything……….”

Sesshoumaru stated as Kouga sighed in frustration looking down at his Alpha.

“No you won’t. You can’t and it is fine. We have come to an impasse on that. I will not give in to the temptation you offer off of a guilt trip Sesshoumaru.”

Kouga moved away from his Alpha.

“I can’t make love to my wife without feeling…… I failed her.”

Sesshoumaru stated almost begging for Kouga to understand.

“You are not the only one who feels that way. This isn’t about you this is about her and the fact that we are all afraid of what she might feel if we touch her. She flinched even with me. What the fuck do you expect? Inuyasha went through the same hell and you are telling me that you can’t help your own wife? Do not be pathetic. Your pride was damaged, that is all. Be a man and do something about it.’
“You won her remember not me. You knew my feelings for her so don’t fucking use them against me like this. Sesshoumaru you are really an asshole to even offer anything I would want and a fool when you know exactly what I have wanted.”

Kouga growled as he started to strip.

“You really want me to take her?”

Sesshoumaru’s eyes filled with tears.

“I don’t want that…………..I just can’t fathom………what if she thinks of me as a monster?”

Kouga grasped Sesshoumaru’s face and snarled.

“Do you think I am a monster for what I did to Inuyasha? I was under a spell remember? Did you forget I raped him? I helped to blind him under Naraku’s spell? The only fucking difference is this time you witnessed such an act. You witnessed it and you couldn’t stop it just like with Inuyasha. You didn’t stop it and you can’t go back to change it. Yet, here you were taking our pretty little Inuyasha as a mate the same damn day that I raped him and showed him love. You think you can’t do that again? If so you are a fool.”

Sesshoumaru nodded understanding. He knew what he had to do.

“Kouga, it wasn’t you it was Naraku who hurt Inuyasha just like this was another who hurt her. I want you to be with us. You haven’t chosen a female for yourself. Help me with her and let us make up from what happened between us. You are so angry with me all the time, you wanted her first and I took her.’

Kouga snarled and slapped Sesshoumaru across the face.

“Do not play with me! You forget she has feelings too. Get over yours………”

With that Kouga stormed out of the room growling about stubborn Inu assholes who had shit for brains.

“That was uncalled for……….”

Sesshoumaru stated as he snarled heading out to beat up Kouga until Mirage awoke.

“Why can’t you men stop fighting amongst each other? Can’t we all just……..get along?”

Mirage stated looking at Sesshoumaru who closed the door.

“See if I will let you get away with that comment Kouga….bastard.”

Sesshoumaru stripped and looked down at his wife. It wasn’t fair. He couldn’t do what he did with Inuyasha to her. Even if he was pissed off at Kouga he wouldn't take it out on Mirage by having angry sex with her even if that is what his stupid demon wanted.

Watching Mirage try to get up only to have her legs fall out from under her made Sesshoumaru panic.

“We need to get you back to the doctor Mirage.”

Mirage shrugged as she was being tucked into bed.

“Go chase Kouga down and let me be. I am not a child.”

Sesshoumaru growled.

“What has gotten into you lately? Why are you so damn negative with me?”

Mirage roared.

“Maybe Sesshoumaru it is because you have been yelling at everyone else for days with me conscious enough to hear it! Maybe it is because you haven’t properly thanked Kouga and perhaps it is because you just tried to pawn me off! I don’t love Kouga like that! I accept your relationship with Kouga and Inuyasha. However, I am not Kagome! I don’t share with other women!’
“You were with Kouga and Inuyasha way before you met me. You have been coupled for how many centuries now? It is horrible for me to just say don’t be with your male mates when you have been together for all these years. I would be a jerk and a hypocrite to just pretend I don’t know what you do behind my back because fact is we are connected. I don’t judge you, but I do not expect to be pawned off to any male in this house just because they saved my ass? What is this! A free for all?!”

Sesshoumaru sighed and sat on the end of the bed.

“I wasn’t trying to pawn you off. I thought perhaps you would see Kouga as your Alpha since I failed to save you and he did. It is what most demon women would do. They would ask to have the male unmate them so they could be with the one who was a better protector to their pups. It is in our nature.”

Mirage sighed and wanted to do what Kouga just did to Sesshoumaru except now her damn arms were not working again. The doc said she might be crippled for life since dark purification caused the wounds to remain and the side effects of the blades that had pierced her shoulder blades also affected her whole body since it had seeped into her bloodstream. Sesshoumaru never got over that and it was too much like Inuyasha’s blinding. With both of his beloved mates being handicapped it was considered a shame on his ability to protect his family and as a ruler it made him look weak.

“I understand what you are saying Sesshoumaru, but we are not domesticated animals, this ain’t the Feudal Era, and did you per chance notice I have been here for you? I am not running off to the next male since my demon says you are the one and you are more powerful. Not that I give a damn. I didn’t even know my demon existed until we met and fact is if I didn’t listen to it before why the fuck would I listen to it now?”

Sesshoumaru nodded. He was tired and he didn’t want to fight.

“I am sorry about that Mirage. I didn’t mean to put it so coldly. I just felt it best that I allow you to choose and by offering you up to Kouga that meant you could do so. I am currently living in shame in my culture. I am working on this, but I need some time alone. I will send in Kouga since as much as I love you I can’t stay here right now. Maybe he can explain things since right now I can’t.”

Sesshoumaru left because he couldn’t fight anymore with Mirage. She was trying to give him reasons, excuses for his failure as a male. He couldn’t see things that way. He failed and that was all there was to it. They were lead right into another spider’s web and a snake took them for the ride of their lives destroying everything Sesshoumaru held dear. Naraku had done so too through Kouga and he didn’t stop it. In many ways he was responsible for Naraku, thing was in the end Kouga never raped Inuyasha it had been the monster he let loose. He thought he could live with that pain. However, seeing Mirage actually being raped unable to stop it just made him remember how he failed to save Inuyasha who was his destined mate to begin with.

There was so much going on in his mind that Sesshoumaru thought he was going to go insane. He knew too much and this game was no longer fun. It wasn’t one created by him or his Father. This was Scales life before he came to earth. This story was in Scales hands and since life was too precious to waste they couldn’t go back. Scales knew that and so did the others.

Sesshoumaru had thought about things. Looking at Tensaiga he prayed for the first time in his life. He got down on his knees and prayed.

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